How do you handle FLAKES

FMCSMT

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Not sure how to handle the flakes of the dating world. Example, last night I had no kids, girl calls, says she wants to come over, has a few things to do, texts me a couple nudes and then ends the night with a text saying “goodnight babe. Sweet dreams. Hope you’re not mad at me.”

My response was an AFC one I suppose - “Mad at you for being a flake? Nah” followed by “doesn’t surprise me”. She began texting back but I blocked her for the night. She is literally a mile away. We’ve been dating about a month and have sexed almost every time.

This morning I unblocked her. She sends a text saying “Morning babe, hope you have a great day”. In the afternoon I respond with “Lol you too”.

She’s been calling and texting this evening. I know I should act like I dgaf and date others, to which there are some but I know it would hurt her bad. So I’m kinda at a loss as to what to do.

Rollo says “turn off your phone from Friday to Sunday”. Her and I both have an open weekend with no work and I don’t have my kids.

I can’t stand this flaking bs. How do you deal with it. Every time she calls she wants to tell me about her day. I have stopped her mid conversation every time and said “I’m not your girlfriend. Talk to me about getting together or I have better things to do”.

Then she flakes. And calls and texts and so far I’m not responding or answering because I truly don’t know what to say. This type of stuff (flaking) does bother me and I feel like I may be showing that by not responding but I’m not sure what else to do.

It actually brings me down. It consumes my thoughts for a period of time during the day. And to be a mile away and flake for no reason...I just don’t have the answer here.

Any help would be great.
 

FMCSMT

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Ignore her persistentance? Just up and sleep/go out with others? None of it feels right... though I get it...
 

lamath

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Ignore her persistentance? Just up and sleep/go out with others? None of it feels right... though I get it...
Yes ignore she is playing with you thats disrespectful.
 

LARaiders85

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Can't really win this situation if you're attached emotionally. Not sure if it's possible to detach unless you mean someone better and ime if you don't really love the Game that isn't likely when you are already attached, even to low value.
 

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Who Dares Win

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Dont bother to reply, as a general rule if you need to write a thread here asking for suggestions, it means the girl is a headache to begin with.

Also such behaviour is not a good sign, an interested girl would never run the risk to piss off the man she wants, to confuse him or make him think that she needs to be dropped.
 

Glassguy

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Listen......be a man and not a child. No reason to act immature because a woman flaked.

Just move on. Its that simple. If you want to smash her, invite her over. That's all that she is good for. If she flakes again, just never respond back to her.

First order of business is to start talking to more future plates. You need more options. When you have more options, flaking isnt a big deal as you just go down the line and one of them comes over or you meet up for a drink, however you normally set it up.
 

EyeBRollin

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Flakes are completely unacceptable. You’re done with this woman. She only hits you up for attention. You handle this by establishing the frame from the beginning that she has to see you to get attention. No amount of texting these bitches will promote you from orbiter status.

Men, only entertain women that respect your frame. Don’t ever play on their terms.

You have two options here: delete her number / block her or go no contact.

If you go no contact, this is your only message next time she texts you:

“Is this your offer to make it up to me?”

She has to earn you back. Don’t expect an easy haul. You’re better off emotionally to just block her.
 

btownbuck2012

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You’re reactions of indifference aren’t authentic. For example that “lol you too” text you sent hours later in the afternoon reeks of being butt hurt and trying to act like you dont care when you actually do.

I play no games with the phone. If I get a text from a girl and I see it when it comes through and have a moment to respond I respond instantly. Guys worry about seeming too needy by texting back right away. Who cares, just text when you can.

Same thing with waiting hours or days to text back to prove a point. Useless. You come across much different than you think you do by acting that way.

The same thing with unblocking her to see what she said. You’re already in her frame doing stuff like this whether you realize it or not. The time will come when she sniffs you out completely.
 

FMCSMT

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Dont bother to reply, as a general rule if you need to write a thread here asking for suggestions, it means the girl is a headache to begin with.

This is correct. Unfortunate, but correct. So she has been a problem from the onset. I’ll leave it at that.
 

FMCSMT

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Yes, I would next her. Sending nudes and then not coming over is an unpardonable sin!
Feels like a slap in the face... she did call twice the next day. I never replied in anyway. I think that was 2 days ago.
 

FMCSMT

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Listen......be a man and not a child. No reason to act immature because a woman flaked.

Just move on. Its that simple. If you want to smash her, invite her over. That's all that she is good for. If she flakes again, just never respond back to her.

First order of business is to start talking to more future plates. You need more options. When you have more options, flaking isnt a big deal as you just go down the line and one of them comes over or you meet up for a drink, however you normally set it up.
She talks usually about becoming a family and wanting that. She has one younger child, I have 3 with joint custody. Only thing I was looking to blend is my D with her V.

