How do you just do "no contact" without letting the person know why?

[Trump]

I know I'm being a butthurt *****, but this really hurts.

I met a girl. We had a great connection. I devirginized her. I didn't text too often or whatever, we're both very busy with school and work. But we did talk a lot, shared a lot of laughs, hung out a lot, had sex a few times, she told me some of her secrets, let me in on her insecurities.

She went on about how special I was and she was saving her virginity for a guy just like me, and its "so special" that she feels comfortable around me, cause she never felt comfortable around anyone before... We had a real connection.

Hmm....I'd be VERY careful right here, sounds like she's laying it on REAL THICK. As soon as a girl says stuff like this, the game playing has begun. I'd rather her spend some money on you rather than all these heartfelt words

Out of nowhere, she just decides to stop texting me...

Guys get confused about this, a girl almost NEVER stops contacting you "out of nowhere." Her interest level was going down down down while yours was staying high. It finally bottomed out and there was no reason for her to contact you

I noticed this... Didn't quite understand it.. But knew what to do... I stopped texting too... Until several days went by and I asked her if she's alive.. She texted back "yea yeah just busy with exams don't worry" So I said okay...

A few days later I texted her again... No answer... She's a "texter" there is no reason for her not to answer... A few more days pass by, and I realize she lost all interest for some reason, and texted her "I'm going to assume we're done. Have a nice life."

WHOA bro. You are way too emotionally involved with his chick. Look how she's got you reacting to her without her even doing anything. She has total control and power over you. You got to improve your game and get a backbone.

What's killing me is that one minute she's lovey dovey and telling me I'm special, and the next she doesn't even have the courtesy to say goodbye to me when she wants it to be over? She just stops texting, like I'm some kind of stranger?

I noticed she changed her facebook picture a few times since (we're not friends on facebook, cause I just re-activated mine shortly after this to keep in touch with classmates).... And for some reason it just killed me when I saw it. Like she's living her life completely normal, as if I just don't matter and never existed.

What kind of person does that? When I ended it with a girl, I always let her know it was over. Its just basic courtesy.
\

There are no rules or courtesy when it comes to girls or life. Girls don't care about you FEEL or your SELF ESTEEM, they want to see what you can do for them. If you have to learn the basics and get some confidence, go get it and THEN ask her out.

 

[quaker]

Yeah... They basically go by how they feel at the very moment. That's why the opposite also applies. They could not have any interest in you one day, and treat you like crap - then be all over you the next; completely obsessed and super nice. Completely out of no where. Or, you could be pining after them forever - only to be rejected - then suddenly find them loving you like no other. Or, they could not want to be around you, and find you boring - until you make them excited and horny. Then, their mood switches just like that. Or, you could be dating them, and making them super excited, but once they get bored even just once - they fall off the face of the earth - like you never mattered. The back and forth is constant, and there are several more examples for which this applies.

It's all about how they feel RIGHT NOW. They can pull a 180 very quickly, and turn right back again - depending on how they feel, or rather, how YOU make them feel. Don't invest too much of yourself too soon. You are always going to be the best thing ever for the first while. This can and does change at the drop of a hat. Don't make anything of it. Just do you, and keep the game where its supposed to be at all times. Don't stress or worry about this, either, which coincides with not attaching yourself too soon, or falling for theirs. Just enjoy yourself for as long as it lasts.

Never assume feelings are permanent. They do change, and you have no control over it. Don't think back to how things USED to be, because the only thing that matters is right now. Always focus on the here and now, and understand that it might not last forever. Ergo, don't get attached too soon. Once feelings change - that's a wrap. Do NOT let their emotions run the show, or allow you to determine what you should or shouldn't do. Don't bounce back and forth and try winning them over, or any of that stuff. Don't lose yourself to them. It's just going to make you crazy and confused - because they're gonna be all over the place. The only thing you need to be focusing on is their interest level RIGHT NOW. Nothing else matters. You can't change what is already gone. Never rest on your laurels, and assume its smooth sailing just because they like you for a while.

I'm curious if you're referencing dating or long term relationships here (ones that have actually lasted a while.)

Because if this applies to most women, then what's the damned point? get involved only for it to be a matter of time before they lose all interest?

I'm not sure I buy the whole "when feelings change that's a wrap" thing, because if the model you're proposing here is accurate, that is, that their feelings wax and wane (and they do of course), why would you give up the second interest goes down, when it might go back up again at a later point.

Guys get back with their exes all the time, and things get worked out in current relationships, flames get rekindled, etc. No contact for a while seems to do this a lot.

You're basically saying never to try for a girl once interest drops....even in a long term relationship that might've lasted years?

