How do u relax and not look uptight?

[Kourt]

Alright i'll give you the background first.

Tonight I was at the club doin some bump/grind with a few hbs. One hb8 was sitting down and I approached her and said "hey wanna go catch a dance?" she said yes and then we went to the dance floor and started up the bump/grind routine. She told me "i've been looking for someone to dance with all night!" which kind of struck me as odd seeing how she was pretty hot. Anyway, she was an awsome dancer and after a song one of her friends who was stilll sitting at the table came up to me and told me to relax and roll my shoulders. I did and she was like there you go. My body language was uptight due to my dancin with a chic I felt was greater than the equivilent of my own looks and a couple years older. I didnt even realize I was uptight until her friend told me and then I was able to truely relax. Then her friend joined in a I got to be in the middle of the 2 hotties which was pretty sweet. Anyway now to the question. How should you go about the looking smooth, relaxed, and carefree instead of looking uptight? I think the best solution would be drinking, but i'm 18 so thats not an available solution unfortunatly. Suggestions, comments and constructive criticisms are welcome.

 

[Grey Fox]

Man just think about those two hot chicks how can you be nervous when you think of that.

-Grey Fox

 

[So pimp its scary]

Here's the best solution that I can think of at the moment...

1 - Think of the person that embodies this smooth relaxed calm look that your after.

2 - Think of what they look like. Are there shoulders slumped? Straight like a board? Or somewhere in the middle?

Is he breathing slowly? Super-fast? Or calmly and smoothly?

Now look at his eyes. Are they a fixed stare? Are they darting from left to right? Are they smiling? Angry? Or just casually gazing at the scenery?

Next, his gestures. Are they forced? Are the subtle? Or does it look natural?

3 - Once you figure out what his body looks like, try holding that same posture, that same breathing pattern, the same look, the same gestures.

4 - Now go back to your usual look... QUICKLY!

5 - Now, as fast as possible go back to the cool relaxed posture.

6 - Back to normal.

7 - Back relaxed.

8 - Now give your body a little shake, stretch, and then go into the relaxed cool look.

Allright... if you actually do this, notice how you feel when you do it. If you don't notice anything, it's cause you didn't do it fast enough.

This comes from the principle that 'emotion is created by motion'. Try getting into sales, and you will definately hear that phrase. What it means is that how you hold your body affects how you feel.

How is this going to help you?

Well, knowing this on your own might help you to tell yourself, "Hey, I've got my normal stressed posture going on... I wanna be relaxed." Then to get into that mode... but better yet.

1 - Get into the state where you are completely relaxed and at ease, like you wanted.

2 - Make sure you FEEL it as intensely, and as fully as possible.

3 - Squeeze your shoulder or your arm, or some unique gesture, or shout a word to yourself... something you wouldn't normally do, that is intense.

4 - Repeat about 10-12 times, using the exact same gesture.

Why am I doing this?

If you do this properly, you will create what is called an anchor with that gesture that, when 'activated', will make you feel the emotions that you were feeling at the same time that you created the anchor... Useful, isn't it?

Unfortunately the only way you'll know is if you do it for yourself.

 

[Kourt]

I didnt feel nervous, my body language just shouted stressed I think

and thanks for the tip so pimp i'll try that

 

[AMF]

Just slow everything down