Ok ive dated girls but never ones ive had to ask out first. They would usually come up to me. but i kind of like this girl and want to ask her out. so when i call her today what should i say? She i ask her if she wants to go do whatever (i think of where later) or should i say we should go do so and so tonight? I dont want to seem overbearing or anything i just want a smooth way to do it. i hung out with her before but she asked me to go. I think shes just waiting for me to call her and ask her out (not %100 sure though). whats the best way to approach this?
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
how do you ask a girl out on a date with confidence??
- Thread starter jigga23
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
The last time I asked a girl out, it went something like this:
Me: Are you doing anything tonight (or Wednesday or Thursday or Friday)?
Me: (If she says no) I planned on going to blah blah blah. I was wondering if you like to join me?
Me: Are you doing anything tonight (or Wednesday or Thursday or Friday)?
Me: (If she says no) I planned on going to blah blah blah. I was wondering if you like to join me?
Say "Hey, I'm going to <blank> tonight. You want to come along?"
And it doesn't matter if you're not 100% sure if she wants you to call. Just call anyway.
And don't worry about being overbearing. You'll do fine.
And it doesn't matter if you're not 100% sure if she wants you to call. Just call anyway.
And don't worry about being overbearing. You'll do fine.
what?
I suggest you don't ask her out until you know you're a human being that anyone would be thrilled to spend time with doing an activity that's interesting and/or fun.
We all see girls that we find attractive. We either approach, or not. If we approach, we will know what's what. If we do not, we're left wondering if we had what it would have taken. (and apparently, we didn't)
Don't think about it - just go talk to them, say hello. Be brief, and be clear. You want to know more about her on your terms. Easy enough, glance, then advance, then romance. (or, in her pants, depending on your motivation)
I suggest you don't ask her out until you know you're a human being that anyone would be thrilled to spend time with doing an activity that's interesting and/or fun.
We all see girls that we find attractive. We either approach, or not. If we approach, we will know what's what. If we do not, we're left wondering if we had what it would have taken. (and apparently, we didn't)
Don't think about it - just go talk to them, say hello. Be brief, and be clear. You want to know more about her on your terms. Easy enough, glance, then advance, then romance. (or, in her pants, depending on your motivation)
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
This is the basis best line in the world. You can use it for any event, at any time with any type of woman. It's simple to say and has the air of a quiet confidence.Capitol39 said:
I even add a quick 10 second sell on what we'd do and why she'd have a good time. I will actually say "you'll have fun." If she's into you she'll give you a counter if she's busy; but then again any woman who's interested will do that.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
theSpeculator
Senior Don Juan
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- Dec 16, 2004
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It's not what you say, but how you say it.jigga23 said:
Just ask her however you want...ie "Wanna go out sometime?" It doesn't matter what you say as long as you're confident it will always come out right.
jackie_legs
Don Juan
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Juan_Man said:
I liked that.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
look.. when a girl is talking to you, you have to, and I stress HAVE to, assume that she wants you. She has SoME interest, otherwise she woudln't be wasting her time with you at the present moment. It's up to you to make the best of that moment.
anyway, asking a girl out. The trick is, you don't ask.
This is me.. and I actually get alot of heat for the way I feel about it, but hey, what can I do, it's me.
First of all, I seriously, don't have time, and even if I did, I wouldn't, to widdle my way around her schedule. I usually have 1, maybe 2 nights a week open.. she has to get in where she fits in.
I will usually tell her that I will pick her up on X date at X time. If she asks what we are doing I tell her she will see when she gets picked up.
If she makes up an excuse, I am actually nerved that she didn't accecpt my gracious offer. Unless she has a legit excuse, which does happen from time to time, I will say forget it and move on.
however, that hardly does happen. Most of the time I don't even setup dates.. I go on dates without even knowing it. I will meet a girl and we will be taking and I will say lets go, I am hungry, so lets go get a bite to eat. I grab my ****, she grabs her ****.. next thing you know she is following me to a resturant or she is with me.. bam.. date.
If you are at a bar, and you meet a girl, a simple change of venunes can count for a "date" if played right.
See, I have a problem with sterotypical "dating".. it's too much of a rat race. Anygirl, regardless if she likes you or not, is going to be more hesitiant becaus e now she is going on a "date" with this new guy, has a week or so to pounder what to do, what is he going to be like, am I going to like him.. a woman can think her way out of not liking you if she has enough time.
of course, there are different ways to play it. If I suggest going somewhere else (I never do it just to do it, I usually do it for a reason, like I really am hungry) I will tell her that I am a pretty busy person, so I don't know when I might be able to catch up with them, but I will get their number and try. Again, this doesn't happen often, but it's a low sign of interest.
A simple "hey, be ready tonight at x oclock, I'm picking you up to go somewhere" is fine enough, at least in my book.. if she doesn't like it, screw it
anyway, asking a girl out. The trick is, you don't ask.
This is me.. and I actually get alot of heat for the way I feel about it, but hey, what can I do, it's me.
First of all, I seriously, don't have time, and even if I did, I wouldn't, to widdle my way around her schedule. I usually have 1, maybe 2 nights a week open.. she has to get in where she fits in.
I will usually tell her that I will pick her up on X date at X time. If she asks what we are doing I tell her she will see when she gets picked up.
If she makes up an excuse, I am actually nerved that she didn't accecpt my gracious offer. Unless she has a legit excuse, which does happen from time to time, I will say forget it and move on.
however, that hardly does happen. Most of the time I don't even setup dates.. I go on dates without even knowing it. I will meet a girl and we will be taking and I will say lets go, I am hungry, so lets go get a bite to eat. I grab my ****, she grabs her ****.. next thing you know she is following me to a resturant or she is with me.. bam.. date.
