"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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How do you guys deal with needy girls?

T-Mack

Don Juan
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I just started talking to this girl and she won't stop texting me. It is really annoying. The first few times was okay, but then it got old after that. I told her I wanted to talk on the phone instead of texting and I scheduled a date with her and told her I'd get back with her the day before to let her know if it is still on.

She has sent me four texts since then and I haven't responded to any of them. The past two nights she has sent me a "good night" text. She is a cute girl and has stated a few times that she is really shy. We have never even kissed yet. I just know her through mutual friends.

Is there a nice way of telling her that you don't like talking or texting on the phone?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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WORKEROUTER

Master Don Juan
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Just tell her that you don't like being on the phone that much and don't like texting. Make sure you let her know that goes for everyone not just her. If she still insists, just ignore her texts and calls until she either gets the point or she leaves.

I use to disable my text messaging so that it was a non-issue.
 

Cinamon

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Yeah, i agree, you just need to tell her that you are not big on texting and talking on the phone, and its just the way you are, nothing personal. What the hell, tel her you find her level of contact intense and would prefer quality rather than quantity... it might work.
 

handle

Master Don Juan
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WORKEROUTER said:
Just tell her that you don't like being on the phone that much and don't like texting. Make sure you let her know that goes for everyone not just her.
This is what I do and it works just fine. It's honest, it makes sense, and she'll see that that's what kind of person you are when you hang out with her (I don't answer calls when I'm having a conversation with someone unless I'm expecting it.) Even if she texts a lot, answer with enthusiasm but infrequently. She'll lock into your pace.
 

RFish

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Are you dating a young girl? I notice that this problem seem to lie in the young and inexperienced people.

You seem to be in the budding stage so I thought it was rather normal she would have acted this way.

Yep tell her nicely, or wait for this behavior to go away because it will go away sooner or later. I can't tell you how long to wait though.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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