How do you deal with mortality?

[MoreThanSmooth]

Okay so not a dating or DJ thread per se, but something every man has to face and I guess it's an interesting topic.

I haven't been posting much because a few months ago I had a hospital trip with heart arrhythmia. I'm in my twenties so it's very unusual. Fortunately it turned out to be nothing serious (fingers crossed anyway) and I'm mostly fine now, but there were a few moments when I genuinely thought I was gonna just cark it at 28 in front of my parents before I actually did anything I wanted to do in life.

It kind of opened my eyes to a few things. Firstly, that I am insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I'm talking cosmic scale.

We're all kinda ants scurrying about on one planet in the middle of nowhere, right? It's strange but I think we naturally ascribe huge significance to our own lives, we develop a big ego etc...but if you think about things on a larger level it all seems like a lot of hubris. We spend all day worrying about that next big pay rise, whether we should ask that girl out, getting angry about our food getting delivered late...in the end it's all irrelevant and it's actually kinda funny to me now that we worry about that stuff.

Secondly, I dunno...it opened my eyes to how difficult it is to live a life with purpose. You might have all the money in the world but it becomes irrelevant. You might be the Roman Emperor but one day that won't matter anymore. I mean, it's even weird that we fight so hard to survive in this world when the inevitable outcome is that we won't survive, at least not as individuals.

I've thought about this an awful lot now and I think the only metric you can really be measured by is if you left the world a better place than it was when you came into it.

Thirdly, life is chaos. One moment you can be fine, two days from now you might be in hospital wondering if your number is up. I know that's a pretty dark thought but again, it shattered my illusions of control. I'm in control to an extent, but literally anything could happen in my life. Exciting and grim in equal measure.

Well, what a rambling post this is turning into. I guess I'm just interested in knowing how others deal with the knowledge that everything you have strived for will come to a conclusion one day, inevitably. It's an uncomfortable truth but a neccessary one to confront, I feel. Do you just try not to think about it or do you deal with it in a certain way?

 

[B0redandl0nely]

I want to have certain experiences while I'm alive and leave a legacy behind before I die

 

[Billtx49]

Do you just try not to think about it or do you deal with it in a certain way?

No man knows the date his cancellation ticket gets punched, some are early, some come later, so he might as well spend his time here guided by his own standards, morals, and principles while enjoying every day he has to the fullest …

 

[Alvafe]

how I deal with my mortality? don't care really, everyone die sooner or later, the more you care less you live, i'm pretty cynical so I don't give anyone else life any value, if you tell me amillion died in a disaster or war I wouldn't even care, I would care if someone I know died, and only if I liked the dude, if not i could see me thinking finally i'm free of that moron.

one thing I say is "dead is not a problem, only one solution"

 

[corrector]

Make sure Jesus is real with you and you are on your way to heaven. I don't believe this is the only life but eternity is the true after-life and it's either going to be in heaven or hell depending on if you had your sins forgiven and are right with God.

 

[samspade]

Last year I watched a movie called "The Hit." It featured Terence Stamp and William Hurt, and a young Tim Roth. On the surface it was a mob movie. These British gangsters hunt down Stamp in Spain because (if I remember correctly) he turned state's evidence.

But what I really remember about it is there were three characters who were slated to die at the hands of the mob, Stamp included, and each had a certain attitude toward this fate. One accepted his fate as inevitable. Another acted as if he was ready to greet death, but later showed his true "readiness" when push came to shove. The third was not willing to accept it and fought it with great animal ferocity.

At one point in the film, Stamp reads John Donne's sonnet "Death, Be Not Proud." It's a poem that sort of takes the clothes off of death, if you will. We characterize death as the Grim Reaper, but it's really an event that's at the mercy of many outside factors, not some all-controlling horror monster.

I realize this post doesn't help you deal with mortality necessarily...just sprang into my mind.

 

[DelayedGratification]

And in the vein of The Mature Man, it crosses over to a much-visited topic of when your plate-spinning days should wind down. You hit 50, and these things become tangible. Especially when you watch your against-the-societal-odds-and-stayed-married older parents struggle with health issues in their 80's. A big reason they are getting through it all (my mom just had a 10-hour back surgery and will take 12-18mo for full recovery), is because they have each other.

Yeah we all die alone and all that, but there's something to be said for having a healthy LTR figured out well enough to have the benefits when you need it most.

 

[behimo]

I agree with you DelayedGratification.

There is something to be said for dedication, whether or not love was there throughout the whole relationship, there is a bond there between the spouses after sharing their lives or living with each other for so long.

The problem today is most people are wrapped up in their own lives.
Some aren't but they fail to act and a few who act but do so without morals and ethics.
And even fewer who act with grace.

I've recently had a blood clot in my lung and had some internal dialog with myself morethansmooth so I understand you in a way.

I'm also a believer in Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit.

We are never fulfilled, always searching for the next, because we are not home. Heaven is home, that's where we want to be, that's what will complete us.

We're all looking for a way to get there.

But people seek that fulfillment elsewhere and I guess that's where the sinful nature part comes in. The original meaning of the word sin is 'to miss the mark' and that seems apropo.

You will find something else to think about once you come to understand that thinking about death gets you nowhere EXCEPT tell you where you are.

You still have that fulfillment to go after, whatever it may be.

 

[Newbee2]

Don't worry about death.. worry about living a life true to yourself, your dream's and desires. Live Forfilled, chase dream's, enjoy the freedom our forefathers fought so hard to give us.. mindful taste, touch feel and experiences.

