"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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How Do You Message the HB9+ that's on Online Dating Sites?

Speculator E

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I've was experimenting with online dating site a few weeks back. I sent a few email to a couple of girls to test the water but wasn't expecting anything. A few replied and I was surprised that one of them was a HB9+ blonde. I wasn't planning on seriously pursuing anyone, but this is a HB9+ so I definitely want to give it a try.

I first mention about this in this thread:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=181564&page=2

And now it looks like I might have messed up. She replied to the second message I sent. Here's how it went:

I said: (2nd message)
So, what are you doing to pass the time? I saw you like Nicholas Sparks, so I'm guessing you're a big romantic?
Her:
Not at all..i just like his stories.
Typically chick flicks and romance makes me sick.
Me:
I'm surprised by that. You look like you would be.
(probably could have done better here, but was kind of tired)

Then no reply after that. I'm confused why? Where did I messed up? I've read later on that you should ask a question in all your email to get a better chance of a reply.

I haven't ruled out that she might just have lost interest. But I don't know how she could as she looked at my profile both time and still sent a message back. Or could it be that some chick will reply back to anybody?

I want to send another email back to test her interest, but don't know if I should. And if I do, what kind of message?

Note: I'm new at this online dating. It's different than in real life.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Speculator E

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Here's my planned reply. Goal is just to see if she'll reply back.

But I agree with you that they do set unrealistic expectations. Hard work and compromise is what I've heard that makes relationships last. Btw, are you still working at that karaoke bar? What's that like? It sounds like fun.
 

Blackmm

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Take the conversation offline and either plan to meet her in person or at least get her phone no to call her SAP. If she insists on keeping the convo online for awhile until she "gets to know you better" or other BS excuse, she is either already fvcking some other dude or really a fat chick who wants to draw you in further before springing herself on you.
 

NorwegianDJ

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Most of the people Ive seen had success at POF and stuff attract girls to them. They just have outragous and funny stuff on their profile, and send messages that clearly states that they dont give a ****. Girls get like 10 messages in 5 minutes on that site.
 

Iceberg

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Speculator E said:
Here's my planned reply. Goal is just to see if she'll reply back.

But I agree with you that they do set unrealistic expectations. Hard work and compromise is what I've heard that makes relationships last. Btw, are you still working at that karaoke bar? What's that like? It sounds like fun.

You don't seem like you'd be a lot of fun to talk to. You should fix that.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Speculator E

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Iceberg said:
You don't seem like you'd be a lot of fun to talk to. You should fix that.
The girl talks a lot about being serious in her school career and aspires to be a lawyer and says she wants someone as driven and goal-oriented as her. So I'm just mirroring what I think she's wants to hear.

I'm kind of looking for that too. From what I hear from talking to a bunch of girls is that not all of them want a playmate for a relationship. They are all different. Some want a helpmate, others want soulmates and a few smart ones want a "mindmate".
 

NoCommitments

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I've been playiing the online thing for a while. its good pua practice
Here's my summary why you messed up.
Girls have heard it all! especially the hot ones. So b4 telling them anything complimentary or getting into the comfort zone you need to qualify them.
You jumped right into:
Thinking you know her too soon: "your a big romantic"
Not passing her test or replying to: "romance makes me sick"

Instead you decide to compliment her..."you look like you would be"
F*ck her. She didn't deserve a compliment. But you expected her to thank u or say aww really? Why is that? Nope. She tested ur manhood & u crumbled

I would let this one go & learn from it
 

Andy_Dufresne

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Speculator E said:
The girl talks a lot about being serious in her school career and aspires to be a lawyer and says she wants someone as driven and goal-oriented as her. So I'm just mirroring what I think she's wants to hear.
By my judgement the mistake you made was right here. Under ANY circustance early in the dating process you don't EVER want to tell her "what she wants to hear".

Next time do the exact opposite. The goal is surprise. Keep catching her off guard. And ignore the lawyer nonsense, every woman on the net makes herself out to be some professional or wannabe.

Also, I wouldn't go more than 2 or 3 emails before requesting digits. That is really where the rubber meets the road with women. If she's interested, she will cough up her phone number.

Best of luck
 

Speculator E

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Andy_Dufresne said:
Also, I wouldn't go more than 2 or 3 emails before requesting digits. That is really where the rubber meets the road with women. If she's interested, she will cough up her phone number.
That seems very short. Why do you want to get the number within 2 or 3 email?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Iceberg

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Speculator E said:
That seems very short for conversing. I was treating it like texting back and forth.
Well you really shouldn't text back-and-forth either. A lot of dudes make the mistake of getting in these day-long text convos with chicks. But that's a different story.

