How do you best respond to this sort of flake?

[pvf94]

A girl asks you to hangout on a given day....you agree to it but the next day you find out you have something that you HAVE to do so you have to call off the date and re-reschedule. She agrees and counter offered a couple other day's and I picked one......as that day nears closer I double check to see if she is still game to hangout on that day and she says yes unless something comes up that she has no control over.

Sooooo the day rolls around and I was talking to her on msn the night before...and said "What time should I give you a call tomm?" She said "Like I said I don't know if it's a for sure thing tomorrow, but you can call whenever you want"

I responded with "Oh okay, well just give me a call when you find out and if I don't recieve a call by say 4pm I will assume you are busy."

She said ok and that was that.


Never got a call, didn't hangout. We both have tickets and have planned to go to a concert together for the past month....id like to hangout with her once before the concert so I can kiss close.....her girlfriend will be at the concert with us and I think that will prevent me from kiss closing.

How do I deal with this?

 

[Bvbidd]

Never wait for her to call you, it'll never happen if she's not your girlfriend.

 

[pvf94]

Even if she has interest?

 

[Bvbidd]

Yeah. Unless she's an actual good friend and is obligated to call you. This girl is still deciding on you, she won't initiate anything yet.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I've had a girl, very cute btw, say that she'd call me back in 45 minutes, and, She did. She called back and asked me what day do I want to go out this weekend. I said both Friday and Sunday. She said that she could only go one day, so I begrudgingly chose Friday. I really wanted to Be with her. Well, two days later, the day of the date, she called it off. How's That for flaking?

 

[pvf94]

Ah I have hungout with her 3 times and Didn't kiss close....she did have high interest. But it had faded for sure.

I think I have 1 more chance....even if it is the concert.

 

[DJsomeday]

dude don't think so much about her, have you read the DJ Bible?

If her interest have faded just start ignoring her and spinning more plates, if she comes back because of jealousy or hidden interest then GREAT!, if not then NEXT! and it doesn't matter because you have backup girls! see? it's a win/win situation or a win/not lose if you will

 

[tsmith2334]

If her interest have faded just start ignoring her and spinning more plates, if she comes back because of jealousy or hidden interest then GREAT!, if not then NEXT! and it doesn't matter because you have backup girls! see? it's a win/win situation or a win/not lose if you will

great advice, the only thing i have to add to that is if you're still kind of interested maybe casually hit her up about hanging out down the road... not too far down the line but just after you've explored some other options... if she says yes and you can rekindle things great, if not, there's always next time

 

[pvf94]

I got this comment on myspace in the morning from her.

"3 more days!

btw i hope ur not mad at me about yesterday i just got really busy :/
sorry!"

3 more days = 3 more days till the concert.


Respond to it or just let it sit?

 

[SickAgain]

You need to send subtle hints that you want to get with her, but don't creep her out. Don't let her excuses and apologies make her look innocent. Because it looks like you're on the verge of friend zone.

 

[pvf94]

You need to send subtle hints that you want to get with her, but don't creep her out. Don't let her excuses and apologies make her look innocent. Because it looks like you're on the verge of friend zone.

and how do I do that? She know's damn well I wanna hang with her cuz I have asked. Now she apoligizes for yesterday's flakeish behavior.....how do I respond to her apology? Just let it sit and let her wonder if I even care?


I might as well just toss her on the back burner. Even though I still have that concert to go to with her...but im going by myself and then meeting up with her when I get there....make her beg for my attention?

 

[Altruist]

and how do I do that? She know's damn well I wanna hang with her cuz I have asked. Now she apoligizes for yesterday's flakeish behavior.....how do I respond to her apology? Just let it sit and let her wonder if I even care?


I might as well just toss her on the back burner. Even though I still have that concert to go to with her...but im going by myself and then meeting up with her when I get there....make her beg for my attention?

just go and have a good time. she will recognize that you don't need her to have a good time. and that = confidence.

 

[pvf94]

Should I still meet up with her at the show?

 

[tsmith2334]

Should I still meet up with her at the show?

I would. I mean your interested aren't you? Why wouldn't you want to spend time with her? Play it cool though.

 

[pvf94]

I would. I mean your interested aren't you? Why wouldn't you want to spend time with her? Play it cool though.

Because she has ditched out on me twice in the past 3 weeks with the same busy excuse.

I feel a bit resentful/bitter towards her behavior...realizing she really could care less then a piss about my time.

Though her interest level was high at one point...

Ill be sure to look SHARP and smell amazing when I go to the concert. And Ill be on my a game, her friend will be there too. This will be the pre-lude to me hanging out with her again in the future. I might be able to salvage the low interest level and raise it at the concert.

if nothing happens after the concert or she doesn't seem to want to hangout again ill just let it fade away.

Atleast ill get to see my favorite band.

 

[Altruist]

​

.

Atleast ill get to see my favorite band.

Thats the way to look at it. Now give me advice in my thread. I need help

 

[SickAgain]

If you bought her the ticket you might want to ask for it back and go with someone you know you'll have a good time with. If she blew you off twice in 3 weeks, that isn't a good sign at all. Because usually when someone blows you off and it's not their fault they make up for it the next day or something.

 

[Snow Plowman]

First of all you reconfirmed your plans...not good, a cool guy who has abundance mentality doesn't need to reconfirm the plans, just call and tell her your out front, or ask for her address and tell her your on her way.

If she flakes just be unaffected by it, a cool guy doesn't care if a chick flakes cause he can do something else.

 

[pvf94]

As for now I haven't responded or talked to her....she made an attempt to say sorry through myspace with a "comment" But I didn't comment back or anything.

She's going to have to work for my attention now, apparently she didn't appreciate it before.

Sound appropriate?

Oh, and snow...we bought our own tickets...she invited me. Offered to buy my ticket for me a while ago when she had high interest. I ended up buying my own.

Edit: She just sent me a message on myspace, I think ill just leave it as unread for the night....and comment some other girls and make it look like im talking to everyone but her....ya?

 

[pvf94]

Bumpppity bump.

I think ill read her message she sent me in a few hours....but I'm unsure of how to respond to it...the possibility that it has something to do with " Are you mad at me" Or something along those lines is high. Do I just respond to it as if im not affected or upset at all? I would rather not make things awkward for the concert....but if its something that must be done I will....I don't want to be her puppet either by basically letting her feel that it is ok to set up something with me and then not even give me a courtesy call when she knows it is not going to happen.

To recap...she did say sorry through a myspace comment, and I posted a bulletin later in the night saying "Hot apple cider and a blanket care to join?" Im predicting her message says something about that and THEN cuts into "are you mad at me, or why are you ignoring me"

I got a few moves I could make, but I don't know which is the best....give me your opinion/take on the scenerio please.