"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

How do you deal with the passive type?

Lost In the Seas

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 9, 2004
Messages
236
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Location
Hong Kong
How do u deal with a girl that is very passive, the type that wants the boys to do ALL the the approaches?

That seems understandable since some females prefer the men to be the absolute dominant controller of the relationship.

But by making too many moves wouldn't it be obvious that you are desperate and very interested in the girl, leading her to believe that she has gotten control of your heart which elinminates the chase factor that drives the girl to be crazy for you.

I see a conflict of idealogies here and wonder how you resolve this.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

MightyMate

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 9, 2005
Messages
1,400
Reaction score
2
Very simple. You dont ask questions, You give orders.
Thats how i deal with chisk. At 1st they say that nobody ever spke to them like that, later in LTR they keep saying that im tracking em like **** and they dont know why they are with me, because usually they were giving orders.. And i always say the same - You love me because You are fully under my control. mosta of You wouldnt act that anyways.
 

Fender

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2005
Messages
331
Reaction score
4
Well, when dealing with passive girls, you gotta first show her that you are a healthy/normal/good-natured person and that it is OK to share and talk. To do this, you gotta start talking about yourself and share a few stories with her (be prepared to do 98% of the talking in the beginning).

Get her laughing, get her interested in your life, and she'll slowly open up. This would then be a good time to ask a few open ended questions. But if she doesn't respond too well, go back to talking in statements.

After a while, is her mouth is still shut, you can probably tell that the girl has no neuronal connections whatsoever, so just eject. Alternatively, try groping her and see what happens. She might just be too horny to be able to talk ;)

-fender-
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Lost In the Seas

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 9, 2004
Messages
236
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Location
Hong Kong
I think i am past that stage, we have talked quite a lot, however it is usually i am the one asking her questions and she is the answering.

Like i asked her about her childhood, and she told me loads, but when she asked me back i wouldn't say much, just to be a mystery. She told me what type of men she wants and when i was asked i told her silly answers and never straight and true ones.

Ya i think i am past that stage, the question is there a way to approach a girl that wants you to make all the moves without inflicting the image of needy and desperation.
 

Damian

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
440
Reaction score
3
Location
San Diego, CA
It seems to me that you've already created a comfortable friendship with this girl. Spend a day using some routines and then go out with her. Do a number close or even a kiss close. Try to initiate a good kino routine. Just DO something to progress the relationship before you permanently fall into the LJBF zone.

-Damian
 
Top