 

[floydb25]

I'm curious if you're referencing dating or long term relationships here (ones that have actually lasted a while.)

Because if this applies to most women, then what's the damned point? get involved only for it to be a matter of time before they lose all interest?

I'm not sure I buy the whole "when feelings change that's a wrap" thing, because if the model you're proposing here is accurate, that is, that their feelings wax and wane (and they do of course), why would you give up the second interest goes down, when it might go back up again at a later point.

Guys get back with their exes all the time, and things get worked out in current relationships, flames get rekindled, etc. No contact for a while seems to do this a lot.

You're basically saying never to try for a girl once interest drops....even in a long term relationship that might've lasted years?

Definitely dating. Falling in love and being in a relationship for years is a whole 'nother story. But, people try to enter the relationship phase during the dating phase, and end up suprised when the girl is fickle and loses interest. That's because its infatuation, and feelings can change in an instant. You do not want to attach yourself too soon, and even anticipate that it won't last. Not a lot of people do that, and get caught flat-footed when feelings change during this time. They assume everything is all good, the girl is crazy about them - then, BOOM. Interest is gone. This is very normal, and common during the dating stage.

 

[PapiChulo]

Almost always another sausage(s) is involved either as a current opportunity or a future prospect. I don't believe women change their feelings spontaneously at all. It's the abundance of options and offers every day, the moment they see a better deal they feel resentment towards you and avoid you because you are basically a "ghost" to them now, an old, boring thing of the past. Be aware of your competition and stay on top at all times and dump her as$ before she does. They probably feel guilty about this and do all the mushy act before the end. The three stages: Guilt, resentment, coldness or hate. Stupid hoes.

 

[SMS 48]

***** keeps viewing my profile.

We're on a social networking site which allows you to see who's been viewing my profile, and she viewed me last week.

I ignored that. A week later, under users viewing me, there she is again.

B itch why the fukk are you e-checking my sh!t? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT WENT NO CONTACT WITHOUT SO MUCH AS AN EXPLANATION OR EVEN A GOODBYE YOU DUMB C U NT. FUKK YOU.

/rant

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

9 times out of 10 there was another guy in the background you didn't know about. Women will ignore you if a new shiny toy comes along they like more.

 

[self-respect]

***** keeps viewing my profile.

We're on a social networking site which allows you to see who's been viewing my profile, and she viewed me last week.

I ignored that. A week later, under users viewing me, there she is again.

B itch why the fukk are you e-checking my sh!t? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT WENT NO CONTACT WITHOUT SO MUCH AS AN EXPLANATION OR EVEN A GOODBYE YOU DUMB C U NT. FUKK YOU.

/rant

Read Rollo Tomasi's blog. I've set it as my homepage. All this comes off as hypergamy. You were her first and though she probably had strong feelings for you because of it, like Pringles once you pop the fun don't stop. She's entered the world of sex, and is exploring her options to get the most fun and best emotional rush she can, making up for lost time. I have ZERO doubt your princess is in another guy's castle. Otherwise interest isn't dropped that suddenly. Don't believe that women are more virtuous or the "fairer" sex. They're just like men - the minute something better comes around, they're after it. As they should be. I have no problem with anyone going after what makes them happiest. If I'm banging a HB7 and I thought I had a shot with an HB9, you'd damn well believe I would take a go at it. It's only dating. It's not an exclusive relationship. Don't suffocate her or yourself.

As for checking your profile, be okay with it. People stalk people they don't even know on Facebook all the time, so of course someone would check her "ex's" profile a month later. She's seeing how you're dealing with the fall out. If you're getting along well and living your life for you, having fun, that would make her more interested, a bit regretful and who knows, she might change her mind. Girls are fickle like that. I've banged one who I chased for 4 months as an AFC, she LJBF'ed me and I said fine but stopped considering her a part of my life and it showed that I was unaffected. 2 months later, she texted me saying she had made a mistake and she was the one who invited herself over later that week. She did all the work then. Let this one go and don't let it take over your life. Don't be emotional. Do your own thing and become the best guy around so that you make it easier on yourself to attract other women and also keep them around.

 

[MM92]

9 times out of 10 there was another guy in the background you didn't know about. Women will ignore you if a new shiny toy comes along they like more.

Definitely. No doubt someone who she feels is better than you has come along and now she's not interested. Just go NC with her and save any respect she has left for you. You don't need her.

 

[bigneil]

9 times out of 10 there was another guy in the background you didn't know about. Women will ignore you if a new shiny toy comes along they like more.

