"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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How do you become more outgoing at bars?

Muppet

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I like going out and drinking, but I just stand there like a moron most time, people always ask me whats wrong, why are you not having a good time, I am but I wish I was more full of energy, I suck at dancing and im almost always scared to dance, even after I have had a few drinks I just don't have the balls to go out and dance, and no idea why. I know 99% of the people could care less how bad I dance.

Also if say I am out with a friend and their friend, if my friend has to goto the bathroom or something and it's just me and her friend I just sit there watching tv. Unless someone talks to me about a hobby of mine, which few have the same hobbys I don't know what to talk about or say.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Put bars on the backburner for a while. Start having conversations with people at work.
 

The Librarian

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I managed to come out of my shell by playing darts. The dartboards at my favorite bar (and keep in mind, I'm in a very small town) only allow two teams. I go out in a group that's odd number, so we always need to find an extra player to get even teams. Rather than having someone play twice, I decided to start going out and getting other people to play with us. It turned out to be a pretty successful tactic for helping me get used to talking to random people at the bar.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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The Librarian said:
I managed to come out of my shell by playing darts. The dartboards at my favorite bar (and keep in mind, I'm in a very small town) only allow two teams. I go out in a group that's odd number, so we always need to find an extra player to get even teams. Rather than having someone play twice, I decided to start going out and getting other people to play with us. It turned out to be a pretty successful tactic for helping me get used to talking to random people at the bar.
Do women play darts much here in the states? Those I've seen mostly have been in Ireland or London; but then again I don't hang out in pubs often.
 

bman

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Do women play darts much here in the states? Those I've seen mostly have been in Ireland or London; but then again I don't hang out in pubs often.
yeah they usually do, i like going to bars and play darts on first dates, its always better than sitting there and gives you a better chance to flirt.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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bman said:
yeah they usually do, i like going to bars and play darts on first dates, its always better than sitting there and gives you a better chance to flirt.
So how you go about going beyond just flirting while playing?
 

penkitten

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how do you become more outgoing in bars?
you become drunk...
wonka wonka wonka
 
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