Basically this one girl that I kinda like and currently hooking up with, is pretty cute, but she's a bit outta shape, not too bad of course (or else I wouldn't be with her at all) but I love a girl with a fine body. How the **** do I send her that hint to hit the gym and work out for me?! :crackup:
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
How do I tell her...
- Thread starter Zerix
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Faded Image
Senior Don Juan
Go the gym and take her with you.
hmm
Thats a tough one. I think that you should also be in shape. Or the best way to motivate her would be to start working out yourself. When she see's that your working out, she might get inspired or feel a bit out of shape herself.
But if you say something you will hurt her feelings because women are very sensative about their weight.
Thats a tough one. I think that you should also be in shape. Or the best way to motivate her would be to start working out yourself. When she see's that your working out, she might get inspired or feel a bit out of shape herself.
But if you say something you will hurt her feelings because women are very sensative about their weight.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Igetit!
Moderator
What I'd like to know is if you don't find a way to tell her,and nothing happens (meaning she doesn't lose any weight and her appearance stays the same),what are you going to do?
first of all make it clear that you like the way she looks and you are attracted to her. then say that you think you are out of shape and are thinking about hitting up the gym. finally say you'd like if she went with you so you could spend that time together.
under no circumstances should you say she is fat or out of shape or any of that. that will automatically make her shut down and not want to work out, with you or otherwise.
under no circumstances should you say she is fat or out of shape or any of that. that will automatically make her shut down and not want to work out, with you or otherwise.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Lexie
Don Juan
This would backfire big-time....because instantly she's going to infer that you think she doesn't look good now. Which is the truth in this case, but not what you want to tell her. I agree with the other posters who mentioned working out yourself. When I know that my bf is working out, it inspires me to work out too. I get to appreciate a nice body, so why shouldn't he? Plus, it makes you realize that being in shape is really important to them.Zerix said:
bigjohnson
Master Don Juan
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In America you're either genetically gifted, you work out, or you're fat. You've established she's not genetically gifted, so if she doesn't workout she's gonna blow.
Probably will anyway.
So then as I see it here are your options, best to worst.
Good luck.
Probably will anyway.
So then as I see it here are your options, best to worst.
- Start looking for a trade up.
- Take her on active dates, walks, hikes, tennis, swimming, soccer etc. and try to get her more into working out. One secret weapon you can use if you are willing to do it is dance classes; chicks can't resist it. Upside is you will get to play or learn to dance or whatever, downside is she might not go at all, or more likely won't stick with it.
- Learn to love her for who she is, see past the lard she's sure to grow. Yuch.
Good luck.
surfdog
Don Juan
I think the best thing to do here is to find an outdoor activity that you both enjoy, something like jogging, rollerblading, swimming etc.
This way she would actually want to do some physical activity, it doesn't necessarily mean she has to go to the gym to get a good body. All forms of physical activity burns fat either directly or indirectly, and after a while you'll be starting to see results.
This way she would actually want to do some physical activity, it doesn't necessarily mean she has to go to the gym to get a good body. All forms of physical activity burns fat either directly or indirectly, and after a while you'll be starting to see results.
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