How do you get super shy girls to relax?

[marshwaters]

A female who's pretty cute and popular acts waaaay shy around me. I've talked to her on facebook a couple times and she's really flirty and goes out of her way to make me laugh, and told me how happy she is talking to me. When I see her in person she's much different: ignoring me, tense, serious, looks down when we pass. She has tense body language, and eyes fly around when we talk, but the trend is down. She obviously likes me a lot but when I talk in person she acts way tense. How should I approach and develop rapport with women like this?

 

[avoidthenoid]

Easy: Alcohol
Not easy: If she likes you then her behavior says she's shy. Put yourself in her shoes, in situations that you have been shy in what happened that allowed you to open up? I would suggest take interest in her, genuinely ask her about her day or ask her about her advice. The key is to make her comfortable talking to you and the best way to do that is to let her talk about things she would have something extensive to share. Your goal is show her that talking to you in person is just as fun as it is on FB and that talking to you in person isn't dangerous. Just put her at ease and she'll open up.

 

[demezel]

make her feel comfortable.... i mean isolate her, take her to a place where there is only her and you and tell her to calm down and talk to you... you'll see that she will be the same chick on facebook.

PS. you are not trying to rape her so the all getting her drunk deal is really stupid and low.. and if something happen she would either say that she doesnt remember anything and blame it on the alcohol or be shocked afterward and say that you raped her so...

 

[Jack Wealthy]

I've never made a girl open up without sexual contact. I would tell her to come away with you and put your arm around her. I feel any other way (i.e. talking about her) might get you frendzed whether as sexual contact will get the good kinda relations.

 

[SgtSplacker]

You cant be nice to 10s but to regular shy type girls you do have to just be cool with her. I'd tell her that i'm really dissapointed we never talk in person and start chatting her up or plan to take her somewhere to chat her up. Talk until she starts opening up. Ask her alot of questions, be funny. The objective here is to get her to talk to you comfortably. Then if your lucky she will open up to you sexually. I love shy girls man they tend to be the best ones!

 

[avoidthenoid]

make her feel comfortable.... i mean isolate her, take her to a place where there is only her and you and tell her to calm down and talk to you... you'll see that she will be the same chick on facebook.

PS. you are not trying to rape her so the all getting her drunk deal is really stupid and low.. and if something happen she would either say that she doesnt remember anything and blame it on the alcohol or be shocked afterward and say that you raped her so...

You do know that alcohol can be used in moderation in a casual setting just to relax right?

 

[demezel]

You do know that alcohol can be used in moderation in a casual setting just to relax right?

yep i do.... one glass to make the uneasiness go away is one thing but drunk is another

 

[joverby]

You can't force someone to relax.....It's like yelling at a kid to stop crying, yelling at them isn't going to stop it.

You just have to naturally build up the rapport / comfort, I'm sure she won't be on edge forever.

 

[FairShake]

Take a tip from our female friends who deal with cute-but-shy-guys all the time, you need to be open and take the lead. Ask her about herself, her family, her schooling or career, easy things to talk about. Don't be obnoxious or aggressive.

 

[marshwaters]

It's easy to relax when the girl's relaxed, but how do you stay relaxed when they act nervous? People tend to mirror, good or bad. How do I stop myself from mirroring her if she has nervous body language?