status anxiety, or not feeling good enough. Or, guy with all the money,fancy,rich looking clothes, eats at all the fancy restauraunts,the hippest bars, into the scene of sorts, well educated,is the one with the most success,whether in life or with women. Know what I mean? I am not caught up in anything like that,for I tend to not care so much. I am for the most part,just a regular dude.
Well,that's just it. It seems by the time they are 18,or even 15,they have had there fair share of ****,and have been pretty much used and passed around, or am I just overexagerating here? Whereas me, I haven't had my fair share or the pvssy,so this causes some issues.
Here's a good post I read:
"You've pretty much nailed it on the head, my friend.
I am fortunate to have, as uncles, two guys who would be considered "naturals" by the community. They are the sort of guys who can walk into a room and within 5 minutes, have people around them, chatting away like old friends. They're fun-loving, social guys who are interesting to talk to, are good listeners, and make the most of their looks.
I posted this on another thread, but I'll repost it here. It was a summary of AFCAdam's e-book, that a socially awkward friend bought. I told my him, "Dude, I could have told you this over a drink at the pub!". It all boiled down to -
a)Talking to them in a casual, friendly way, finding commonalities like an old friend would. Keep the conversation positive, letting her talk about herself.
b)Not hanging around her too much; instead, socialising and showing you're a cool guy to have around.
c)teasing her a bit, dropping a little innuendo into the conversation when appropriate, not being afraid of vocalising a disagreement (so she knows you're not just "Me-tooing" to impress her.
d)Challenging her to prove herself to you, in a fun way.
e) Getting the number with a reason to meet again. Because you've established things in common, you can arrange meeting to do one of those things.
This is what my uncles "taught" me this **** back in the day, when they said
"Assume she likes you, tease her like you'd tease a mate, let her talk, see if she's got anything in common with you, find a reason to like her (not cos she's got big boobs!), and see her again to do something fun together. And if she doesn't want you as a lover, you'll be a mate who's a cool guy her mates might like! Unless she's a slapper, don't come on too strong first up. Don't care whether you get a number or not, just go out and have fun with people. That'll be a change from all the nervous or drunk guys who hit on her. And don't make yourself too available or eager."
Heck, they were teaching me the Tao of Steve!
Be Desireless
Be Excellent
Be Gone
Not saying there isn't good advice in the community, but to any well-adjusted, social guy, this sort of thing comes across as overcomplicating a part of life most of us figured out at High School. Guys who can approach a woman and make small talk are seen as superhuman. Guys who get laid on a regular basis are seen as "Naturals".
Socially awkward guys like my mate get sucked in by all the bull**** that you can get any girl you see, and anyone not banging 100s of girls is a loser.
I know Brent Smith is hated on by a lot of guys for his advice "Be indifferent", when he has money and good looks aplenty, but he is right. When you obsess over getting laid, and obsess about how the interaction is going and whether you'll get laid, it'll **** you up. Your body language will be off, you'll try too hard, and you won't treat women like human beings.
Knowing how to make appropriate small talk is useful. A lot of people don't listen - they just wait until the other person has stopped talking so they can talk about themselves again!
Knowing when she's giving you signals that she's interested or attracted is vital, too.
Being aware of how to present your most attractive qualities is necessary.
But turning all of this into a "system" messes you up. If you only see women as targets, and success as getting numbers or getting laid, then you'll end up getting depressed when you don't score. You'll spend hours obsessing over what you did wrong in one particular interaction, when really, you just weren't her type.
No one gets laid constantly. Even good looking guys can go through dry spells. Not every woman will fancy you. Facts of life. Nothing will change that.
Having your sex life sorted is a part of life we all should get right, but it is not the only thing worthwhile in life.
Ben"
I mean, I am still caught up in the "I haven't slept with x amount of women,therefore,I cannot be happy. Or I am/was a loser for not having it sooner." All this negative self talk that I am just starting to try and get out of. Maybe it's just not knowing how to be happy, or social enough, or lack of game.
