How do you find a Wife or LTR?

[Latinoman]

I sense that there is still an underlying dynamic in their relationship, where she feels that she is the one who is lucky to have him. I think this keeps their marriage happy.

I agree 100%. My ex-wife felt exactly the same (even if she didn't say it, her actions and body language said it all).

 

[speed dawg]

Aww, chit, I just realized this thread was like 2 fukking years old....sheesh

 

[Captain AFC]

I'm not like uber-christian or anything like that, but my family is and I just think that a relationship is easier to manage if the two of you have similar backgrounds (Im not claiming that this is the only way.)

And what you just said is true. So the question remains... what's the problem?

I'm also Christian. I also want a girl that has similar beliefs. The Bible does not necessarily condemn a relationship with a woman of different religious preferences. What it does do is give warning against it. And for good reason. It's troublesome to have a relationship with someone that has radically different beliefs.

Also, when you consider someone's religious background, you have to go deeper than "Are they Baptist." You see, people often mistake religious background as, "Does she believe in the ten commandments?" If you go by that, you're already making the biggest mistake of your life. The ten commandments fill all of ONE PAGE of a book with hundreds of pages! They aren't even the only "commandments" in the book. There are so many commandments that very few people know the actual count (because most of us didn't bother getting out a pad and pencil to figure it all out).

So your question about finding a girl of a particular belief system shouldn't be relegated to "Do I find them in Church, do I find them at the coffee shop?" Rather, you should be asking questions on how to screen girls to see if they fill the preferences that YOU want. Your family will not make you happy in terms of choosing a girl. Not in this day and age.

I am also a frequent church-goer. I know many women in church. I can tell you for a fact that Church does not make a woman marriageable in any sense of the word. For a bit, I became convinced I had to look around the church for women. It took me all of ten minutes to figure out that, at least in my church, I wouldn't date or marry a single one of them. Womanly issues do not magically dissolve, even under the guise of Christian faith. I know Christian women that are genuine in their worship practices and prayer, but have a completely flip-sided personality when it comes to relationships - i.e - "I can't find a good, eligible black man" syndrome. Meanwhile, I'm sitting right next to them with a master's degree. Whether that was subtle IOI or not, I was turned off hearing about it.

On the other hand, I have met another Christian woman who I think is fantastic. I don't go to the same church as her. Heck, the pretext of our talking had nothing to do with Church. It was just something I learned about her over time. We even exchange thoughts on it from time to time. In other words, she's quite a fit. But I don't even live in the same town anymore, so dating would be sloppy and foolhardy at best. But that's besides the point. I talked to a woman that I knew, at least from a cursory encounter, that I'd be interested in. I got to know her (since that's what I prefer over getting laid... just a preference). She happened to fit, from the religious side of things, my own leanings.

So there you go. Rollo T's response to this old thread was pretty accurate in terms of how to go about things. Church won't necessarily have gems in it. Bars and clubs won't necessarily always have trash. No, you shouldn't go out suddenly to frequent bars and clubs for an LTR/wife. But if you go there for fun and encounter someone, it's not necessarily game over. Likewise, a girl in church is not necessarily game time. It's the individual... not the institution you found her in.