How do you Next a girl?

[Blaaaaat]

Alright went with a girl, first three weeks were great. Now the last three weeks weren't great. I've tried 5 times to meet up with her, but she couldn't make it for whatever reason. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt because first three weeks were great, and in all contact we have she didn't gave me the idea she had enough of me.

But in the last three weeks i've seen her two times, and one of those times it was a coincedence that she was in my town. SHe had a date with some old co-worker of her. Well we did agreed to have an open relationship, but if she can make the time for him and not for me... well... that isn't a good sign (Red Flag).

I've no fukking clue what she wants but I'm not going to wait to find out. So i've decided to next her. I do not have time for these mixed signals, it's driving me crazy and i've lost controll over this raltionship.

But how do you next, should I let her know that i'm done with these BS games, or should I just stop contacting...? Does she owe an explanation from me?

In the beginning we decided that we would have a relationship with no commitments, but I've know idea if she ment if I could date/fukk other girls? She's going on a two week vacation next saterday so I'm not even sure if i should next her before or after this vacation, maybe she will get upset maybe she is glad that I want to stop this "relationship". This is just the reason why i want out, i've no fukking clue what she thinks/want/expects from me...

pfff, live was so much easier without woman...

 

[AKA FLEX]

There are several different styles of "nexting". You have to find the one that best suits your situation.

Here are a few different methods my friends and I have come up with and use as needed:

The Greg DePersio Method: This is where you avoid doing the dirty work of dumping a girl yourself by making the relationship so miserable that she ultimately breaks things off with you. Ways this can be accomplish include, but aren't limited to: calling only sporadically/irregularly, blatantly ogling other women in her presence, incessantly talking about exes, making her pay on dates, etc. This method will assuredly garner you the reputation of an *******, but when it comes right down to it, who really gives a ****.

The Jay Kington Method: Absolute and total cessation of contact. Do not return her calls, e-mails, voicemails, pages, etc. Within two or three weeks, she'll usually get the message. In rare occasions this plan backfires, the girl becomes obsessed, and becomes more of a burden on your life than she was while you were dating. Typically, however, this method is the best bet for the lazy, non-confrontational man.

The Forthright Method: As Eminem would say, "Straight from the hip, cut to the chase, I'll tell the mother f__kin' sIut to her face." Tell her exactly why you want nothing to do with her anymore, accept no negotiations, and don't look back. Ostensibly, this is the best method to use because you play no games and don't skirt around the issue. However, it takes a man with a sack the size of Wisconsin to pull it off successfully.

With your situation, Blaaaaat (what the hell kind of name is that), I'd go with the Jay Kington method. You haven't been dating long at all and her interest in you appears tepid at best. Your best bet would be to terminate all dealings with her and move on with your life.

 

[Blaaaaat]

Damnit,I suck. I decided to next her and what do I do... I mail her telling that i would like to see her before she goes on vacation and asked if could come over tomorow...

I suck I must be stronger then this...

 

[Albion2]

The more women that you know want you the easier it is to next a woman. So your ultimate goal is to have multiple women wanting you. It's not that difficult, if I can do it anyone can do it... it's all in the head.

To be honest, it sounds to me like she wants to have nothing to do with you any more. Put the shoe on the other foot. If you were interested in someone, would you avoid them all but two days out of a three week period? And it doesn't matter what excuses she gives you, they could be lies. For all you know, she might be using the Jay Kington Method on you.

I say forget about her, why should you worry about nexting her when she's already nexted you.

"it takes a man with a sack the size of Wisconsin to pull it off successfully"

You have something against Wisconsin? We make cheese and beer, thus we have the best farts on record, what more do you want!?!

-al

 

[ryoshi]

Originally posted by Albion2
The more women that you know want you the easier it is to next a woman.

I'm thinking that with the way you just emailed her, it would be best to try and find tons of women. Date tons of women and go out and everything. That way, if she doesn't call back, you've got tons of other chicks to get with. If she wants to date you, then you can just use her for the coochie.

Win Win!

 

[OddTech]

Aka Flex made a lot of good points. Some methods are better than others depending on the situation. Your best choice is to use the Jay Kington (can anybody tell me where this name comes from?) method since she seem to be doing the same.

I tend to use the Eminem method when the girl seems to be getting too interested and I have decided to next her. This is to prevent any games and remove any doubts. I never use the DePersio method since that's unnecessary.

 

[DIESEL]

Originally posted by Blaaaaat
Damnit,I suck. I decided to next her and what do I do... I mail her telling that i would like to see her before she goes on vacation and asked if could come over tomorow...

I suck I must be stronger then this...

Yeah, dude that is pretty weak.

1. You could save face by sending an email and apologize by pre-emptively saying that you can't come because something has come up. Don't mention what that something is. AND NEVER SPEAK TO HER AGAIN.

