How do you guys deal with what others think of you?

[PoontangPie]

I've had lots of opportunities to pick up girls on the public train and bus but it's always this thing that holds me back.

What the other million people around us are going to think when I walk over to her and say "Hi I've noticed you looking at me from opposite etc etc"

How do you guys handle this? Any tips? Psych stuff to erase this? Thanks

 

[Bvbidd]

They will laugh at you.

What can you do? Nothing.. what's the alternative.. nothing.. therefore who cares?

 

[Driven2Succeed]

um, just don't worry about what other people think..

i have the mentality that its basically my world, and she would be lucky to have a place in it.. or kinda approach it like ur in ur own bubble and no one around u matters.

just experiment and find out what works best for u

 

[Bvbidd]

The bubble thing works good too.

 

[squirrels]

I've had lots of opportunities to pick up girls on the public train and bus but it's always this thing that holds me back.

What the other million people around us are going to think when I walk over to her and say "Hi I've noticed you looking at me from opposite etc etc"

How do you guys handle this? Any tips? Psych stuff to erase this? Thanks

Picture this...the hottie two seats back looks up at you, looks away coyly and smiles. You go up to her and strike up a conversation, despite snickers coming from other passengers on the bus. She responds positively and gives you her phone number.

Then she gets off the bus and as soon as she's gone, the whole bus breaks out in laughter, mocking you for being such a tool. You proclaim that you got her number, but they continue to laugh at the fact that you're actually desperate enough to hit on girls on the bus.

How do you feel?

 

[penkitten]

repeat after me ..."fek em if they cant take a joke"

hope it gets you thru life.

 

[thefonz]

Well for these types of situations I recommend you give yourself the credit you truly deserve. To do this ask the RIGHT questions, nothing bias. You're looking for the truth here, no fear created illusions.

What's the situation? You are on a crowded train.

What is everyone around you like? They are in their own little world, a comfortable world that only involves taking action unless they are being threatened by something or someone. Otherwise they talk to no one and stare into space.

What is your condition? You see a hot girl and you want to talk to her.

Statistically speaking, how many people are afraid of approaching strangers in crowded areas? I'd figure about 80-90%


Now, what I would peace together from this personal Q&A session with myself is that you are the top dog on this ride because you are the most ambitious of everyone around you. In this one space in time, you could be king of your surroundings because you have the ability to stand out from the crowd and talk to someone. The only way anyone can challenge your domination of the train is if they made comments at you while you were trying to hit on the girl like, "You're blowing it!". How likely is that? Not very. Just by opening your mouth and talking to someone you have established your role as the guy who intiates convos, and therefore, the leader of the pack.

That's how I choose to look at it anyway. Hope this helps.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...What the other million people around us are going to think when I walk over to her and say "Hi I've noticed you looking at me from opposite etc etc"...

And why do you care about this?

 

[Panda 2000]

I don't.

 

[Distant Light]

They will laugh at you.

What can you do? Nothing.. what's the alternative.. nothing.. therefore who cares?

WTF? I've rarely seen that happen, I've even seen other guys approach girls and not a single person laughed or any of that. What is there to laugh about?

I've approached on trains and buses and once in awhile people will glance over, listen, etc but most people are in a fuvking trance. You ever been on a bus and its so fuvking quiet like its just you by yourself thats a trance state everyone is in because nobody is talking, and there just thinking about crap. If something was to happen they would be surprised because they just jumpped out of a trance.

But who really cares your the one going to fuvk her or your the one learning something new let them have there fun. This whole Pickup thing is suppose to be fun.

 

[The Juan and only]

Distant light is right on the mark. You can do the most outrageous things, even in the middle of the street, and a lot of people won't even blink.

PEOPLE DON'T GIVE A SH!T ABOUT YOU OR YOUR LIFE.

some stranger just hit on a girl in front of you? so what? nobody really cares, either that or they're too shy to comment -- yes, they might listen in for a bit of quiet self-amusement, but that's it.

