How do you find a Wife or LTR?

[locrian]

I feel your pain, I'm from an uber-christian family too and they are going to be sorely disappointed when I marry a heathen. But it's your life, you're the one who's marrying some girl, not them, so find a woman who makes your life better, not theirs.

As for where to find a religious woman (if that really is what you want) just go to church. And if there aren't any girls there that're your type, go to another church. You could go to a different church every week and it would take years to go to them all! Hell, I wish I was a religious man sometimes just so I could meet girls at church!

Have fun...

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Dukester
it's not hard to find woman that dont drink and smoke. i know a bunch of woman that dont do either.
most woman do NOT smoke though, but also, a lot like to drink.

i'm catholic/christian, and i drink- ohhh big deal

My ex husband's aunt is a nun. She carries around a briefcase bar and puts the JD and water right to her. Catholics usually love to drink.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

I think I might want to much..... A good girl, that knows how and when to be bad.....

 

[Ricky]

Guys we are all pressured by family members and society to get married.

But do it for the right reasons.

There is nothing wrong with Christian girls.

I do enjoy atheists who are so offended by Christianity and think that just because a girl is a believer that she is to be avoided. It shows the same narrow mindedness that atheists dislike and frequently mention about Christians.

Remember no matter what that you are to be married to this woman, not your family.

I have found myself influenced by what my family thinks about girlfriends before too. But I also have the benefit of being the youngest son and I have realized that they find fault with all of my brothers wives.

As a result I don't give a crap what they think anymore!

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

Someone mentioned this thread, so I searched for it and I have to add one more condition for my future wife she has to be someone that grew up in the church and not some convert that I got tired of being a replaceable hole.

 

[ElChoclo]

As long as you follow Leviticus 18 you will be OK. You could always just find the two sisters mentioned in Ezekiel 23. The Bible has stuff all in it prohibiting sex, apart from incest, bestiality and homosexuality.

Can someone point out where it says that premarital sex is wrong. I think there is even some part where it prescribes the fine payable for deflowering a non consenting virgin.

 

[MightyMate]

You dont find it. It finds You. Sounds akward, but its really how it works.

 

[Latinoman]

I don't like going to clubs or barely clothed air head sluts. I like intelligence, beauty, loyality and humor.

If you don' go to clubs, where do you go?

There's another side to my dilema.....

Coming from a uber christian family, i have to eventual settle down with an uber christian young lady(or else no one in my family will attend my weddind...this has happened before).......

How do I reconcile my don juan dreams with my eventual reality..... How does one go from pimp to loyal bf husband?

One comment...who cares if your family goes to your wedding? The only person that you should make happy is your wife. And the only person she should make happy is you.

This is a HUGE issue when it comes to comparabilities (e.g. the way each one of you decides to deal with the in-laws).

 

[speed dawg]

25? Come back when you're 30, you're still too young to be asking this question..

I see your point, and I know where you're going with it, but come on....when you find a good girl you go for it no matter how old you are. "Good" is a fairly loose term in my case.

Seriously though, here's an asignment for you. Go to your church (or your familie's church if you don't go regular) and take mental notes of all the women you see there. Be real particular as far as appearances go and any conversations you can eavesdrop on paying particular attention to statements about personal lives or issues that may relate to their opinions of dating or marriage. You will begin to see consistent patterns present themselves. A lot of christian women follow very predictable schemas. Most will be overweight, most will shun direct discussions about sex, most will expect to be married (soon around your age), most will complain about there being a lack of 'marriageable' men with sufficient dedication to women as it should be their duty to do so. Those not overweight will tend to be wallflowers (or self preceived wallflowers) or 'recovering sluts' in church for the first time in a while wanting to make a fresh start. One unifying understanding that virtually all of them will have will be a belief in a ONE (ONEitis) predestined husband ordained for them and will respond to the soul-mate myth accordingly. This is also a manifestation of the 'entitlement' dynamic which is rife in almost every religious group, not just christianity...

I agree. Many people hide behind Christianity for support and security. It's called FAITH and it's the entire purpose of religion. I live my life in accordance to what I believe that the Lord wants me to do. How do I know, some might ask? Through my own personal experiences. Life is definitely fullfilled when my relationship with Christ is strongest...

HOWEVER

I do believe we make our own choices and we make our own lives. God is their for guidance and a rock to lean on, not to be used as an excuse to shelter us. If it were, we would all be predestined for heaven or hell, or maybe we wouldn't exist at all.

If you answer no to any of these, don't get married. There are no immediately identifiable benefits for a man to get married (unless you really want to start a family). It is ALL responsibility with very little recognizable payback. Christian or otherwise, marriage benefits the woman exclusively, while the plus side for men is negligible. .

So why get married? Why did you get married? Yes I realize that in our continual liberated society things are geared toward the woman, no doubt. It's the partnership, to have someone there who knows you in and out. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of different people who could take on that role at any given time or circumstance. And yes, reproduction. But nontheless, Rollo T, I'd like to know why you got married if it's such an anti-benefitial thing...

