"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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how do u make date arrangements with a girl on phone who wont stop talking?

drift king

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i called this HB to make 1st date arrangements with her and she just wouldn't stop talking.. on and on and on.. everytime i tried to get a word in it be on the subject matter at hand, when i eventually did get round to making the time arrangements she tells me shes busy the rest of the weekend and cos of her profession as a teacher she has to do so much prep after school has finished for the next day so her only time off is school holidays.

i thought BS she's just flaking, then her battery was dying she informed me of this 10 mins before, then when i kept going into making a time arrangement she'd somehow talk about it change the topic and go on and on about her topic for another 10 mins, i was on the phone with her for nearly an hour and just couldn't get a word in. then when i finally setting up the time her battery dies..

grrr.. i'd have assumed she'd put it in the charger straight away so i can call her back, she either did, but didn't turn her phone on. maybe to avoid the rest of the convo?

i felt so LJBF'd listening to her that whole time.. i tried calling back but it just went to voicemail again and again. do u reckon she just didn't bother turning her phone back on cos she didn't want to set up a time?

i should at least get an apology from her tomorrow for her battery dying. i feel LJBF'd after an hour of nonsense convo with her.

i tried to be slick and say we'll meet for just an hour, it was too much of her lack of time and me being too available, i'll call again on sunday but she really should call me back.

i called at 8.45pm do u think i could have been slicker and just tried to meet up with her there and then rather than listen to her for an hour?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Gangster Of Love

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Someguys complaing when a a girl(s) they are into puts out quickly/esily, while others complain when the girls they are intrested is not making an effort at all. Let's bottom line this whole thing, once and for all:

If girls are consistently sleeping with you very early, it is not them, it is YOU who's creating that attraction and making them want you. You have reached the point where most girls just can't help themselves.

If girls are consistently flaking on you, giving you LJBF's, and avoiding you like the plague, it is YOU who is causing this by not creating enough attraction, and they can't wait to ge rid of you and/or with you'd stop trying so hard.
 

drift king

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but that doesn't answer my question with this 1.. as soon as i started talking to her for the next 20 mins it was a running monologue..

are you suppose to cut her short and say.. look i need to get going but lets meet up at (time).

i tried to do that but she was 'busy' next few days.. god. i duno how to create attraction on the phone.. it just went on and on and on.. i should have just told her i was coming round and we'd go out there and then.

she probably would have made some reason not to 'im not changed or im tired etc' it is after new years eve but still, nightmare.
 

R1_test pilot

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I have a rule for talking to the chicks on the phone.
1: Never Talk longer than it takes to Fvck them.
2: always "I've got to go: To end the convo, YOU end it, not them.
3:If she keeps yapping ( I give it 3 min tops ), I will tell her I'm heading out for the night, I'll call the next afternoon to make a time for a meet up. END THE CONVO.

I have been in your shoes way too many times....Keep in mind you are a date, not her girlfriend...
 

drift king

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yes exactly! that's what i was thinking but i didn't want to interrupt her cos i have a tendency to talk over people which is considered rude

im just annoyed that after listening to her for 1/2 an hour and then trying to arrange a time she tells me she's busy tonight tomorrow, and sunday and generally busy but 1 evening we 'could' meet up..

i was like wtf?? how is me listening to u for 1/2 an hour lowered your IL, i was thinking is it cos she's LJBF'ing you and you are doing nothing about it to stop it?

so she's in control. that lowers her IL and friend-zones you. i just couldn't understand why she was giving me so much friction, they say that if a girl is interested she'll make it very easy for u to meet up, but this 1 was straight out blank.. i was p1ssed off cos she's a teacher and 'needs' to prepare for school the next day so she's never out except holidays and random sat nights.. i was thinking this sounds like such BS so i start interrogating her about it about why it takes her so long to prepare class each night for the next day for f-ing 7 year olds!! it makes no sense, then she's like 'trust me all my friends says the same thing blah blah'

i just felt angry cos i messed up somehow and i dont know where apart from listening for 1/2 an hour.. i guess i came across too available cos if i offer a time then ask another time, and she spews out shes busy blah blah this day and that day.. i've run out of cards, she should have at least offered a time but she didn't. so i was stumped. i should have just ended the convo.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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SharinganUser

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If you still want a date with this girl. call her up, set one up and end the conversation there. If she can't make it, then just say "ok some other time" and NEXT her.
 

Metacomet

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This is pretty typical of some women.

She just wants attention... someone to listen to her and absorb her as if her life is so terribly interesting.

The best thing you can do is tell her you have to go and simply called to arrange a date. PERIOD.

Tip-toeing around on the phone only makes things painful and drags them out forever. If you have to interrupt and say, "Listen, shutup a second" then DO IT. It might offend her a little bit but the WORST THING IS TO SIT AND ABSORB.

People with loud mouths who talk forever will NOT stop until the audience gets tired and leaves. Period.

Ever seen the guy at a party who will chat to his one friend for over an hour, simply because it gets him attention? The friend is not interested: the friend wants to leave - but the friend has no balls. He is a beta male and his loudmouth friend is attempting to be alpha.

Women are the same way. If you sit and let her chat your ear off you are quickly falling into role as a purse-holder.