2. Look between your legs and make sure you have a **** and balls. Good. NOW STOP BEING A PVSSY!

d

 

[Blaaaaat]

Damnit, the worst thing is that i can't figure out where I went wrong. This suck's, i really liked her. Woman suck.

**** it.

 

[Blaaaaat]

Originally posted by DIESEL
Yeah, dude that is pretty weak.

1. You could save face by sending an email and apologize by pre-emptively saying that you can't come because something has come up. Don't mention what that something is. AND NEVER SPEAK TO HER AGAIN.

2. Look between your legs and make sure you have a **** and balls. Good. NOW STOP BEING A PVSSY!

d

Yeah, i was hoping for this kind of replies. I need some reality-face -slapping. Damn, i thought i was stronger then this. ahhh, well... learned something for the next time.

 

[Oxide]

blaaaaaat. i find it hilarious you called yourself that. becuase it is exactly what your attitude been so far.

I dont know where you balls went, may be up your ass?

 

[Blaaaaat]

Oxide, what exactly do you find hilarious?

 

[Blaaaaat]

Originally posted by AKA FLEX
....

With your situation, Blaaaaat (what the hell kind of name is that), I'd go with the Jay Kington method. You haven't been dating long at all and her interest in you appears tepid at best. Your best bet would be to terminate all dealings with her and move on with your life. [/B]

Blaaaat is a good name.

But terminating all dealings (100$) with her is not possible, she's the sister of one of my best friends. That also rules out the Greg DePersio and Fortright method, i don't want to be an ***hole, it would be disrespectfull towards my friend. Im going with the cutting 99% of the contact with her (let's see if can grep my balls and stop being a weak pu**y), and if she ask, i will tell her what's the deal.

thanks for yor advise.

 

[Blaaaaat]

Originally posted by Albion2
...

To be honest, it sounds to me like she wants to have nothing to do with you any more. Put the shoe on the other foot. If you were interested in someone, would you avoid them all but two days out of a three week period? And it doesn't matter what excuses she gives you, they could be lies. For all you know, she might be using the Jay Kington Method on you.

I say forget about her, why should you worry about nexting her when she's already nexted you.

...

-al

Well, she initiates 90% of all contact (email,phone,etc) on a daily basis, even telling that she wants to see me. But when i try to actually meet her, she flakes. But you're right, if she really wanted to see me this wouldn't be a problem. I think she's not sure how she feels about me, but i'm not going to wait anymore. But i don't think she nexted me, maybe she just wants me around as back-up, maybe she is scared to hurt my feelings by dumping me... who knows what it is.

 

[Albion2]

Well, she initiates 90% of all contact (email,phone,etc) on a daily basis, even telling that she wants to see me. But when i try to actually meet her, she flakes. But you're right, if she really wanted to see me this wouldn't be a problem. I think she's not sure how she feels about me, but i'm not going to wait anymore. But i don't think she nexted me, maybe she just wants me around as back-up, maybe she is scared to hurt my feelings by dumping me... who knows what it is.

Sounds to me like you're her goto guy. If all else falls through she knows she can call you to feel better about herself, "At least someone wants me." No matter what she's doing you'll never have a real chance with her! Move on, don't think about it, just move on! Personally, I wouldn't even give her the honor of one last meeting to spill my guts, just stop taking her calls.

-Al

 

[One on One]

NEXTing is not absolute. Each man has a queue of things that demand his attention, but each man only has so much attention to go around. The things on this queue may be other women, work, hobbies, etc...

Things at the top of the queue get attention very frequently. THings further down get attention less and less often. Things at the bottom of the stack get little or even NO attention.

NEXTing is the process of sending a woman to the bottom of the queue. Thus, she gets no attention. Many people think the "next" is an angry or bitter move, where you reject the girl, go out of your way to avoid her, or even treat her poorly. That's not the DJ way. No matter HOW hurt you are, you are in control of your emotions.

The problem is that recovering AFCs often don't have enough things on that queue (other women, hobbies, work, school, etc) to insure that a woman naturally doesn't get any attention. She'll be at the bottom, but at the bottom of two things, so she's still second-in-line and still gets attention. Or he hasn't matured enough to control his attention and keeps letting her get further up on the queue than she belongs.

The thing about this analogy is that the girl is still capable of moving up the "queue" by behaving in a manner that is more to your liking, after she sees what benefits your attention can have.

Of course, this means she has to WANT your attention, which is something YOU have to address. GIving your attention to a girl who doesn't want is just wasted attention, plain and simple.

That's just the way I think about it.

That's a post by squirrels about nexting...very biblical, if you ask me so I wanted to bring it back up.

 

[Blaaaaat]

Very usefull!! thanks! Something else then the easie black-white vision....