How do I work this situation?

[DJorBUST]

So, I've come down with a case of one-itis for this girl. She contacted me a couple of months ago to see if I wanted to see a movie with her. Since then she's been calling me, texting me, baking freaking cheesecakes for me and we've gone out three times since then (once to a movie and twice for dinner and drinks). This whole time I've been escalating the kino and the last date I had my arms around her the whole time and I was rubbing up and down her thigh as I drove her home. I went it for the kiss close at the end of the night but I got the freakin' cheek. I'm not sure what the hell happened there.

So, I talked to her a couple of nights ago about her breakup with her ex-boyfriend 5 months ago. She said it was difficult, but you take your hits, learn your lessons and move on. I asked her what lesson she learned. She said that she rushed into the relationship too early and even moved to southern california to be with him. She said she wants to move up to northern california again around March, but now doesn't want to get into something serious and just wants to have fun and meet more people and blah blah blah. So, obviously this sent me for a loop because we were spending so much time with each other and got along really well and she never rejected my advances (I made it obvious that I was interested in something more).

So, I didn't say anything in reply to her and told her I had to go to sleep right after that. Early the next morning she sends me a txt msg saying she hopes I have a great day at work and I should let her know how it goes. I haven't replied back or called her since then. She rarely texts me with something like that so I think she was gauging my reaction to the conversation the previous night by seeing if I would reply with the same tone I held before that text.

I want to call her and tell her that we're clearly on two different pages and if she wants to play the field she should do so but I won't be on it. I think if I keep in contact with her occassionally she'll come around. She hasn't contacted me in a day or so which is completely unlike her. I think she wants me to put the effort forth to call her first (power struggle anyone?).

How do I work this situation to get this girl to come back to me? I am talking to two other girls right now and I intend to go out with both in the next few days. Should I continue to ignore her? Should I call her to let her know I'm not going to be calling or spending time with her if her goal is to play as many men as possible? Sorry for the long post. Any advice would be appreciated (including the predictable "dump that *****" advice)!

 

[bachelor]

The only thing you have gotten from this girl is a kiss on the cheek and you talked to her about her ex boyfriend? You want to get her back? If I were you, I would go and meet other girls and not worry about this one... Eventually, she'll come around but you will be too busy with other girls to even worry about texting her back. Then she'll be coming back to you.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

If you spend too much time with her; she will put you in the friend zone. (Most likely.) Continue to see the other two girls you have lined up. This way your not attached to just one chick. So for the woman you have been seeing lately. I would call her back; ask her how shes doing, tell her about ur day.(something funny,scary,exciting..) Then, I'd ask her on 1 more date. Escalate things a bit more and see how it goes. If she doesnt react well to your advances, next her.

 

[Charm]

This girl sounds interested in you but is having hangups about intimacy. She has intimacy issues from her past relationships. You need to focus on building more comfort with her which you can do by building rapport (getting to know her even better, asking about her dreams, hopes, challenges, stories, favorites, etc).

Next, the kiss close ended up on the cheek because of how you kiss-closed. I usually take them by the face by cupping their face and control it so that I can kiss them wherever I want. One time I went for the kiss close, got the cheek, and instead of giving up frustrated (AFC), I went for the kiss close again on the lips and got it! It took two times

 

[DJorBUST]

I was reading the forum a bit more and I came upon the "gangi game" threads. I've ignored women I've been into before to great success after we resumed speaking again. It usually took weeks to months before she would contact me again though. But it seems like two of you guys are suggesting I call her and keep going with things to see how they progress after several days of silence despite what she said to me(we usually talk and text back and forth several times a day). I'm kinda torn between continuing with the silence until she calls me and then talking to her or just ending this brief period of silence and give her a call myself. Don't you think it would make me look desperate to be the one who initiates contact again so soon?

 

[DJorBUST]

Bump!

 

[DJorBUST]

UPDATE!
I decided to just ask her out again for another dinner\movie deal. A perfect moment for a kiss never presented itself. So, when I was dropping her off, I just grabbed her and kissed her. We went back and forth a bit for about 30 seconds and she asked how long I've been waiting to do that. I responded with "awhile" and a laugh. I told her that I just needed to get that off my chest and see where she was at. She said she was interested, but not prepared for anything long-term just yet. I said I appreciated her being honest and I just wanted her to give us a fair chance. She said she definitely would and we parted ways. She texted me a few times the next morning and wished me a good day.

I'm glad I went this way instead of just issuing her an ultimatum. One of my friends insisted I ask her whether she was seeing other guys right now. I'm not sure I want to know the answer to that question or if that's even a question worth asking. Should I ask her that or just keeping going out with her and progressing and just not care if there are other guys in the scene?