"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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How do you know she is the one?

apprentice

Don Juan
Joined
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I've been in a relationship for 2 years. She is from a conservative country. In her culture women and men aren't supposed to live together before getting married. We've been living together for the last year. Due to immigration and visa restrictions we have to make a decision regarding whether we should stay together or not. Staying together means that we will probably have to get married.

She is now pushing to get married. The problem is I don't know if I'm ready. I know I could live with her but I'm not sure if that is enough. I do love her, but it feels more like I love her like a sister. I don't want her to go back to her country and be ridiculed by family, friends and other judgmental people because we have lived together without being married. I should say that she has had several boyfriends before me and was close to getting married but she said she wasn't ready. To save her from ridicule would mean me sacrificing my freedom and other dreams.

I felt like I haven't lived enough of the single life yet. The curiousity is killing me. What do I do?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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azanon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2006
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There is no such thing as the one. But if you have to ask, she isn't it. My recommendation for marriage is if you don't want it, in and of yourself, don't do it.
 

blackbelt2k

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 4, 2007
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NJ / NYC
take a step back and read your own post. Sometimes thats all it takes. Let me sum it up for you:

1) She has had bf's before you but wasnt ready for marriage. I bet she told you she wasn't ready then. Whats the first rule you learn at this site? WOMEN LIE TO MAKE THEMSELVES LOOK INNOCENT. Truth is she probably pushed them, and they didn't buy into it.

2) The number one man we hate at this site is captain save a h0. Which you are being turned into. What would captain save a h0 do in your situation?? why he'd do exactly as your doing, contemplating this girls proposal.
 
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