2-3 emails should do the trick.

Email 1: "You spent a summer on a farm in Italy? That's like my dream vacation. My grandparents had a farm, and I grew up blah blah blah...Do you travel a lot?"

Her response: Blah blah blah

Email 2: "Yeah, I'm starting to get the travel bug. When the weather is warmer, I'll start planning some trips out of town. You find any cool adventures around town this winter?"

Her response: Blah blah

Email 3: "I love that place! I pretty much took over the bar on karaoke night. We should go there. I think you'd love it. What's your number?"


Either she gives you the number, or she disappears, but there's no need to spend a month writing back and forth.

On these sites, are women serious about meeting and dating someone? What I mean is there are no games?
Some girls are serious about it. Others are just testing it out and playing games. You'll weed your way through those.

And there are games. But they only exist if you play them. Don't play their games, and you can't lose. Or to sum it up, don't chase after the game-playing girls.
 

Speculator E

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Iceberg said:

Email 3: "I love that place! I pretty much took over the bar on karaoke night. We should go there. I think you'd love it. What's your number?"


Either she gives you the number, or she disappears, but there's no need to spend a month writing back and forth.
I see, so in the last email I should've kept the momentum going and ask for the number. Gotcha.
 

Andy_Dufresne

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Speculator E said:
That seems very short. Why do you want to get the number within 2 or 3 email?
Because attractive women have seen it all, and they know what they want. This woman probably gets 10 different guys hitting on her a day on the web. She had you qualified as a "maybe" from the start; you had an "in", but you did not escalate in time, some other guy beat you to the punch.

Take it as a big ego hit that you got a response to begin with, you were in the top 10% in her mind. Also be thankful you were disqualified after several emails; now you have time to pursue other women more worth your while.

In my business and sales I learned a while back about the 4 levels of communication: text/email is the lowest, most impersonal form, then phone, then face to face. The goal is always face to face (within reason) as soon as you can.

An attractive woman is gonna view a guy who plays on the web too much as "weak"; and not having the b^lls to escalate.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Speculator E

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I've been thinking about this. When she said:

Not at all..i just like his stories.
Typically chick flicks and romance makes me sick.
If I had put more thought into this and taking into considering the advice given, I might have replied back with:

I don't believe that one bit!!! If you didn't believe in that, then why would you be on a site like this. Maybe you need to find a guy to show you that those things are possible. Why don't you give me your number and I can help you with that!?
I admit it sound kind of cheesy. But it may be so cheesy that it might have actually worked.
 

runner83

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Personally I think you're over thinking it.

The only reason she responded to your message was because she liked your pic and you didn't come off as a chump to start with.

Just go with some brief messages back and forth and aim to get her number within 3 e-mails.

Best way to ask for her number:

End of your e-mail:

"What's your number?"

If she wants to meet, she will give it. If not....

Cuts through all the b/s and makes sure you don't get stuck in the pen pal phase.
 

Mantis Toboggan

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Speculator E said:
I've been thinking about this. When she said:


If I had put more thought into this and taking into considering the advice given, I might have replied back with:


I admit it sound kind of cheesy. But it may be so cheesy that it might have actually worked.


Are there any generic message that will work for most hot chicks? I looked through a few more profile and most of them are boring and gives almost nothing to create a specific response like that.
All due respect, buddy, but you're going WAY WAY WAY overboard with the analyzing of this stuff. At some point you're just going to have to go out and make some mistakes. You can't have sosuave dissecting every sentence you write.
 

Speculator E

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Mantis Toboggan said:
All due respect, buddy, but you're going WAY WAY WAY overboard with the analyzing of this stuff. At some point you're just going to have to go out and make some mistakes. You can't have sosuave dissecting every sentence you write.
You're right, I'm been analyzing too much lately. I think I got the idea of what to do. That last girl was the hottest one in my area I've seen so far and seem like a good catch. Kind of wished I knew what to do at the start.
 

Naughty Ninja

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Speculator E said:
You're right, I'm been analyzing too much lately. I think I got the idea of what to do. That last girl was the hottest one in my area I've seen so far and seem like a good catch. Kind of wished I knew what to do at the start.

Wait a few days and send her an email to see if she got over her "romance" flu. In the meantime try with different girls. Don't "favorite" her. Just copy and paste her username to remember in an email. Then search for her in a few days and send an email asking her what she does to get over her romance sickness and if (only chatting online) is her medicine or something like that.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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