"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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how do you guys cope with stress at work ?

picard

Master Don Juan
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how do you guys cope with stress at work ?

I do exercise on the weekend but I still feel dead tired coming home from work. my chest feels compressed in a vice.

I worry about every little mistake that I might make at work. I clench my jaws unconsciously.

I get anxious all the time at work.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Fuglydude

Master Don Juan
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I'm not sure what you do for work, but I can relate to being really tired after my shift. Are you new at your job?

I work 12, sometimes 16 hour shifts in the fast-paced life and death world of critical care... out pt's are the sickest in the hospital and many are unstable. One small mistake could kill someone. Im' usually pretty bagged after a shift, but I still manage to get to the gym depending on whether I need to train that day or not.

I don't typically take any stimulants prior to work as they make my hands shake. I do however, take a multi, b-complex, EFAs, and anti-oxidants almost religiously. This combined w/ a reasonably healthy diet helps me deal w/ stress.

Working out, sex and doing things that chill me out are the strategies I use to cope w/ stress, (this includes work-related stuff).

I use several pre-workout strategies to amp myself up so that I am at least somewhat ready to lift. Going to the gym is a bit like going to war... you gotta be prepared or you'll lose. Here's what I do:

1. Make sure I'm properly hydrate (750-1000 cc of water pre-WO)
2. Pre WO meal (2 hours before lifting: light protein and some carbs. Ex: Egg whites/shake w/ some fruit)
3. Pre WO multi-vitamin and heavy dose B-complex supplement.
4. Pre WO stimulant (typically methyl-xanthine based)
5. Pre WO metabolic support (arginine esters, creatine esters, etc)
6. Pre WO anti-oxidants.

Sleep is also really really important to help reduce stress. So in short, stress relief is done by combining a healthy diet w/ prudent supplementation, optimal and varied physical activity, regular sex, emotional/spiritual fulfillment, and of course adequate sleep/rest.

Just my 2 cents...
 

picard

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I feel my life seems to be bland. I don't know what of change I need in my life.

I am still clueless.
 

RMM

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How I cope? Sugar and caffeine.

Ruins the diet, but I like my job, so that's a big plus. Deadlines and all, but at the end of the day the research we're doing is pretty damn cool.

How to avoid worrying about mistakes? Peer review (extra pair of eyes to look at your stuff, and you doing the same for others), plus accepting that what you do is usually what you do as best you can with the time you have. Strive to do better all the time, but don't beat yourself up, because mistakes will happen. Unless you're a surgeon or air traffic controller, it's not going to immediately kill someone.

Maybe the researcher world is different though, we make hypotheses that get proved wrong all the time and simply try to make sense out of a big mess, so we accept a certain degree of failure as inevitable.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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