Too many people waste their lives making more stuff we don't need, making money to buying things they don't need. For the cost of resources we don't have.

Which of Buddha, Christ, Muhammad or Gandhi and other enlightened people etc.worked slave jobs to reach greatness?

We are not here for a long time, we are here for a good time...

Only you can know, how you would live your life if you were free to choose.. the thing is, you are free!

There is no purpose, we are just ants.. so if you live unhappy, you only waste resources. The only real meaning is what's right for you, not other millions of ants.. the only thing that's not a complete waste of life and resources, is if you are happy in your time here, nothing more..

We are all going to die, the question is if the tombstone should say; WASTED?

 

[Atom Smasher]

I believe that we are all going to answer to God for our lives. My driving desire in my adulthood has been to settle my accounts with God in order to avoid judgement for all the sin I've committed. Just as a criminal in court can't make up for the crime he committed by citing previous good works, we cannot stand before God having committed so many wrongs.

While all other religions teach that we earn our way into heaven, the bible specifically states over and over that in no way can we earn our way in.

That leaves us helpless, and God is in the unfortunate position of being unable to overlook our sin (because he would be evil if he did not deal with sin). He can't let it slide and still be righteous.

Enter Jesus, who lived the perfect, sinless life in our stead. He stated that no one comes to the father but by him. I started to read the New Testament in order to debunk it, and quite the opposite happened. I understood that I was looking at truth for the first time in my life. The Christian life is not about happiness, nor about fulfillment nor riches. It's about having God to look past our sins since we have Jesus as our advocate, who paid the price that we should be paying.

For that reason, I have no fear of death. I know I have settled my accounts with God, and have peace because of this. The bible says that every knee shall bow, and every tongue confess, that Jesus is Lord, and on that day, some will do so in peace and joy, and others in abject terror of what they know is about to happen. If we live our lives shaking our fist at God, and then beg him for entrance into heaven when we die, what does that say about us? What will He say to us?

My faith and belief in Jesus has turned me from a fearful, confused and angry wastrel into a man of strength and character. Someone here has said that Christianity makes one weak and makes one a doormat. Christianity is not for the cowardly. It in fact makes a man strong, with definiteness of purpose, and a normalized view of relationships, with man as leader and woman as submissive to his leadership. And how "interesting" that a woman who holds those beliefs has come my way and has been in my life for coming up on 3 years now.

Zero drama. Zero sh!t tests. There's a reason for that. God has a way of straightening us out and balancing us when we submit to his authority. And there is no more reason to fear our mortality.

“Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”
1 Cor 15:55

 

[lamath]

Procrastination..... so i guessi just dont deal.with it right now.

Living in the now.

 

[Spaz]

Okay so not a dating or DJ thread per se, but something every man has to face and I guess it's an interesting topic.

I haven't been posting much because a few months ago I had a hospital trip with heart arrhythmia. I'm in my twenties so it's very unusual. Fortunately it turned out to be nothing serious (fingers crossed anyway) and I'm mostly fine now, but there were a few moments when I genuinely thought I was gonna just cark it at 28 in front of my parents before I actually did anything I wanted to do in life.

It kind of opened my eyes to a few things. Firstly, that I am insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I'm talking cosmic scale.

We're all kinda ants scurrying about on one planet in the middle of nowhere, right? It's strange but I think we naturally ascribe huge significance to our own lives, we develop a big ego etc...but if you think about things on a larger level it all seems like a lot of hubris. We spend all day worrying about that next big pay rise, whether we should ask that girl out, getting angry about our food getting delivered late...in the end it's all irrelevant and it's actually kinda funny to me now that we worry about that stuff.

Secondly, I dunno...it opened my eyes to how difficult it is to live a life with purpose. You might have all the money in the world but it becomes irrelevant. You might be the Roman Emperor but one day that won't matter anymore. I mean, it's even weird that we fight so hard to survive in this world when the inevitable outcome is that we won't survive, at least not as individuals.

I've thought about this an awful lot now and I think the only metric you can really be measured by is if you left the world a better place than it was when you came into it.

Thirdly, life is chaos. One moment you can be fine, two days from now you might be in hospital wondering if your number is up. I know that's a pretty dark thought but again, it shattered my illusions of control. I'm in control to an extent, but literally anything could happen in my life. Exciting and grim in equal measure.

Well, what a rambling post this is turning into. I guess I'm just interested in knowing how others deal with the knowledge that everything you have strived for will come to a conclusion one day, inevitably. It's an uncomfortable truth but a neccessary one to confront, I feel. Do you just try not to think about it or do you deal with it in a certain way?

Bravery.

Every man has fears/emotions and he braves it out to get things done.

Otherwise your fears/emotions will sabotage you.

Life is simple, don't over complicate it.

 

[Atom Smasher]

If Christianity gave you backbone great. I just don’t like how religion taken blindly can make you even into more of a door mat. If you feel like you aren’t a doormat in life in a certain area you are mistaken. Even something as simple as drinking a sports zero calorie drink with red 40 and sucraose. Congrats your now a doormat of that drink. Anything that isn’t in your self interest and you blindly trust others you are a door mat. The only person with ABsOLUTE certainty you can trust is yourself and your own competency. Harsh but it’s the truth

Religion "taken blindly" would probably make one a doormat. Belief in the bible is not a man-made "religion" but rather a carefully considered assessment of who we are in relation to God, and our desire to be right with him.

The man who trusts himself solely, without ever taking counsel, is the man who eventually finds himself falling into a deep hole as a result of his own blindness to other perspectives.

In all things, balance. Youth understands not this word.