How do you deal with this situation

[pvf94]

You probably all frown upon using myspace to meet hb's ... but I see it as a window of opportunity and it has worked for me a handful of times...why close it?

Anyhow, I've been talkin to a chick I have not met yet on aim the past couple days here and there I was going to ask her to hangout but she was in a down mood...2 dying relatives and something about a car problem...I just sympathized with her and after a while she said she was "sorry for not being so talkative" I told her I understood and I basically just let her be she thanked me for being understanding. She signed off a little while later without sayin goodbye or anything.

Our past couple convos where great the second time we even talked she openly throws sexual innuendo around with me and just talks dirty in general....my kinda girl haha.

Did I handle this the right way? Just let her be and don't be her emotional tampon, she will heal if I help her or not. So I just wait for her mood to change then when we are at a high point of discussion laughin and so on Ill ask her if she wants to hangout sometime.


good?

 

[pvf94]

Bump

 

[Interceptor]

pv,
you're stuck in a situation most males can relate.
Do you maintain the sexual, swagger, and devilishly charming persona or do you go for the more sensitive, attentive, empathic pesona?

One usually attracts women, the other usually puts you in the Friend Zone.
(there are some few exceptions though.)

The answer is really how confident you are.
..how GROUNDED you are........

....how strong is your Personal Boundary?...

........how badly are you trying to get something from her?...


Are you GIVING?

As in, are you giving value to her in this relationship?

Are you trying to get something from her?
How desperate are you to get with her?
Are you willing to 'lose" her? (she's not 'yours" to begin with. We don't OWN people.)
Are you willing to walk away?

Are you sure you are presenting yourself as confident, secure, self assured and MASCULINE?

Are you the 'rock" here?

Can you handle her emotional swings and need for an intimate connection with a masculine man?

These are all things you have to eventually ASK YourSelf, man.

You have to. You will find yourself in this repeating cycle if you don't adress these issues as soon as you can. get these things handled NOW, so you don't have to worry about it later.


Look, I'll be very blunt...most guys don't have the balls, nor the patience or the emotional strength to truly 'handle" a woman. And yes, that includes listening to her problems. Most guys in the PUA community look down on this. I understand why.
....because the general directive for PU is about just getting attraction and getting laid. Any deviation is a NO NO. But this is becasue the majority of the seduction community are NOT well developed masculine Men. They don't have the inner tools yet. So they HAVE to maintain this very RIGID doctrine to follow.
And if you or anyone else is in that category, then you have to try to understand your place on the seduction/attraction knowledge and Skill Ladder. Where are you on that skill ladder?


The PUA doesn't normally give a sh*t about the woman. He's not looking to get married, so why should he?(he's not a bad person. But he really shouldn't whine, b*tch, and moan about his results if he can't score a "quality woman" or a 'good girl.")
he doesn't care , nor does he have the emotional resourrce in the first place, TO Care about her feelings.

But the Ideal at SS, as the true Don Juan is a gentleman (this doens;t necessarily mean PURELY "gentle", as in delicate, not always. He has that quality, but it's not displayed unneccesarily. A gentleman used to be considered a Man of HIGH CHARACTER and HIGH CLASS in the old days. Now it's used negatively by some.) , who is not a wuss, or push over, but knows how to connect to and relate to women, and make them feel wonderful.

It's ultimately all about YOU, what do YOU want?

No one likes to look inside for guidance, they simply don't trust themselves yet.
Most often people look to others to give them THEIR answers.

But the truth is, that part of becoming a Mature Masculine MAN is independence, exercise of free will, and a non dependancy on others to give you your OWN opinions, ideas, and standards, etc.



And again, perhaps the MOST important thing to walk away with is:

"I am not NEEDY."

"I do not seek her validation."

"I am not trying to "get" or "take" ANYTHING from her."

"I am secure enough in myself to GIVE VALUE to HER. She either appreciates it, and reciprocates, OR NOT. If she decides not to, then I am still free , and satisfied in MYSELF to walk away with my self respect, dignity, and confidence INTACT, AND I hold no GRUDGE or anger against HER."