How do u respond to "friday?, yeah I'm free, I'll call you"

[skinnydart]

It seems that everytime I ask a girl out she replies by saying something like "Friday evening?, yeah I'm free, that'll be fun, I'll call you sometime before to let you know though".

I've heard this is always a red flag when a girl tells you this, but is it something I'm doing or do they just all have low IL? Sometimes they just don't call back too.

It's really annoying, I usually call on a Wednesday evening to ask her out for Friday, what's a good way to repond to this, basicly telling her no, I want to set up the date now, without sounding like a jerk about it but being firm, maybe a little C&F?

 

[tyciol]

It's okay to be assertive, but a lot of girls can have busy schedules so she could be telling the truth, a lot of things come up.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Quit playing into the BS. Tell her that you'd be out with someone else by the time she called, that's why you're giving her the chance to to have a block of my time. If she was so fvcking busy, she would have told you she was busy. She's just waiting for a better offer.

 

[sfalexi]

How about, "Hmmm. It's wednesday already and if you wanna set something up I suggest you do it now. Otherwise your spot might be filled in by the time you ask."

Just an idea.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

honestly..if the chick is REALLY into you and her IL is high enough..she'd have Friday WAYYYY open for you. She should take it as an opportunity of a lifetime. Like Fransisco said, sounds like she's just waiting for something else better to come along.

Honestly...everybody uses the 2 day rule. Or the "call on weds, hook up a date for friday" routine.

If you want to test the girls interest level...break these rules and catch her off guard. If she is REALLY into you, it wouldnt matter when you set up the date. Even if you met her that night.

Make a joke of it, call the girl the next day:

"Hey..I know I just met you last night at club Big Nuts..and I KNOW everybody waits the standard 2-3 days before calling so they don't seem needy or whatever. But, the next couple weeks are going to be REALLY busy for me with school/work ect. I'd like to get to know ya better, but, dont want you to think I'm some kind of jerk that wouldnt call you. So..let's meet up today for dinner and drinks at that hot new lounge downtown."

You are comming correct, laying out the plan...and most importantly, testing out her IL. I know the DJB tells guys to wait before calling to make her IL rise in you...but...EVERYBODY waits 2-3 days to call. Women know this and aren't at all surprised when you do call on Weds. What WILL surprise her is when you call the next day...change it up. You WON'T come off needy if you let her know straight up that you are a busy man, and that she HAS to compete for your time...or its her loss.

If she still flakes and doesn't make a counter-offer .....NEXT THE BIATCH!

 

[RedKnight04]

First off why are you asking a girl out on a weekend? 99.9% of the time they'll have plans or other highly possible arrangements. It just adds even more pressure to her having a fun time on your watch.

Second, I would say this...

"Well I'm going to need to know now or atleast a day in advance so I can make other plans. If you don't do that you're disrespecting me and disrespecting my time and I'm NOT going to put up with it. If you can live with that rule, great... if not goodbye." (Hang up the phone here)

Usually you'll get a call back 5 minutes later with her asking you out. This is drastic I know, I've been their because your really putting her in her place. If she had any IL in the first place this would not of even been a problem. If you don't get phoned back then you know she is a flaking lesbo anyways so drop it.

 

[PRMoon]

Usually when a girl tells me she'll get back to me I keep it in mind, but I usually don't expect too much of anything.

A lot of the time I'm plesently suprised and the girl will call me later to confirm a place and time and what not.

More often then not though I'll call a girl the night I want to go out and con her into going out even if she already has plans. You can get girls to change their minds no problem if you present yourself in the right way. There are other times when they're just off guard and open to suggestion, either way people in general can be told what to do when you present something in a manner that seems good or doesn't allow for careful thought.

 

[skinnydart]

Maybe that's part of my problem, they don't have super high IL and I know it, none of them do or have. In fact, I've never dated a girl that has high IL, so I guess I'm more willing to put up with things since I really don't have anything else to do that Friday. I usually don't have problems getting numbers and then when I call and ask them out, they're always eager to do it, but after the first date I start getting bs about why they can't do it that day.

 

[Fred Da Head]

The whole "if she had high IL she'd open her schedule for you" argument is retarded.

Guys, I know a bunch of you have no lives, but c'mon, those who do know that sometimes you're WAY too busy to go on dates. Why not assume normal girls have lives too?

If a girl asked you out on a date, would you drop everything in your schedule to go out with her? I think not. Why do you assume that if you ask her out, she'll do the opposite?

Now, I agree that most of the time, girls will blow you off by saying they'll call you, and they just don't call. BUT, if they tell you they're busy ONCE, why the **** do you freak out and go "drop that girl"? Oh, and don't ask girls out on weekends unless there's something specific you two want to do. Most people are busy on weekends.

BTW, anybody ever try not calling for a while (say, a week or two) instead of two days?

 

[midwestguy]

The girl I liked at work does the same thing to me. Lame excuses. Really lame.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=68718

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Originally posted by Fred Da Head
The whole "if she had high IL she'd open her schedule for you" argument is retarded.

