"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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How do you go from friends to dating? (not the regular friendzone situation)

the_govner

Don Juan
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I don't have a problem with women in general, going from nothing to dating has been quite good for me.

However, I've known this one girl for awhile pre-dj and she's been a fairly good friend. Not very close, but we hang out maybe once every couple months and chat every now and then.

She knows I date a lot and I know that she sees me as a friend.

Any ideas as to how I ask her out on a date? The words to use? Don't want to be coming off as if I realized that we should be more than friends. I just want to date her and see if it goes well, nothing is certain.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Iceberg

Master Don Juan
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I don't know that you can "ask her out on a date".

At best, you guys can hang out together for a night on the town, have a few drinks, and try to escalate to something physical.

Something has to actually happen for her to change her perception of you as a friend. I don't think you can talk your way into it.

If what you're saying is true, and you guys are not-so-close friends, then maybe you have a chance.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
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At best, you guys can hang out together for a night on the town, have a few drinks, and try to escalate to something physical.
I think that's the best strategy (although you aren't clear on whether you've actually been out alone with her before or as part of a group).
Just get her to hang out with you as usual, then try to escalate, kino, try to get a kiss, etc.

She may give resistance at first, and that's okay! She may need time to get used to the idea of seeing you in a different light. Just back off awhile then start again. She's either going to have to change her mindset about you or reject you completely.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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