 

[Tom Juan]

You shouldn't have made this topic, mate.

 

[zafuhunter]

Self-mastery,

I appreciate where you are coming from in terms of wanting your family to approve of your partner. I come from a very tight-knit family and while they would accept anyone I brought home they would much prefer I marry someone with the same ethnic and religious background.

I actually found the internet was a great way to meet "good girls" from my own background. I dated a number of such ladies before realizing that I was not ready to settle down. Knowing that these types of girls were explicitly looking for something long-term I would quickly end the relationship. A lot of guys on this board would likely say that I ought to have had my fun and then dumped them but while I appreciate a lot of the advice available here I refuse to buy into misogynistic beliefs that justify consciously deceiving and hurting other people.

Getting back to my main point, get online and create profiles on some of the websites that have lots of listings in your respective city. You could also try websites designed for specifically for Christians and depending on what denomination you belong to there might even be some niche sites out there.

Another piece of advice. If you are looking for an LTR check out the posts by Rollo Tomassi and if you are willing to shell out some cash get a copy of The System by Doc Love. You can also peruse articles by Doc Love at a few sites online. Both of the above give valuable insights for getting into and LTR and qualities to watch out for in potential mates.

 

[Latinoman]

I actually found the internet was a great way to meet "good girls" from my own background. I dated a number of such ladies before realizing that I was not ready to settle down. Knowing that these types of girls were explicitly looking for something long-term I would quickly end the relationship. A lot of guys on this board would likely say that I ought to have had my fun and then dumped them but while I appreciate a lot of the advice available here I refuse to buy into misogynistic beliefs that justify consciously deceiving and hurting other people.

Actually, what I would say is that if YOU believe that these "internet" women were "good girls", then you should also believe in the tooth fairy and Saint Claus.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I say don't put off learning how to get what you want. You age has nothing to do with your success, what matters is the experiences you have and what you learn from them. You have nothing to loose by starting your education now. Who knows, you may come across "the one" when you are 27, 28 or 29.

By the way, contrary to popular belief, Doc Love's System is a very good resource for learning what's necessary to create a viable LTR.

 

[speed dawg]

By the way, contrary to popular belief, Doc Love's System is a very good resource for learning what's necessary to create a viable LTR.

I agree. Sex is not even a topic he discusses.

There is nothing wrong with Christian girls.

I do enjoy atheists who are so offended by Christianity and think that just because a girl is a believer that she is to be avoided. It shows the same narrow mindedness that atheists dislike and frequently mention about Christians..

Couldn't have said it better myself. This applies to racism, politics, etc.

Someone mentioned this thread, so I searched for it and I have to add one more condition for my future wife she has to be someone that grew up in the church and not some convert that I got tired of being a replaceable hole...

I'd say that's a good goal to have. Like I said in my previous post, there's a difference in hiding behind Christianity as an excuse and actually living a Christian life for Christ.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

I'm not like uber-christian or anything like that, but my family is and I just think that a relationship is easier to manage if the two of you have similar backgrounds (Im not claiming that this is the only way.)

 

[wheelin&dealin]

I don't like going to clubs or barely clothed air head sluts. I like intelligence, beauty, loyality and humor.

If you don' go to clubs, where do you go?

Clubs are fantastic.. They're full of single broads.

 

[blueguy]

Just be social and try to date as many girls as you can. Take things one day at a time with the girls regardless of your age. Maybe after awhile, you will know a person well enough to believe you can settle with them in your later years, but if it never happens that's ok. Just don't look for commitment from the start. Live in the moment. Dating them should make you happy enough. That's all marriage is... a bunch of really long dates. :cheer:

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

Just be social and try to date as many girls as you can. Take things one day at a time with the girls regardless of your age. Maybe after awhile, you will know a person well enough to believe you can settle with them in your later years, but if it never happens that's ok. Just don't look for commitment from the start. Live in the moment. Dating them should make you happy enough. That's all marriage is... a bunch of really long dates. :cheer:

TOTALLY---

I just rehashed this thread because some idiot referenced it in another thread, but YEAH I completely agree with you and Im not interested in getting married for at least another 10 years. I'm currently enjoying a LTR with a lady that doesn't quite fit the model I presented in this thread, but she has all of the other qualities that I enjoy. I'm just loving life now and attempting to give and take as much as I can from it.:flowers:

 

[Latinoman]

Im not interested in getting married for at least another 10 years.

The Perfect Woman can come into your life 2 years from now...even a week from now. We don't time things we cannot control, it is not like if we have a great supply of great women out there either.

 

[Bible_Belt]

fwiw, of all my married friends, I think only one of them has a good marriage, and I would consider the guy a DJ. His first date with his wife was on a night he had back-to-back dates. He told both of them up front that he was dating multiple women. He and the future wife ended up moving in together. He knocked her up and married her, in that order. She is an excellent wife and mother, holds a good job, and never gained weight after having a child. I sense that there is still an underlying dynamic in their relationship, where she feels that she is the one who is lucky to have him. I think this keeps their marriage happy.