"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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How do you come back to this response?

S

Sam Adams

Don Juan
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For the past two days I have gotten this response from 3 women once I ask for her number. These were all initially cold approaches. I ask them for their number and they say "I'm awfully busy I don't know if I will have time."

The first girl who told it to me, I just stopped and took it as a nice way of saying I'm not interested in you leave me alone. The other two times I just gave the girls a look of yea I don't believe that then I said "I'm sure we can find a time that works well for both of us." Then each girl proceeded to give me her number. I'll find out if they are real when I call them in the coming days.

How should I handle this and what is the overall opinion of my approach so far? The last girl I tried talking to her for longer than I do normally do on a cold approach so that I could build more trust and comfort and she still gave me that line. When I call them I am planning on talking to them longer on the phone than I normally do, then telling them that I am going to go to this place and they can tag along if they want.

Opinions?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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M

MotownMack

Senior Don Juan
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Mar 23, 2008
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I will readily admit that I am not the master of the cold approach-I rarely do it.

My initial thoughts are-

Asking too quickly, you may run into some token resistance since the girl will think you are just doing this to everyone. This is one of their silly ways of qualifying a guy-like it's not enough that you may be cute, well spoken, have balls, etc-but you have to only have interest for her. But, on the other hand, I don't blame them for not wanting to give out a number if they barely know you.

In the cases where you've had a few minutes to develop a little rapport, and she gives you a response like that, I would just take it as them politely telling you they are not interested. Now, this is where I say I am not the greatest at cold approaches-because I move on, where I am sure there are some more sporting DJ's that would not take this as an outright sign to move on. But as I don't want to waste time with someone of low IL, I do just that.

Are these day time approaches? Where are you doing them? I ask because the success rate for these is pretty low, and if you're actually getting to the point where they are conversing with you for a few minutes, then you're doing quite well. You have my respect-it takes balls to do that.

All that being said, don't get discouraged just because you didn't number close on a small sample of 3 women. It sounds like overall, you are doing pretty good.
 
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