How do you interpret when a girl says, "I wanna, but we should date/hang out first"

[squirrels]

Setting up the situation:

-You're at a club
-You meet a girl, chat a little, dance, whatever
-Things start getting hot (tongue kissing, feeling up, etc)
-You know she's getting hot
-You isolate her and go for it that night.


Then she says something like, "I'm very sexual/would do so many nasty things to you/etc, BUT we should hang out a little bit first/get to know each other/go on some dates/hang out, and then we can... "

What does this MEAN to you?

-She's trying to bargain you into a commitment, one you may not be ready for.

-She may not be after any real commitment, but she's overcome by your DJ-ness and wants to keep you around so she can keep her options open (fling, F-buddy, STR, LTR, etc)

-She wants to f--k, but is looking for a way to satisfy her guilty social conscience.

I mean, is this EVER a good offer to take? So far I've rejected it...it seems too much like, "You give me what I want, and I'll give you what you want," like some kind of unnatural bargain. But now when I think about it, I'm wondering if it would be possible to hook up an F-buddy or low-commitment girlfriend like this as well.

Would you, as a REAL Don Juan, ever accept such an offer? Is it a test? It seems like if you refuse, the interaction ends and you never get what you're REALLY after...but does accepting put you in a bad position?

 

[aguynamedwill]

it can be a good thing to wait

she might be trying to get over the slut-factor.

or, she might be trying to make sure you're the kind of guy she would sleep with. She has to make sure she doesn't sleep with a guy who will knock her up and then ditch her. Or give her chlamydia. This is what it means to me. And I'd rather have a selective chick, myself.

Honestly, if she's saying that, ask her to hang out. Push the sexual envelope, but don't get nasty if she resists. Just keep doing what she's allowing, occasionally trying to advance. They take longer to warm up then we do.

I don't think its a bargaining tool at all. She just wants to be safe. And that's a good thing.

 

[legolas]

Dude, this SCREAMS sh*t test to me!!!!

Read Fingz report on seducing the party girl. He's got it made. If you know she wants it, but she's pulling back, it's time for you to do some pulling back. If you're completely detached from the situation, it shuouldn't matter whether you bone her that night or not. That attitude should get her to either piss off or to bone you.

 

[princelydeeds]

every chick ive ever boned within the first week has said that exact same thing. Its just the ANTI- Slut defense. Don't worry keep going forward. I simply tell them that im not the kind of guy to hit it and quit it, Id rather stay and play. Works every time!

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by princelydeeds
every chick ive ever boned within the first week has said that exact same thing. Its just the ANTI- Slut defense. Don't worry keep going forward. I simply tell them that im not the kind of guy to hit it and quit it, Id rather stay and play. Works every time!

So at that point, do you just get the digits and walk, and call her back later?

 

[princelydeeds]

Originally posted by squirrels
So at that point, do you just get the digits and walk, and call her back later?

Actually Im usually saying that when Im about to pull her panties down.

Your original post was dealing with trying bring the broad back to your place after things had gotten hot and heavy. Women change from minute to minute and day to day. If she doesnt come home with you, you may not see her again. So try hard to get her home without sounding desperate or whiny. Tell her you just wanna spend time with her and how great it would be to talk/hold her/ spend more time with her. I know this will offend the "sensitive/LTR guys on this board, but start lying your butt off say what you have to say to get her home with you.

This is where great conversation skill comes into place. This is why i think people should practice on fat chicks and average looking chicks. You gain the confidence and convo skills for the HB8.5+'s from talking to less than perfect chicks.

I would Get the number but id wait till I knew for sure she wasn't coming home with me. She may have a BF on top of the fact that women always have sum other drama going on in their lives, so I live by the motto you only have one chance. She may not return your calls the next day, so get what you can right then and there. If you bring her home and tap it right you have alot better chance of hearing from her again.

 

[b's nuts]

two steps forward, one step back. You just got to get her going more. when you are getting a girl horny, you need to build it up. I like to go a little bit further, like rubbing her up and down, and then sliding your hand down her pants, briefly, and then go back to just making out. you do this and eventually they will go all the way. Don't pay attention to what she says, unless its "no", but pay attention to what she does. She might say she doesn't want to fvck, well then why is she still dry humping? Two steps forward and one step back, get her heated up, and she will let you in those panties.

 

[squirrels]

So what you're saying is to be open to the possibility of spending time with her in the future (dates, hanging out, etc), but keep pushing the intimacy envelope as far as possible that night, as well.

I've always approached dating the same way girls approach sex. If they try to get me to agree to dating when I first meet them, I hit them with, "But I hardly KNOW you." LOL

It's weird how opposite we are. For a guy, he can get the sex right away, but has to test a girl to see if she's worthy of a relationship or friendship. Whereas women, they'll go for the relationship right away, but make you wait for the sex. It's laughable.

Something about telling a girl I want to spend time with her, just to get in her panties, kinda rubs me the wrong way.

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

The Art of Persuasion.

example:

You: So let go have some fun

Her: I don't know if I should because I want to get to know you first.

You: Let me ask you something. If you feel that you could do things without feeling guilty, would you do it?

Her: Maybe.

You: Then with that in mind and from what I see, you are a very mature woman, right?