I'm always amazed by this. One time, I was standing in line at argos and some decent music came on the speaker system -- I was with my friend and I swear, I started a full on, pretty vigorous dance right in the queue (which was made even more ridiculous by the fact I was wearing a black suit)..and let me tell you, not a single person in that queue said a word, or even looked bothered.

Most people are shy, and most people are too absorbed in their own lives to give a sh!t about you. ok?

 

[Quiksilver]

Well since I'm one of those 'evil' people who thinks the worlds population should be cut down to 100 million from 6+ billion...I frankly wouldn't care what a meager 20 losers on a train think about me.

Besides, alot of them would secretly be jealous. The guys would think "Dang! He gots ballz!" , the chicks would think "I wish a guy would do that to me."

It's really no contest. I've never even thought of approaching on a train though...Something about the noise and the subdued, solemn atmosphere doesn't help.

 

[PoontangPie]

It's really no contest. I've never even thought of approaching on a train though...Something about the noise and the subdued, solemn atmosphere doesn't help.

There are a truckload of hotties riding the public transport every damn day where I am.

But anyway thanks for the responses. To quote something I saw on a blog, "WHATS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN" lol. WTG.

Liked the "leader of the pack" idea purported up there.. Props

 

[mpimpin]

The abstract meaning of being a DJ is not Giving a Fvk what people think

 

[brenbaus]

i dont give a fvck what other people think of me, thats how you deal with it

 

[ScrewIt]

there's nothing to deal with, who cares what they are or arent thinking.

There's only a need to deal with them if they start sh!t about it.

 

[everywomanshero]

Worrying about what other people think is deadly to results with women.

Look this isn't a practice life, and you are in this thing alone. What other people is insignificant. They go home to their miserable lives wishing and waiting for the day they are free from the fear of what people think, the deadly anxiety that stops them from fvcking the girls they really like, giving speeches, and singing kareoke at the local Casino.

The people on the train are good people, but if they think negative thoughts, then they sow the seed to have a negative life. We want to disqualify anyone so negative that we cannot make them smile anyway, so think of this process as a good thing.

Rich and famous people ride in fancy rides with private drivers, not take train. So tell yourself that if you start to worrying, don't become arrogant, but remind yourself that you and they are on the same level. Secretly people will respect, admire, or becomes jealous because you are defeating the curse of anxiety that keeps almost everyone on earth from getting what they want in life. You are a hero to yourself for doing this.

 

[Tomatoes]

I've had lots of opportunities to pick up girls on the public train and bus but it's always this thing that holds me back.

What the other million people around us are going to think when I walk over to her and say "Hi I've noticed you looking at me from opposite etc etc"

How do you guys handle this? Any tips? Psych stuff to erase this? Thanks

I had this problem with my mates. When i was sarging and cold approaching. I was not getting anywhere. Getting shot down. It happens sometimes.

Anyway after i failed approach i came back to my mates who laughed at me saying "So she wasnt intrested?" in a joke voice.

I said they can laugh but where as they are sitting here playing with their d!cks only wishing they could have the confidence to ACTUALLY approach a girl like me. I will go find a girl to go take home.

As they know this is true that im more likely to pull.....I soon had them in their place.


Fvck everyone else! Half of them are AFCs wishing they could do what you can do. So you get rejected? At least you try. They are not even worth that. Your better than them.....simple....


Sarge On!

 

[Bvbidd]

One way to get over this fear is just go out and do really crazy things in public. (This is probally bad advice but it'll work) If you can do them, you'll always have that in the back of your mind. Your still alive, your still breathing and you did crazy sh!t. I'm talking yell at everybody you see or streak or something.

Suddenly, talking to some chick won't seem as crazy or bad for rep anymore. (It's not that bad really anyway.)

 

[SamePendo]

Well, I do care about what others think of me. That's precisely why I do approach. There's nothing like watching the face of some average people (men and women) after you close a hb.