Hey guys,
First a little background: some 3 months ago i just ended a LTR, things were pretty much a wreck and it would have ended, but the way it ended kinda pissed me off, we were living in different countries for a few months period until july this year, but at some point she just terminated contact without notice, it threw me off balance for a while (I was thinking something bad had happened to her, as she wasnt contacting her family either, eventually there was this terrible day were she wasn´t showing to her work for a few days and we had to send the police to check on her - a real drama fVcked up thing) but afterwards I was really pissed and assumed things were over and cut off contact too. A few months have passed and even though I still think about what i left behind a lot and have some sh!tty days every now and then i´ve been managing to move on with my life and im pretty much enjoying myself and improving myself, actually i feel i´m a much better person now than when i was with her.
Anyways, 3 months have passed without any contact (except a very short and cut to the point mail i sent her about she returning my stuff she kept at her place) and today she calls and leaves a message telling me she was around and we should talk to arrange the way she would return my stuff, I called her, tell her that the best way is for her to send it to me in a mail package, she complains is to expensive, i say i'll pay for the expenses for her not to worry, then she talks about the cats we had together (one is mine) and says she can´t mail the cat, i say for her to leave it at her mother´s place (i´m on very good terms with her mother still) and ill pick it. By now she is sounding really confused, and making her "poor girl" voice, so i ask her if she has anything else she wants to discuss, she´s silent for a while, so i say i gotta go because there´s somewhere i need to be, she then complains that i asked if she wanted to discuss anything but then i dont give her the time to (still with her poor girl voice), and I tell her to call me another time or email me and say goodbye.
Well, i was rough, i´m still pissed off even though i wish i wasn´t and would just not worry about it, but i think i did what i needed to do... when i consider all that happened and that i´m better off without her i´m sure it was the right thing.
The problem now is that a part of me started to see this as a power game where i now have the better hand... and is thinking - and hoping - she will break and come back for more. This is really a path i dont wanna go down, its not healthy, but i´m having a real hard time getting over this... i guess my question is: "how do you kill hope of fixing something that has been a wreck for a while?", hope is awfull, it can really suck your energy like a black hole... i´ve been there before but i was clueless then, now i know that if i want to i can play her and there´s a very good chance i would get the better end of the deal. Unfortunatelly this would be mostly another dead end... this is fVcked up.
First a little background: some 3 months ago i just ended a LTR, things were pretty much a wreck and it would have ended, but the way it ended kinda pissed me off, we were living in different countries for a few months period until july this year, but at some point she just terminated contact without notice, it threw me off balance for a while (I was thinking something bad had happened to her, as she wasnt contacting her family either, eventually there was this terrible day were she wasn´t showing to her work for a few days and we had to send the police to check on her - a real drama fVcked up thing) but afterwards I was really pissed and assumed things were over and cut off contact too. A few months have passed and even though I still think about what i left behind a lot and have some sh!tty days every now and then i´ve been managing to move on with my life and im pretty much enjoying myself and improving myself, actually i feel i´m a much better person now than when i was with her.
Anyways, 3 months have passed without any contact (except a very short and cut to the point mail i sent her about she returning my stuff she kept at her place) and today she calls and leaves a message telling me she was around and we should talk to arrange the way she would return my stuff, I called her, tell her that the best way is for her to send it to me in a mail package, she complains is to expensive, i say i'll pay for the expenses for her not to worry, then she talks about the cats we had together (one is mine) and says she can´t mail the cat, i say for her to leave it at her mother´s place (i´m on very good terms with her mother still) and ill pick it. By now she is sounding really confused, and making her "poor girl" voice, so i ask her if she has anything else she wants to discuss, she´s silent for a while, so i say i gotta go because there´s somewhere i need to be, she then complains that i asked if she wanted to discuss anything but then i dont give her the time to (still with her poor girl voice), and I tell her to call me another time or email me and say goodbye.
Well, i was rough, i´m still pissed off even though i wish i wasn´t and would just not worry about it, but i think i did what i needed to do... when i consider all that happened and that i´m better off without her i´m sure it was the right thing.
The problem now is that a part of me started to see this as a power game where i now have the better hand... and is thinking - and hoping - she will break and come back for more. This is really a path i dont wanna go down, its not healthy, but i´m having a real hard time getting over this... i guess my question is: "how do you kill hope of fixing something that has been a wreck for a while?", hope is awfull, it can really suck your energy like a black hole... i´ve been there before but i was clueless then, now i know that if i want to i can play her and there´s a very good chance i would get the better end of the deal. Unfortunatelly this would be mostly another dead end... this is fVcked up.