Her: Right

You: So being the very mature woman that you are, decisionmaking to do what you want to do should not conflict with how you feel. You feel me?

Her: yeah, I feel ya.

You: Then let's go have fun then and by the way, I 'll make you breakfast in the morning.


When you turn the situation around to her making the decision by putting the ball in her court, you have a better chance of scoring if you make her feel that her decision is a mature decision that she should not feel guilty about.

 

[princelydeeds]

Congratulations, MS Eyecandie4ya that may be the first good advice from a woman on this board. Not too bad, Im impressed.

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

Originally posted by princelydeeds
Congratulations, MS Eyecandie4ya that may be the first good advice from a woman on this board. Not too bad, Im impressed.

I'M A MAN!


Oh hell nawh! Don't let the name fool ya, bruh! Women call good-looking guys eyecandy also.

Sorry to disappoint cha

 

[princelydeeds]

My apologies, Im sorry no disrespect meant. Please excuse me. Again, I offer my most sincere and humble apologies, I wasn't even trying to flirt, my bad.

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

No animosity here. Apology accepted.

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by princelydeeds
I wasn't even trying to flirt, my bad.

hhahhahahahahaha

 

[Player_Supreme]

1. Its called a contract. She is giving you "her" contract.

2. It's also a form of a test. If you accept you fail.

3. This also means you didn't spit your game strong enough:

women want to know that you will be around in the morning and thereafter if they give it up to you. for a woman having sex with a man is so much more emotional than it is for us dudes. by her having sex she is investing that you will not dog her out afterwards and that you will respect her for doing it with you.

you need to get around this condition by reassuring her that you are interested in her as a possible long term gig or atleast something more than just a casual shag.

I have run into this one pretty often and it's fun talking them literally out of their panties. This is the most exciting part of the chase, when you have to outsmart them and use your words to convince her to give it up. And you gotta be a better actor than they are to make her believe it.

good luck

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by Eyecandie4ya
The Art of Persuasion.

example:

You: So let go have some fun

Her: I don't know if I should because I want to get to know you first.

You: Let me ask you something. If you feel that you could do things without feeling guilty, would you do it?

Her: Maybe.

You: Then with that in mind and from what I see, you are a very mature woman, right?

Her: Right

You: So being the very mature woman that you are, decisionmaking to do what you want to do should not conflict with how you feel. You feel me?

Her: yeah, I feel ya.

You: Then let's go have fun then and by the way, I 'll make you breakfast in the morning.


When you turn the situation around to her making the decision by putting the ball in her court, you have a better chance of scoring if you make her feel that her decision is a mature decision that she should not feel guilty about.

Yeah!

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
This is the most exciting part of the chase, when you have to outsmart them and use your words to convince her to give it up. And you gotta be a better actor than they are to make her believe it.

So deception is pretty much the only way, huh?

This bothers me A LOT. I want to be remembered as the cute guy she had hot sex with one night, instead of the @sshole who tricked her into believing he liked her so he could f--k her.

 

[princelydeeds]

Originally posted by squirrels
So deception is pretty much the only way, huh?

This bothers me A LOT. I want to be remembered as the cute guy she had hot sex with one night, instead of the @sshole who tricked her into believing he liked her so he could f--k her.

I think you are making this into a black or white issue. I see it more as shades of grey. I guess a lie is a lie but I see it more as politics. When in Iowa talk about all your gonna do for corn farmers and when campaigning in Idaho talk about all your going to do for potato farmers.

Its like being a good salesman. Sometimes people don't realise they need something until they hear your sales pitch. If its hot and heavy, she wants to come home with you, your job is to make her secure in her feelings. AS a good sales person your convincing her its ok to act on her feelings/ emotions. You don't have to lie if its not comfortable to you, but while you're being the noble saint, she'll be screaming my name.

I think you are equating getting in her panties, with not liking her. If you never wanna see her again thats cool. Have you ever thought that you may actually want to see her again or that you may really want to spend time with her? I consider sex to be spending quality time with her. So its not really a lie.
You may actually really like the chick in the future, but right now its 2 AM and your d!ck is hard. She made it go up so its her job to get it back down. You have to say what you have to say to get her to do her job. Just consider yourself a good manager.

 

[italostud]

Originally posted by princelydeeds
I think you are making this into a black or white issue. I see it more as shades of grey. I guess a lie is a lie but I see it more as politics. When in Iowa talk about all your gonna do for corn farmers and when campaigning in Idaho talk about all your going to do for potato farmers.

Its like being a good salesman. Sometimes people don't realise they need something until they hear your sales pitch. If its hot and heavy, she wants to come home with you, your job is to make her secure in her feelings. AS a good sales person your convincing her its ok to act on her feelings/ emotions. You don't have to lie if its not comfortable to you, but while you're being the noble saint, she'll be screaming my name.

I think you are equating getting in her panties, with not liking her. If you never wanna see her again thats cool. Have you ever thought that you may actually want to see her again or that you may really want to spend time with her? I consider sex to be spending quality time with her. So its not really a lie.
You may actually really like the chick in the future, but right now its 2 AM and your d!ck is hard. She made it go up so its her job to get it back down. You have to say what you have to say to get her to do her job. Just consider yourself a good manager.

That's some good ass advice.