Loudmouth attention *****s NEED a purse-holder or someone to sit and listen to them. If you play that role for them for even a few minutes they WILL take advantage and it's up to you to break away.

This is important not just for talking to women on the phone but for life in general.... do not let people chat your ear off. They aren't important - they aren't interesting - you deserve better.
 

drift king

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see following on from this scenario.. i should mention that her battery died after talking for nearly an hour..

what i thought was quite rude was that she didn't even put it in the charger to continue the call (maybe she didn't have it with her) still i thought some acknowledgment of the call ending abruptly was called for despite her warning me 2 secs before it cut out..

anyway as i 'assumed' she'd plug it in a charge straight away i called back straight away (it went to voicemail, so wasn't in charge yet) then after 2mins (it went straight to voicemail again) then i tried again about 5 mins later (same thing) i decided that i'd give it 1 more try before calling it a day.. so i tried again 1/2 hour later.. still went to voicemail.

unfortunately.. mobile networks here send the recipient a text message saying 'you have 4 missed calls from so and so person' i forgot about this and realised it would look bad when she sees it when her phone finally turned on, i also sent a text message telling her how it have been better we'd met that night seeing as she would be busy from next week on.

anyway i only realised after that she'd receive 2 texts from me, 1 i sent and 1 the network sent saying i called 4 times.. :-s uh oh. the network is working against me..

the text didn't deliver till 11am the next morning so u would have thought she'd at least dignify it with a response..

HOWEVER she does not have my number as when i initially called she did not save my no. cos she did not know who it was.. so when the battery died that night till the next morning she still wouldn't have my no. unless she saved it while we were on the phone.. unlikely.

she 'may' have saved it the next morning when the text finally arrived but cos there was a gap of like 15 hours she must have had loads of calls/texts that didn't go through so duno why mine would stand out.

anyway i called her yesterday, she didn't pick up, and once just now.. no pick up.. im puzzled how she has/knows who's calling..

is she not picking up cos she knows its me?

i haven't even tried to finalise arrangements with her.. grrr..
 

Vypros

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Do you really want to date a girl that talks that much without showing you the slightest bit of interest?

NEXT...
 

drift king

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she's just a chatterbox who natters on and on..

what makes matters worse is that i called at 8, no pick up.. called at 8.30 from withheld/private number with blocked caller id.. no pick up.. then from a different number half an hour later at 9.. no pick up.. she probably suspects it's me?

i think had i left it an hour in between the different calls there'd be better chance of her picking up.. maybe she's just not picking up numbers she doesn't know anymore.. im just surprised she has my number given what happened.

i can try again tomorrow from a different number if no answer then i guess i'll leave a voicemail or a text then next her.

im surprised something like an hour long conversation can ruin your chances?

i mean fair enough you're LJBF'd on the phone but you'd think you'd get an opportunity in person on a date if she preagreed.. its not as if i said or did anything that would have made her lose such interest..

although the text telling she has 4 missed calls from me when her phone was off may have ruined it.. hmm..
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Igetit!

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drift king said:
she's just a chatterbox who natters on and on..

what makes matters worse is that i called at 8, no pick up.. called at 8.30 from withheld/private number with blocked caller id.. no pick up.. then from a different number half an hour later at 9.. no pick up.. she probably suspects it's me?
You called her three times in a hour? Why? Are you that desperate to have a date with this girl? Judging by everything you've said about her so far,about how she goes on and on and on talking without a break,I'd be glad to be out of her presence.


drift king said:
i can try again tomorrow from a different number if no answer then i guess i'll leave a voicemail or a text then next her.
Why do you want to call her from a different number? Do you think that if you call her from your own number,that when she sees it's you that she won't pick up the phone? If that's the case,then you have bigger issues than her talking too much or not being able to get her on the phone.

drift king said:
im surprised something like an hour long conversation can ruin your chances?
Oh,it takes waaaaay less than an hour to ruin your chances with a girl.

drift king said:
i mean fair enough you're LJBF'd on the phone but you'd think you'd get an opportunity in person on a date if she preagreed.. its not as if i said or did anything that would have made her lose such interest..
If she LJBF'd you,then what would be the point of going out on a date? I mean from her perspective,what would be the benefit? What would she get out of going out on a date with someone she has zero interest in?
 

drift king

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ok so i call today at lunch and caught her just at the end before she had to go back to class and talk about irony my battery died 20 secs into arranging the date!

i guess cos i called her from my other number it caught her by surprise.. i was like 'how are you?' and 'we never got to finish our call last week cos ur battery died' she goes 'um yeah i know..'

shes like i literally have 1 min before the kids come back in (shes a teacher)

i was like 'ok so how's friday?' she's like 'well..' then boom it cuts out,

i quickly put it in the charger then call back and she doesn't pick up.. what a b1tch.. she probably is using the excuse that the kids came back in..

i dont know what her answer was to that question about friday but i called back twice after immediately putting my battery in.. if she doesn't call me back later i should next her cos shes p1ssing me about?

grr.. i could have got an answer from her there and then, but would u say EVEN if my battery hadn't died she may agreed and just will flake on me for Friday and cancel?

there doesn't seem much i can do unless within convo i improve but that 1 hour of talking seemed to have ruined everything despite me neither doing/saying anything wrong. grr..
 
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