How do you prevent attachment?

[SandHawk]

Last weekend I went to London to see a friend of mine who will return to the US indefinitely, where I probably won't see her for at least a year. Around the time she was over in my city I happened to abroad and missed her. She however would be in London upon my return to help her parents clean up the apartment before going back to the US.

So, I got myself a ticket over to London to meet her for 5 days. In the past we had quite some good rapport and flirting going on, except I was seeing someone else back then(more than just a plate). That recently imploded, and thus going over the channel actually got my mind of things.

We hit it off pretty good the first night, ended up having sex whenever we could, even tho her parents are conservative Americans. Was pretty hilarious, as I probably would have been kicked out if they found out.

In short, after 5 days of spending time with each other non-stop, I ended up feeling attachment to her. We discussed it before hand and told each other not to. Funny how we both failed. I don't regret it, since it's attachment, not a crush or being in love, but I really like to prevent this from happening in the future. At this moment in life I've decided I do not want a relationship with ANY girl, but still want to enjoy sex.

This is one of the things I really haven't figured out. So, how do the pro DJs prevent attachment?

 

[L B]

ahhh.....Date plenty of women? It's that simple.

 

[SandHawk]

I've spun plates at the same time, and attempted to distribute my time equally amongst my plates. 5 months ago I had 3 plates at the same time, and after a month, I got attached to one of them and started spending more and more time with her, eventually dropping the other plates.

Maybe I should pay more attention to what I'm doing and how I'm spending my time. I got a clean slate when it comes to plates at the moment, and the new college year is starting, so time to get some new playes .

 

[jophil28]

You can't "prevent" attachment as if it were some disorder to be avoided.

"Attachment", according to the Buddhists is the source of all suffering. They have that half right and half wrong. Attachment is not problematic per se. Suffering follows when we become attached to a toxic person or a destructive process.
It all comes down to making good choices and managing your involvement in those choices.

Attachment is part of life - it is to be well MANAGED, not avoided.

 

[Falcon25]

I wouldn't even hang out with my wife for five days straight if I had one. WAAAAAAY too much. You don't have to worry about this one, soon, she will leave you. You are becoming predictable and boring.

 

[SandHawk]

I wouldn't even hang out with my wife for five days straight if I had one. WAAAAAAY too much. You don't have to worry about this one, soon, she will leave you. You are becoming predictable and boring.

I don't have to worry about this one, because she's half a globe away from me, and I will most likely never see her again. The only reason I spent 5 days non-stop with her is because I had no other options. All in all, it wasn't too bad, it was quite intense and great fun.

 

[wasted-nick]

Attachment, to some degree, is totally normal. You should get somewhat attached to a woman you are into.

People are communal creatures... We need some degree of attachment to others. That's just the way it is - it's built into our survival instincts. To deny this fact is useless.

However, we are also rational beings with the capacity to evaluate and reason. That being said, be careful who you get attached to.

 

[TizZle]

You can't "prevent" attachment as if it were some disorder to be avoided.

"Attachment", according to the Buddhists is the source of all suffering. They have that half right and half wrong. Attachment is not problematic per se. Suffering follows when we become attached to a toxic person or a destructive process.
It all comes down to making good choices and managing your involvement in those choices.

Attachment is part of life - it is to be well MANAGED, not avoided.

This is good advice.


You don't want to get attached? Then don't hang out with anyone ever again. Become a loner.

 

[ARrocket]

I wouldn't even hang out with my wife for five days straight if I had one. WAAAAAAY too much.

THIS ^^^^

Your attachment is due to the fact that you were having sex with ONE girl for FIVE days. She became your world. And you were getting laid. Of course you'll be attached. The feeling will pass as soon as you get back to spinning plates and banging other girls. It will.

@ PairPlusRoyalFlush: Saying you don't have time to spin plates is complete bullsh!t. MAKE some more time...even a couple hours here and there. Take the time you have, and divide it up among all your plates.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

What's wrong with attachment?

You guys hit it off and have great rapport. Anyone who's halfway frickin normal would get attached to that. Dwelling on it, when it can't work out longterm is where the problem lies.

Maybe there's a "safeness" that happens when you two get together because there's a finite amount of time to spend with each other.

10 bucks says that the second you two were in the same place indefinitely, it would fall apart.... or you'd hook up for good and get married.