I don’t normally see women much in the winter where I am and the activities I do. It is my fault. I’m in a good city for it. About 30 miles away from the metro in a college town (2 big ones). I just moved here about 5 months ago. It was a new build from a former marital home so I’ve only been settled about a month or so. This was my first dabble back into dating since I moved here, however I banged a few former girls since I moved in. I should say this girl was a new plate and the only option that I was entertaining.
 
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FMCSMT

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You’re reactions of indifference aren’t authentic. For example that “lol you too” text you sent hours later in the afternoon reeks of being butt hurt and trying to act like you dont care when you actually do.

I play no games with the phone. If I get a text from a girl and I see it when it comes through and have a moment to respond I respond instantly. Guys worry about seeming too needy by texting back right away. Who cares, just text when you can.

Same thing with waiting hours or days to text back to prove a point. Useless. You come across much different than you think you do by acting that way.

The same thing with unblocking her to see what she said. You’re already in her frame doing stuff like this whether you realize it or not. The time will come when she sniffs you out completely.
I do care.

I like the idea of answering text when you can.

They generally think I don’t care to date them when I delay response, from what I’ve found. I still do it. The only purpose it really serves is eventual quietness from her end and some peace on my end, mixed with occasional curiosity. Most of them aren’t too bad, but they almost all do some disrespectful sh*t test. When they start pissing me off, I get quiet, delay responses for days sometimes.

But I do care. I assume that’s where I’m faulted?

Lastly, if I unblock someone, I can’t see what they’ve said to me. Whatever they sent is lost and I have not been able to ever see past correspondence from a blocked person if unblocked. Blocking is another topic for another thread and something I never knew about until just a few years ago.

And ya, she is sniffing me out. And obviously I’m giving off a scent so to speak. I got work to do.
 

FMCSMT

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I wanted to add that I do appreciate the advice here. It really helps me a lot to learn and grow in this arena of life. Also having experienced people like you that have gone through this stuff or maybe seen others go through it, sometimes the mind is foggy and it helps tremendously to have clearer minds to help. Thanks again.
 

Ronin47

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Dont bother to reply, as a general rule if you need to write a thread here asking for suggestions, it means the girl is a headache to begin with.
I have been reading these forums for a few months now and I dont really understand these kinds of responses. They are ALL headaches and drama queens at some point, theyre ****ing females FFS. The entire point of these forums is to ask questions about interactions with females, and to get answers. Why wouldn't a guy post a question he wanted to know the answer to?

I get the whole "if you have to ask then your arent being an alpha" blah blah - but isnt the point to get better? Some guys I have noticed are super helpful, and considerate of the idea that people are in different phases of growth and understanding. I am one of those dudes who was an Alpha as a young guy without knowing what I was doing, built a successful international business, then through 23 yrs married got blue pilled like a MF. Found the manosphere after a brutal BPD experience and now recently red-pilled working to unwind 23 yrs of bull**** feminist programming.

If a person needs to posture over other dudes (not saying this is you, who dares) maybe take a look inside and ask the question why. Big difference between posturing and giving hard love feedback for a man to grow.
 

kbbroiler1971

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Okay your problem is you are caring and have to start looking at women as utilites or as escorts. Escorts sometimes flake on their clients and double book. Do you get mad? You might say you ***** but then after you probably call another one if you are into escorts. However, escorts and non escort women are not that different so my opinion is to stop caring and look at them as utilities or objects. Once you start caring or show the sign you do they run! Also to add we are preconditioned to not look at women as sex objects but what do they do to attract a guy they like? Dress like a sex object. The truth is they are sex objects at the end of the day.
 

Spaz

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I have been reading these forums for a few months now and I dont really understand these kinds of responses. They are ALL headaches and drama queens at some point, theyre ****ing females FFS. The entire point of these forums is to ask questions about interactions with females, and to get answers. Why wouldn't a guy post a question he wanted to know the answer to?

I get the whole "if you have to ask then your arent being an alpha" blah blah - but isnt the point to get better? Some guys I have noticed are super helpful, and considerate of the idea that people are in different phases of growth and understanding. I am one of those dudes who was an Alpha as a young guy without knowing what I was doing, built a successful international business, then through 23 yrs married got blue pilled like a MF. Found the manosphere after a brutal BPD experience and now recently red-pilled working to unwind 23 yrs of bull**** feminist programming.

If a person needs to posture over other dudes (not saying this is you, who dares) maybe take a look inside and ask the question why. Big difference between posturing and giving hard love feedback for a man to grow.
It depends.

If the OP is a student or a very young man, the responses here I assure you will be highly different.

It will be more "gentle" as that's what's needed.
 
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