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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

How do you know when to make a move?

N2Deeep

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I have a problem with being assertive/aggressive in the escalation territory. I get too into my head and get busy over thinking what to do.. should I rub her leg, should I put my arm around her, should I "fill in the blank"

If Im just vibing and feeling good and me the girl havent gotten physical yet, what's a good template to keep in mind that can help me down this path. And I know it shouldnt be that hard, but being raised in the femcentric society and wanting to be a gentleman, I overtry not to come across as if all I want is sex (even when that is the case)
 

Serenity

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You're telling me you get too into your head and over-thinking things, then you ask what you should do. It does not help your issue to give you more things to think about.

What you gotta do is to forget being a gentleman, it's holding you back too much. Go be more proactive and assertive, don't be afraid to hit a few boundaries. When you have tried that for a while it's easier to gauge how far you can go. Being too aggressive will fail, but so will being too passive as you probably are now. The magic happens somewhere in between, you can't find that sweetspot if you remain on the far passive side.

Someone has to do something at one point if something is to happen. More often than not the man has to take those steps. Next time you think of physically escalating and wonder if you're gonna take the step, assume she's as passive as yourself and if you don't then you might as well have stayed home because nothing will happen.

I know this from personal experience and it's very true.
 

Trump

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I have a problem with being assertive/aggressive in the escalation territory. I get too into my head and get busy over thinking what to do.. should I rub her leg, should I put my arm around her, should I "fill in the blank"

If Im just vibing and feeling good and me the girl havent gotten physical yet, what's a good template to keep in mind that can help me down this path. And I know it shouldnt be that hard, but being raised in the femcentric society and wanting to be a gentleman, I overtry not to come across as if all I want is sex (even when that is the case)
You should tell her "You got about 58 seconds to sleep with me before I change my mind."

Come on bro, this is not brain surgery. You have to feel it. If she is getting turned on you move in, if she is not, step your game up. But if you have trouble reading the body language and non verbal signals a 23 year old girl is giving you, people in real life are going to make your head spin and destroy you. o_O
 

daddymonsterpoodle

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When you feel like you want to, do it.

And do it with confidence. Work on the assumption that she is up for it, and she probably will be.
 

N2Deeep

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You should tell her "You got about 58 seconds to sleep with me before I change my mind."

Come on bro, this is not brain surgery. You have to feel it. If she is getting turned on you move in, if she is not, step your game up. But if you have trouble reading the body language and non verbal signals a 23 year old girl is giving you, people in real life are going to make your head spin and destroy you. o_O
Im 44 and my head is already spinning bro... but thanks
 

N2Deeep

Don Juan
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You're telling me you get too into your head and over-thinking things, then you ask what you should do. It does not help your issue to give you more things to think about.

What you gotta do is to forget being a gentleman, it's holding you back too much. Go be more proactive and assertive, don't be afraid to hit a few boundaries. When you have tried that for a while it's easier to gauge how far you can go. Being too aggressive will fail, but so will being too passive as you probably are now. The magic happens somewhere in between, you can't find that sweetspot if you remain on the far passive side.

Someone has to do something at one point if something is to happen. More often than not the man has to take those steps. Next time you think of physically escalating and wonder if you're gonna take the step, assume she's as passive as yourself and if you don't then you might as well have stayed home because nothing will happen.

I know this from personal experience and it's very true.
thanks Grewd.. that helps
 
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