This is especially true (as Doc Love says) for the 18-22 year old range. But remember: it's out of sight out of mind with them, so it doesn't mean their interest dropped for you as much as they are simply preoccupied. If we were surrounded by beautiful women it might happen to us also.

 

[SMS 48]

Okay guys, I want some advice.

This is the 3rd or 4th time she viewed my profile (on the social networking site we're on) since I made this thread. I don't know what her problem is and why she keeps viewing it. She dropped me. She didn't tell me or give an explanation. She didn't even fukcing say goodbye. Yet she views my profile. Why?? I'm never on the main page, so she had to have specifically looked for me.

Anyways, I don't want her back (seriously, I hate her). But I do want answers. I want some damn closure.

So given that my goal is to get some closure, what should I message her with?

Before you respond please understand that I may not take your advice as golden. I will consider it, but it does have to make sense to me for me to send it. Remember that my goal, is to get answers and not look like a little bytch in the process.

 

[sportguy]

Okay guys, I want some advice.

This is the 3rd or 4th time she viewed my profile (on the social networking site we're on) since I made this thread. I don't know what her problem is and why she keeps viewing it. She dropped me. She didn't tell me or give an explanation. She didn't even fukcing say goodbye. Yet she views my profile. Why?? I'm never on the main page, so she had to have specifically looked for me.

Anyways, I don't want her back (seriously, I hate her). But I do want answers. I want some damn closure.

So given that my goal is to get some closure, what should I message her with?

Before you respond please understand that I may not take your advice as golden. I will consider it, but it does have to make sense to me for me to send it. Remember that my goal, is to get answers and not look like a little bytch in the process.

Forget about closure and just move on already. I know what it feels like, and the more you think about it, the more it's going to bother you.

 

[SMS 48]

Forget about closure and just move on already. I know what it feels like, and the more you think about it, the more it's going to bother you.

But if I get closure it might be easier to stop thinking about her. I don't want her, but the not knowing what the hell happened thing is killing me, especially when the dumb bytch keeps viewing my profile.

 

[ezio]

But if I get closure it might be easier to stop thinking about her. I don't want her, but the not knowing what the hell happened thing is killing me, especially when the dumb bytch keeps viewing my profile.

This ain't no hollywood movie, this is life, bro you don't always get the luxury of closure. you keep asking for closure while your girl is getting the ****ed by some other guy lol. isn't that closure enough for you? the only reason you're still hang up over this girl is because you're still single. Now if you're serious about getting closure, why don't you call her or send her a message asking to know why she dumped you ass. See how long it takes her to loose any remaining respect she had for you. i bet she and her current bf plus all her friends will have a good laugh when she tells your pathetic story to them

 

[cablecow15]

Ive had multiple girls i really liked suddenly delete all their online profiles and not respond to my texts , and then make new profiles that i happened to notice , they do some stupid crap

 

[MM92]

Forget about closure and just move on already. I know what it feels like, and the more you think about it, the more it's going to bother you.

THIS X1000000. Trust me, I know. Just move on, as hard as it is. You're not doing yourself any favours.

 

[blueeyedgent]

**** dude you are really hung up on this trashy *****. She's taking some other guy's **** in every orifice, is that closure enough? :box:

She's checking your online profile to see if you've replaced her with something better. I guarantee if you put some photos of yourself with a higher value woman than her up there that you would hear from her again...

 

[Zarky]

Usually when a girl goes NC on you, it's cause she's found a long-term-potential guy and you've literally dropped out of her mind. If you are SURE she's still looking at your profile then it might be to manipulate you. Either way, here's your closure:

the b*tch is nuts

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

You're going to look like a total b1tch boy if you send her a message seeking closure. Closure is for AFC's and women after they get pump and dumped by the bad boy. Forget closure. If you try to seek closure all you'll get is w0manese. The posters here have already told you she's either batsh1t crazy or seeing someone else or a combo of both.

 

[SMS 48]

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE SO FAR

I listened to you. I really did. Your visuals of her laughing at me while getting ****ed down by her new man completely repelled me from the idea and I did not message her.

However,

She fukking texted me "Hi.." Who's the beta now?

I don't know, considering I'm still upset over the classlessness in which she ended it I'm assuming its still me (no sarcasm). But considering she came to me this changes things.

I want to respond, because I think any conversation will lead to an explanation on her part. She knows I'm the type of guy who calls people out on shyt when they're wrong. Even if I just respond with "wutup" I think it would lead to an explanation on her part. On the other hand, I don't want to sound bitter, but I also don't want her to think she's off the hook in case she pretends like she didn't do anything wrong.

 

[zorg198]

don't you dare to respond!!! move on with your life and don't give her the satisfaction..