How do you guys overcome approach resistance?

[inter]

Hey guys . . .

I have a really tough time with approaches, I usually go to malls or other commercial places when I go gaming, as I'm not yet old enough for bars/clubs, but all the girls there seem to be pretty hostile. How do you guys get over the initial resistance without seeming needy or desperate while also seeming fun and relaxed? Does it just have to do with the location? Should I go someplace else for practice? Or is there a good way to simply overcome this?

btw I'm not hot, but I'm def. not incredibly ugly, but whenever I approach female strangers they give me a "why the eff are you talking to me" kinda look/attitude and it really throws me off, because I guess I'm not used to talking to people that don't want to talk to me. Thanks guys . . .

 

[WhitePimp]

The method I use mostly as I'm not really into going up to random girls is trying to get at least some kind of response from them whether it be eye contact or a smile, etc. If that proves hard to do then I would go near them and just comment aloud on whatever and if they notice what you've said, then go in. If they don't, then I'd just assume they have very low AR and they're not interested and move on to the next one.

 

[jack knife]

You might want to try a change of location.

I find that coffee shops are a great place to meet people. Since I live in Seattle, basically everyone drinks coffee... so there are always a couple HBs to be found.

If you're at least 18, you can probably find a dance club that permits minors.

If you're under 18, school is probably your best bet. If you're under 18 and you're not in school, then you have other things to worry about than your game with women.

 

[milrenkb]

The Etiquite Shutdown:

"Look I dont know where you're from, but where I'm from, etiquette and protocol are not optional, and just because your mother failed to equate you with the precepts in the embly post book of etiquette doesnt mean I should have to suffer due to your ignorance."

(turn around and walk away. Make sure you wait for her to finish whatever she has to say to you before you use it. Deliever it in a calm but assertive manner)

This is one of the few scripts you can remember and at the same time, be equiped to deal with the ones that are just plain rude. Mainly because you will rarely encounter them unless your completly beligerent.

With that said if your delivery of this script comes across as something you remembered than it won't be able to enact its intended effect. When you deliver it make sure you say it like you mean it. However remember that the best defense for it is if they've heard it before and they call you out on it(rare chance but still possible). In that case you have to walk away.

 

[pilotlicense]

The Etiquite Shutdown:

"Look I dont know where you're from, but where I'm from, etiquette and protocol are not optional, and just because your mother failed to equate you with the precepts in the embly post book of etiquette doesnt mean I should have to suffer due to your ignorance."

(turn around and walk away. Make sure you wait for her to finish whatever she has to say to you before you use it. Deliever it in a calm but assertive manner)

This is one of the few scripts you can remember and at the same time, be equiped to deal with the ones that are just plain rude. Mainly because you will rarely encounter them unless your completly beligerent.

With that said if your delivery of this script comes across as something you remembered than it won't be able to enact its intended effect. When you deliver it make sure you say it like you mean it. However remember that the best defense for it is if they've heard it before and they call you out on it(rare chance but still possible). In that case you have to walk away.

You got that from David Deangelo's friend in his Advanced Dating series.

 

[Vypros]

The Etiquite Shutdown:

"Look I dont know where you're from, but where I'm from, etiquette and protocol are not optional, and just because your mother failed to equate you with the precepts in the embly post book of etiquette doesnt mean I should have to suffer due to your ignorance."

(turn around and walk away. Make sure you wait for her to finish whatever she has to say to you before you use it. Deliever it in a calm but assertive manner)

This is one of the few scripts you can remember and at the same time, be equiped to deal with the ones that are just plain rude. Mainly because you will rarely encounter them unless your completly beligerent.

With that said if your delivery of this script comes across as something you remembered than it won't be able to enact its intended effect. When you deliver it make sure you say it like you mean it. However remember that the best defense for it is if they've heard it before and they call you out on it(rare chance but still possible). In that case you have to walk away.

lol

Why do you want to give her some scripted response?

First of all, you'll be lucky if she even lets you finish that beast of a sentence. Second of all, it makes you look like a b**ch. Thirdly, and most importantly, a "confident" guy doesn't get bent out of shape over a little resistance, and that sentence really is just a whole bunch of angry.

When you meet resistance and you get the WTF look, what do you do? You ESCALATE the lighthearted feel. Now, I'm going to give you an example that takes GIANT, NO ENORMOUS, balls to pull off:

You go up to the girl and you open her. She gives you a look like "WTF?" and kind of acts rude. What do you think she'd do is you just burst out into song right there? Then, as soon as you are finished, you just walk away. Granted, you could still get rejected, and you'd be making a scene (which is why it'd take a big pair to pull off), but could you imagine the impression that would leave with her? She would remember you for the rest of her LIFE. That's the king of all statements right there.

Granted, there are much less ballsy ways of going about taking a new lighthearted tone, but I'd love to see you put that to work and report back with the results.

 

[nonchalant]

When I started, I could barely approach. I would sit in the club and not be able to talk to anyone the whole night, then go home. These are the things that most helped me get over it:

-You have to keep practicing it, and force yourself out of your comfort zone. It is the only way. But - the good news is that it doesn't really take that long to get over the approach anxiety. Only around 50 approaches, after that it becomes fun.

-3 second rule. Also the constant fear that time and youth and opportunity is constantly slipping away, so seize the day, as they say.

-And here is the big one: You can use canned approaches if you want. They are like training wheels - stuff like 'jealous girlfriend', 'help me buy a gift for my sister, etc'. The usual routines. But what helped me get over the AA the most was the use of something I call a 'pre-opener' - something like 'hey you know the time?', 'hey you know how to get to such and such bar?', something totally random you'd ask any stranger at a bar, once you get them talking just a little, you break into your real opener. This tip is gold and really broke down a lot of doors for me.

 

[Vypros]

-And here is the big one: You can use canned approaches if you want. They are like training wheels - stuff like 'jealous girlfriend', 'help me buy a gift for my sister, etc'. The usual routines. But what helped me get over the AA the most was the use of something I call a 'pre-opener' - something like 'hey you know the time?', 'hey you know how to get to such and such bar?', something totally random you'd ask any stranger at a bar, once you get them talking just a little, you break into your real opener. This tip is gold and really broke down a lot of doors for me.

SOLID.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You got that from David Deangelo's friend in his Advanced Dating series.

Someone got busted!!!!!

 

[Bonhomme]

Simple: try only approaching gals who are receptive.