If you are at a bar, and you meet a girl, a simple change of venunes can count for a "date" if played right.
See, I have a problem with sterotypical "dating".. it's too much of a rat race. Anygirl, regardless if she likes you or not, is going to be more hesitiant becaus e now she is going on a "date" with this new guy, has a week or so to pounder what to do, what is he going to be like, am I going to like him.. a woman can think her way out of not liking you if she has enough time.
of course, there are different ways to play it. If I suggest going somewhere else (I never do it just to do it, I usually do it for a reason, like I really am hungry) I will tell her that I am a pretty busy person, so I don't know when I might be able to catch up with them, but I will get their number and try. Again, this doesn't happen often, but it's a low sign of interest.
A simple "hey, be ready tonight at x oclock, I'm picking you up to go somewhere" is fine enough, at least in my book.. if she doesn't like it, screw it
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
look.. when a girl is talking to you, you have to, and I stress HAVE to, assume that she wants you. She has SoME interest, otherwise she woudln't be wasting her time with you at the present moment. It's up to you to make the best of that moment.
anyway, asking a girl out. The trick is, you don't ask.
This is me.. and I actually get alot of heat for the way I feel about it, but hey, what can I do, it's me.
First of all, I seriously, don't have time, and even if I did, I wouldn't, to widdle my way around her schedule. I usually have 1, maybe 2 nights a week open.. she has to get in where she fits in.
I will usually tell her that I will pick her up on X date at X time. If she asks what we are doing I tell her she will see when she gets picked up.
If she makes up an excuse, I am actually nerved that she didn't accecpt my gracious offer. Unless she has a legit excuse, which does happen from time to time, I will say forget it and move on.
however, that hardly does happen. Most of the time I don't even setup dates.. I go on dates without even knowing it. I will meet a girl and we will be taking and I will say lets go, I am hungry, so lets go get a bite to eat. I grab my ****, she grabs her ****.. next thing you know she is following me to a resturant or she is with me.. bam.. date.
If you are at a bar, and you meet a girl, a simple change of venunes can count for a "date" if played right.
See, I have a problem with sterotypical "dating".. it's too much of a rat race. Anygirl, regardless if she likes you or not, is going to be more hesitiant becaus e now she is going on a "date" with this new guy, has a week or so to pounder what to do, what is he going to be like, am I going to like him.. a woman can think her way out of not liking you if she has enough time.
of course, there are different ways to play it. If I suggest going somewhere else (I never do it just to do it, I usually do it for a reason, like I really am hungry) I will tell her that I am a pretty busy person, so I don't know when I might be able to catch up with them, but I will get their number and try. Again, this doesn't happen often, but it's a low sign of interest.
A simple "hey, be ready tonight at x oclock, I'm picking you up to go somewhere" is fine enough, at least in my book.. if she doesn't like it, screw it
anyway, asking a girl out. The trick is, you don't ask.
This is me.. and I actually get alot of heat for the way I feel about it, but hey, what can I do, it's me.
First of all, I seriously, don't have time, and even if I did, I wouldn't, to widdle my way around her schedule. I usually have 1, maybe 2 nights a week open.. she has to get in where she fits in.
I will usually tell her that I will pick her up on X date at X time. If she asks what we are doing I tell her she will see when she gets picked up.
If she makes up an excuse, I am actually nerved that she didn't accecpt my gracious offer. Unless she has a legit excuse, which does happen from time to time, I will say forget it and move on.
however, that hardly does happen. Most of the time I don't even setup dates.. I go on dates without even knowing it. I will meet a girl and we will be taking and I will say lets go, I am hungry, so lets go get a bite to eat. I grab my ****, she grabs her ****.. next thing you know she is following me to a resturant or she is with me.. bam.. date.
If you are at a bar, and you meet a girl, a simple change of venunes can count for a "date" if played right.
See, I have a problem with sterotypical "dating".. it's too much of a rat race. Anygirl, regardless if she likes you or not, is going to be more hesitiant becaus e now she is going on a "date" with this new guy, has a week or so to pounder what to do, what is he going to be like, am I going to like him.. a woman can think her way out of not liking you if she has enough time.
of course, there are different ways to play it. If I suggest going somewhere else (I never do it just to do it, I usually do it for a reason, like I really am hungry) I will tell her that I am a pretty busy person, so I don't know when I might be able to catch up with them, but I will get their number and try. Again, this doesn't happen often, but it's a low sign of interest.
A simple "hey, be ready tonight at x oclock, I'm picking you up to go somewhere" is fine enough, at least in my book.. if she doesn't like it, screw it
jigga23,
I don't favor the advice of the majority because they are not congruent to their intention.
The truth is you like her and you want to date her, why are you afraid to let her know that? Be honest with her, and more importantly be honest with yourself. Call her and say:
Hi, this is (name), I like to take you out on a date this weekend. I think you're a really nice girl and I like to get to know you better.
Don't be passive and say things like "I'm going here tonight, wanna come along". Be true to yourself. There is nothing wrong with showing your interest.
I don't favor the advice of the majority because they are not congruent to their intention.
The truth is you like her and you want to date her, why are you afraid to let her know that? Be honest with her, and more importantly be honest with yourself. Call her and say:
Hi, this is (name), I like to take you out on a date this weekend. I think you're a really nice girl and I like to get to know you better.
Don't be passive and say things like "I'm going here tonight, wanna come along". Be true to yourself. There is nothing wrong with showing your interest.
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.