How do you maintain attraction over distance in the short term?

[Kaine]

Hey guys been trolling since 2000.

I've just registered and have enjoyed contributing as of late (on the general forum), this is the first time I've decided I need some advice.

I've just been into an exclusive relationship with the GF for the last two months. Thanks to everything I've learnt I've attracted a very sexy, smart and giving girl.

At the moment she has gone abroad for 3 or so months.

I saw her 2-3 times a week. Also I never call her during the weekdays, she always initiates contact first unless I make plans for us. She knows I am lazy to contact her for anything else except making plans.

She is in love with me. I don't tell her I like or love her, but she says I am the most romantic guy she has ever been with.

I want her to maintain the same madly in love feeling she is having until she gets back.

In your experience what actions have YOU taken to maintain attraction in such difficult circumstances?

i.e. Did you write 7 days a week? Did you tell her you miss her? Did you remain aloof and not tell her? Would appreciate details and outcomes so I can establish some guidelines for the weeks to come and just go on autopilot.

thanks

 

[Ricky]

Does she have an international cell phone?

She should call.

Just keep it cool like nothing has changed. For that matter she will probably be dying to tell someone stories about things that are going on there, so be sure she is writing or e-mailing you stuff.

Keep your e-mails ****y and funny. Ask to see pictures of where she's been and tell her to keep them tasteful.

 

[cave dweller]

contact

Hey,

Chill out.....
Just maintain contact vie: e-mail and the phone.
Make sure you ask her lots of questions about her activities and all of the things she has been doing.

cave dweller

 

[Kaine]

Hahaha thanks guys really appreciate your opinions, I have no doubt that we will be fine when she gets back. I just realise that she is an exceptional girl and relationships take effort and I'm willing to go out of my way to make it the best possible. In this case keeping her IL not just high but sky high.


I don't want to come of as too incongruent to my usual cool personality, which includes putting some distance between us when she is not around. This includes allowing her to initiate all contact. I recognise that this is an exception due to the length of time apart, I'm fighting my gut instinct to write every day and tell her I miss her to make up for the physical affection she usually gets in my presence during this long period. But I don't want to condition her to expect that when she gets back, how much of the floodgate should I open. Is this counter counter intuitive


She does write and call (calling card). Currently I am usually waiting a day if not more to reply with emails. I have no problems about what to write in emails or to ask in phone converations this is expected (because I'm naturally interested in her), how much verbal mushyness though in light of not been there with her to show it.


I like the request for pictures ("but no seedy ones"), suggestion I will use that sometime.


I'm not asking for details because I'm stressing out, as a guy I like to discuss things as tangible steps, process and logic to solve a problem (How can we launch this missile)? In this case what can we do to maximise attraction in the given situation?


Cheers

 

[Ricky]

Make sure you keep enough contact to keep the line tense as David D likes to say. He says don't let the line go slack.

If you are e-mailing her a few times a week (always as a response to hers thats cool)

Also make sure she knows you are having a good time while she's gone whether you are secretly pining away or not. She will look forward to coming back to you if she sees you are independent and still able to have fun.

Feel free to check in with some updates. I am interested in cases like this myself.

Just so you do know, a couple of years ago, I was dating a girl for about 7 or 8 months and then went away for 3 months out of town. We had no problems at all when I moved away and it was good for us (although she didn't visit me which did kind of piss me off, but hey)

Anyways I dated her for almost 3 years until we recently broke up.