How do you handle girls who've never had a boyfriend?

[beatoven]

Seems like most of the stuff on this site pertains to women who are "experienced" and know the rules of dating.

But what about the totally clueless ones who've never really dated, never had a boyfriend, and don't know the dating etiquette? The DJ stuff works great on social women, but with the reserved, shy ones it's like hitting a brick wall.

Are they a lost cause? There's a real cutie who seems really clueless when it comes to dating, and I'm on the verge of nexting her because she doesn't know how to handle my interest.


Thoughts?

 

[TheDon1]

I'm dealing with one right now. See my bible study church girl thread.

You did not put any info about your particular girl so can't help much. All you said was that she is shy and you want her.

 

[beatoven]

I'm dealing with one right now. See my bible study church girl thread.

You did not put any info about your particular girl so can't help much. All you said was that she is shy and you want her.

I actually read your thread before making this one. Your situation is similar to mine, except your girl is getting the hint. Mine has her head in the clouds or something.



Well, let's see...

She takes about 10 minutes to reply to texts. I'm pretty sure she's really nervous and thinking through everything she types. Once I got sick of the long pauses, and called her right after she texted me. It rang a while and I got her voicemail. I texted her back and she replied like the phone call never happened.

Same thing happened after I called her out of the blue and left a voicemail. No call back. In fact the only time she ever answered was right after I got her number and she didn't know who was calling. That convo was short because I woke her up (lol) and I was on break at work.

She scopes me out and gives me these intense, lustful looks. No other guy gets that kind of attention from her. In fact her stare was the reason I went up and got her number.

She's really busy. She works a lot, and her major requires a lot of study time. So far she's declined 2 date opportunities due to work/studying, both of which I know are legit excuses. However, I don't know if she understands that if she wants to spend time with me, she needs to at least counteroffer.


Now I'm not a ***** or AFC. I don't call or text a lot, I'm pretty busy myself. Virtually every girl, including the ones that weren't even that interested, were willing to meet up on my terms or negotiate. This one is different, and it's frustrating me. I look at her like a challenge, and most girls would have been nexted by now. Yet in a weird way her cluelessness turns me on.

Some of you will say she's not interested, but my gut tells me she is and doesn't know how to express it.


Any thoughts?

 

[SchoolBoy]

She's really busy. She works a lot, and her major requires a lot of study time. So far she's declined 2 date opportunities due to work/studying, both of which I know are legit excuses. However, I don't know if she understands that if she wants to spend time with me, she needs to at least counteroffer.

Does she have time to eat? If she has time to eat, then she has time to have dinner with you..

I think even though she has work/school, she would find time to see you or at least call you back if her interest was there. you're gut feeling tells you shes interested, but her actions prove otherwise... sometimes our gut feelings are wrong and her interest in you may not be romance.

 

[beatoven]

Well I just nexted her. Told her it looked like things wouldn't work out, that I had wanted to hang out with her, and it was nice chatting with her.

Her reply? "I'm really sorry"

WTF.

 

[SchoolBoy]

yea she wasn't so interested... oh well.. plenty more fish is the sea

 

[Ddon1]

Oh man you just retreated from the battlefield.

"She's really busy. She works a lot, and her major requires a lot of study time."

"I'm really sorry." For herself? She has no confidence. Exploit that.

They all come up with excuses because they are programmed to. Ignore it, don't ask, tell her this is going to happen.

Since the txting incident, all you can do is wait and see if she bounces back.


Here is what I would do: pretend the below never happened, act distant and polite at same time. No real interest in her until she shows interest.

Her "Im really sorry" was her accepting your defeat. She just might bounce back if you're polite but show disinterest.

 

[beatoven]

Well I'll see what happens. But I'm not going to dwell on it. If she comes bac, that's awesome.

In the mean time, I'm going to exploit the 4:1 girl to guy ratio on my campus

 

[Ddon1]

of course, throw out more bait in other ponds in the meantime.

treat her like an acquaintance, a distant relative, show no interest but use manners. see what happens.

 

[beatoven]

Her "Im really sorry" was her accepting your defeat. She just might bounce back if you're polite but show disinterest.

I got the same "I'm sorry" the first time I asked her out. I think you're spot on with the confidence thing. It seems like the perfect explanation for her behavior.

Oddly enough just after I nexted her I realized I might have gotten somewhere if I'd simply arranged a time and place and told her to be there.

treat her like an acquaintance, a distant relative, show no interest but use manners. see what happens.

Well I'm pretty sure she's freaking out right now, since I doubt any guy has ever rejected her. Past experience has shown that when I reject a girl, it makes her crazy for me. Kinda weird how the female mind works.

So right now, it looks like I have the upper hand, and if I play it right (maybe tell her what's going to happen and when, instead of trying to set something up) I may get her after all?


Thanks.