How do you establish yourself as a lover and not a provider in her eyes?

[pete101]

This is the trick I have been struggling with for years. I am pretty successful and a catch, and of high value, however women see me as a ''provider'' and not a 'lover' initially so i end up having to wait before i get s3x as they withhold it as they see me as long term material.

What is the key when you're on a first date for her to see you that way.. like what things should i do?

 

[DonGorgon]

dnt give her anything until she has earned it or given you something first..... like sex or money etc.. when you gove a women stuff before you have hooked her she sees you as weak..

 

[pete101]

dnt give her anything until she has earned it or given you something first..... like sex or money etc.. when you gove a women stuff before you have hooked her she sees you as weak..

I mean on a first date.. like she knows im successful so already im bracketed into the 'provider' category, what do i do or say to switch it to the lover mode?

 

[rtb227]

when you two are alone do things lovers do not what a provider does. She already sees you of high value so you don't have to prove that. Touch more and more. escalate the things you do to her. If you get a good response keep on going. Make it known what you want. Don't force it upon her but if she seems into it go for it. Being a provider isn't necessarily bad as long as you are a lover as well.

 

[Mike32ct]

I mean on a first date.. like she knows im successful so already im bracketed into the 'provider' category, what do i do or say to switch it to the lover mode?

The difference between lover and provider is she is more itching to b@ng the lover guy. You need to get her to lust for you.

Read and follow Atomsmasher's "How to become more sexual" thread. I think it's still stickied, and is the top/first thread on the the DJ Discussion Board.

When she picks a provider it's a COMPROMISE. He's a decent looking dude that she doesn't mind having sex with at some point, but she doesn't get soaked pantes for him either. She gives up some sexual attaction in return for security/money/ good dad traits.

The lover is also a compromise. She gets hot lusty sex and sexual attraction as well as good genes. The tradeoff is a jerky, less reliable, less stable guy with less LTR potential.

You got the stability and LTR potential. You need to work on the sexual attraction side.

 

[Jaylan]

when you two are alone do things lovers do not what a provider does. She already sees you of high value so you don't have to prove that. Touch more and more. escalate the things you do to her. If you get a good response keep on going. Make it known what you want. Don't force it upon her but if she seems into it go for it. Being a provider isn't necessarily bad as long as you are a lover as well.

^This over 9000