Guys, I know a bunch of you have no lives, but c'mon, those who do know that sometimes you're WAY too busy to go on dates. Why not assume normal girls have lives too?

Are you kidding bud? Interest level determines everything. If she is genuinely interested and genuinely busy...she would do one of two things.

1) She would open up her schedule.
or
2)Give you a counter offer.

From what skinnydart posted, the girls he was comming in contact with were doing NEITHER. So think about this for a second. Let's just say you have plans to shot hoops with the fellas on a Friday night...and Miss Jessica Alba/HB10 so happens to call you up and has this night to kick it with you. I'm sure you'd drop your boys like a heartbeat. And if you couldn't open up time, I'm sure you'd counter offer with the quickness because who wouldn't have HIGH IL in Jessica Alba/HB10. And if miss pig faced 5 chick asked you out on a busy night, you wouldnt hesistate to tell her you were busy. Would you counter offer? HELL NO...B/C your IL is lower than dirt.

These women weren't giving any counter offers or change in their schedule...interest level was low..so a NEXT is in order or you're just wasting time with excuses.

Originally posted by Fred Da Head

BTW, anybody ever try not calling for a while (say, a week or two) instead of two days?

Try it bud. People think the longer you wait, the more interest you will build in her for you. Wait that long and your girl won't even answer the phone because a fella like myself will have her sitting on my face.

Its about reading IL, timing, and being straight forward with your actions. No BS, no SS patterns, no traps, no snares.

Now I'm out to hit the clubs...have fun fellas.

 

[Fred Da Head]

Originally posted by -HPNOTIQ-
1) She would open up her schedule.
or
2)Give you a counter offer.

From what skinnydart posted, the girls he was comming in contact with were doing NEITHER.

Yah, I forgot to mention counteroffers. Thing is, some girls will say they can't go but ask if you can reschedule, without actually offering another time. Sometimes they'll have allright IL, sometimes their IL will be low, but it's not that big a deal.

As for not calling for a while, it seems to work sometimes. Heck, I even got a date off a girl I hadn't called for months. BUT, yah, it's usually best to call within a short timeframe.

Oh, btw, if you drop plans you'd made a while before with your friends, because a girl you might or might not bang called you at the last minute to go out, you need to review your priorities. I don't know about you, but my friends are more important than random girls. My friends will be there for me when the going gets tough, but girls won't.

 

[Avatar]

Originally posted by Fred Da Head
Oh, btw, if you drop plans you'd made a while before with your friends, because a girl you might or might not bang called you at the last minute to go out, you need to review your priorities. I don't know about you, but my friends are more important than random girls. My friends will be there for me when the going gets tough, but girls won't.

I'd go for the chick instead of hanging with guys. I guess I'm not as good of a friend.

 

[Donald Kaufman]

IMHO

You didn't say much about the set up for the "I'll call you later."

After reading the style you have taken here I think your call would go something like:

skinnydart: ... so, I was wondering if you'd like to do something Friday night?

her: Well, we'll see ...

Sounds OK but a little wishy washy. You are not definite so she doesn't know exactly what you want and feels free to be indefinite herself.

skinnydart: ... so, I was thinking of playing pool and getting something to eat at "whatever" at 8 pm.

her: I'm not really into pool...

skinnydart: They have darts too. I have a couple other things that aren't really firm right now so I need to know before other people get back to me.

It doesn't sound like you would be comfortableconfronting them this early on so you don't have t force the issue but have left the option open if she starts to flake. When you say something specific but not harsh she only has a few options.

1. no
2. quibble over details
3. yes
4. go wishy washy

if 1. move on unless there is counter offer
if 2. show some flexibility but be able to control next set of options
if 3. np
if 4. You weren't pushy, you weren't weak. She is much more likely showing low IL or overly "win oriented" gamesmanship. You get to decide if you want to tighten your game and start even harsher on your next pass in a couple weeks or decide she isn't worth the trouble.

If you start harsh she either has to be harsher or capitulate. If you start reasonably she either has to be reasonable or unreasonable. I have found knowing the latter to be more useful then the former.

Some people find hostility to be their main turn on. It can be, but not every day.

 

[skinnydart]

For example, one of the convos went like this:

Me: Hey Sara, this is skinny, how have you been?
Her: O hey skinny! O school blah blah and work blah blah
Me: I was just calling to see if you wanted to go see x school play this Friday?
Her: O yeah, I love plays, that'll be fun!
Me: Ok, well how about I pick you up at your dorm at 6:00 and we'll go get some dinner before?
Her: Ok, cool, well I'll call you.

And then Friday rolls around she calls and says:
"yeah, I'm not going to be able to make it today, I hope this didn't mess anything up with your scedule, but we'll have to do it another time."

I would just say "low il, next", seeing that she has done that twice now, but right after the 1st date she had e-mailed me and said:

"I enjoyed our time last friday (date) and I didn't know if I had a chance to tell you. I got to learn more about you and find you interesting to keep up the good work I guess and we'll have to go catch that play soon."

So I dont' know what to do.

 

[Donald Kaufman]

I'm guessing low interest. Don't next her just focus on other girls and things might change when you don't have time for her. By then you may or may not have high interest.