How do you handle FLAKES

FMCSMT

Don Juan
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Aug 8, 2017
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#1
Not sure how to handle the flakes of the dating world. Example, last night I had no kids, girl calls, says she wants to come over, has a few things to do, texts me a couple nudes and then ends the night with a text saying “goodnight babe. Sweet dreams. Hope you’re not mad at me.”

My response was an AFC one I suppose - “Mad at you for being a flake? Nah” followed by “doesn’t surprise me”. She began texting back but I blocked her for the night. She is literally a mile away. We’ve been dating about a month and have sexed almost every time.

This morning I unblocked her. She sends a text saying “Morning babe, hope you have a great day”. In the afternoon I respond with “Lol you too”.

She’s been calling and texting this evening. I know I should act like I dgaf and date others, to which there are some but I know it would hurt her bad. So I’m kinda at a loss as to what to do.

Rollo says “turn off your phone from Friday to Sunday”. Her and I both have an open weekend with no work and I don’t have my kids.

I can’t stand this flaking bs. How do you deal with it. Every time she calls she wants to tell me about her day. I have stopped her mid conversation every time and said “I’m not your girlfriend. Talk to me about getting together or I have better things to do”.

Then she flakes. And calls and texts and so far I’m not responding or answering because I truly don’t know what to say. This type of stuff (flaking) does bother me and I feel like I may be showing that by not responding but I’m not sure what else to do.

It actually brings me down. It consumes my thoughts for a period of time during the day. And to be a mile away and flake for no reason...I just don’t have the answer here.

Any help would be great.
 

FMCSMT

Don Juan
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#3
Ignore her persistentance? Just up and sleep/go out with others? None of it feels right... though I get it...
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
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#5
Can't really win this situation if you're attached emotionally. Not sure if it's possible to detach unless you mean someone better and ime if you don't really love the Game that isn't likely when you are already attached, even to low value.
 

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Master Don Juan
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#7
Dont bother to reply, as a general rule if you need to write a thread here asking for suggestions, it means the girl is a headache to begin with.

Also such behaviour is not a good sign, an interested girl would never run the risk to piss off the man she wants, to confuse him or make him think that she needs to be dropped.
 

Glassguy

Master Don Juan
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#10
Listen......be a man and not a child. No reason to act immature because a woman flaked.

Just move on. Its that simple. If you want to smash her, invite her over. That's all that she is good for. If she flakes again, just never respond back to her.

First order of business is to start talking to more future plates. You need more options. When you have more options, flaking isnt a big deal as you just go down the line and one of them comes over or you meet up for a drink, however you normally set it up.
 
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EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
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#11
Flakes are completely unacceptable. You’re done with this woman. She only hits you up for attention. You handle this by establishing the frame from the beginning that she has to see you to get attention. No amount of texting these bitches will promote you from orbiter status.

Men, only entertain women that respect your frame. Don’t ever play on their terms.

You have two options here: delete her number / block her or go no contact.

If you go no contact, this is your only message next time she texts you:

“Is this your offer to make it up to me?”

She has to earn you back. Don’t expect an easy haul. You’re better off emotionally to just block her.
 

btownbuck2012

Master Don Juan
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#12
You’re reactions of indifference aren’t authentic. For example that “lol you too” text you sent hours later in the afternoon reeks of being butt hurt and trying to act like you dont care when you actually do.

I play no games with the phone. If I get a text from a girl and I see it when it comes through and have a moment to respond I respond instantly. Guys worry about seeming too needy by texting back right away. Who cares, just text when you can.

Same thing with waiting hours or days to text back to prove a point. Useless. You come across much different than you think you do by acting that way.

The same thing with unblocking her to see what she said. You’re already in her frame doing stuff like this whether you realize it or not. The time will come when she sniffs you out completely.
 

FMCSMT

Don Juan
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#13
Dont bother to reply, as a general rule if you need to write a thread here asking for suggestions, it means the girl is a headache to begin with.

This is correct. Unfortunate, but correct. So she has been a problem from the onset. I’ll leave it at that.
 

FMCSMT

Don Juan
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#15
Listen......be a man and not a child. No reason to act immature because a woman flaked.

Just move on. Its that simple. If you want to smash her, invite her over. That's all that she is good for. If she flakes again, just never respond back to her.

First order of business is to start talking to more future plates. You need more options. When you have more options, flaking isnt a big deal as you just go down the line and one of them comes over or you meet up for a drink, however you normally set it up.
She talks usually about becoming a family and wanting that. She has one younger child, I have 3 with joint custody. Only thing I was looking to blend is my D with her V.

I don’t normally see women much in the winter where I am and the activities I do. It is my fault. I’m in a good city for it. About 30 miles away from the metro in a college town (2 big ones). I just moved here about 5 months ago. It was a new build from a former marital home so I’ve only been settled about a month or so. This was my first dabble back into dating since I moved here, however I banged a few former girls since I moved in. I should say this girl was a new plate and the only option that I was entertaining.
 
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FMCSMT

Don Juan
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#16
You’re reactions of indifference aren’t authentic. For example that “lol you too” text you sent hours later in the afternoon reeks of being butt hurt and trying to act like you dont care when you actually do.

I play no games with the phone. If I get a text from a girl and I see it when it comes through and have a moment to respond I respond instantly. Guys worry about seeming too needy by texting back right away. Who cares, just text when you can.

Same thing with waiting hours or days to text back to prove a point. Useless. You come across much different than you think you do by acting that way.

The same thing with unblocking her to see what she said. You’re already in her frame doing stuff like this whether you realize it or not. The time will come when she sniffs you out completely.
I do care.

I like the idea of answering text when you can.

They generally think I don’t care to date them when I delay response, from what I’ve found. I still do it. The only purpose it really serves is eventual quietness from her end and some peace on my end, mixed with occasional curiosity. Most of them aren’t too bad, but they almost all do some disrespectful sh*t test. When they start pissing me off, I get quiet, delay responses for days sometimes.

But I do care. I assume that’s where I’m faulted?

Lastly, if I unblock someone, I can’t see what they’ve said to me. Whatever they sent is lost and I have not been able to ever see past correspondence from a blocked person if unblocked. Blocking is another topic for another thread and something I never knew about until just a few years ago.

And ya, she is sniffing me out. And obviously I’m giving off a scent so to speak. I got work to do.
 

FMCSMT

Don Juan
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Messages
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Age
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#17
I wanted to add that I do appreciate the advice here. It really helps me a lot to learn and grow in this arena of life. Also having experienced people like you that have gone through this stuff or maybe seen others go through it, sometimes the mind is foggy and it helps tremendously to have clearer minds to help. Thanks again.
 
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