"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

How do you change office perception?

The LadyKiller

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 5, 2011
Messages
409
Reaction score
25
I work in an office of many fellow 20-somethings, and the younger environment is nice. However, the workplace can turn into high school quickly. At the moment, I feel I am on the receiving end of some double-standards among my peers, and I'm not sure the best way to go about changing my perception.

Now to be clear, this doesn't involve our supervisors or managers (who see the amateurism and know I'm saying/doing the right things). Just us 20-somethings who are all at about the same level. I consider myself an upbeat/talkative guy who maintains a positive attitude at work. While I seem to know a lot of people and have some very good friends, a number of others feel and act like I'm a mean guy because......wait for it......I occasionally tweak some good-natured, tongue-in-cheek comments about their sports teams! People make fun of my sports affiliations too, but that doesn't bother me at all - what's fair is fair. But what does bother me is that these people start taking personal shots about my height (I'm not tall) or that I must be taking steroids to stay in such good shape (I'm clean) and they get APPLAUDED!? It's gotten to the point that these same peers don't take it seriously when I congratulate them on something. Even though we're all quite similar and some guys I know say offensive and downright mean things, I get the bad rap?

So, how do I best change this cr*p? I can abruptly become quiet and introverted, but that's not who I am. As a recent response to no one telling me what the problem is, I've become somewhat of the office vigilante, but don't think that's a long-term solution. Some of the newer employees at the company have run into some of my snobbier peers, and I'm not afraid to interject and straighten it out. I have enough clout at the company that those peers won't openly challenge me, plus they would be in the wrong. I am also not shy to doing minor pranks (clean, no risk of injury, doesn't affect the workflow) if I receive any flack from those snobbier folks. Keep it fun.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

The LadyKiller

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 5, 2011
Messages
409
Reaction score
25
Ha! You're correct - it's tough. People are set in their ways and are often too stubborn to admit when they've made a mistake. What is an SSRI?

I was confused about what a "encopera cage" is, but found details in one of your earlier posts. Exactly true. I work in a corporate environment where, due to location, most of our friends are also ones we work with.
 
Top