"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How do I tell a girl it's up to her to make the next move?

skinnydart

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How do I tell a girl it's up to her to make the next move? I'm dating two girls, and one of them I want to tell at the end of our second date this weekend that it's up to her to make the next move if she is interested. How do I tell her or hint at that?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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belividere

Master Don Juan
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I dont know your history with these girls but is dating someone really official after only one date? It is the end of the second date with one girl, what is the story with the other? Why would you even let her konw that the ball is in her court? Just go out and do your thing and make her want to pursue the ball that you leave in her court when you dont follow the date with a call. I guess that I'm a little confused though, prior to this upcoming date what was her interest level? Has she called you? Under what conditions did you meet? How far did the first date go? I dont know just a little vague of a description of things for me to follow. Good luck on the second date though.
 

skinnydart

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I dont know your history with these girls but is dating someone really official after only one date?
Actually this will be the 3rd date with this particular chick.

The "other" one I like more then the one I'm going out with this weekend. They're both really hot, one has a more quiet personality which I like.
Just go out and do your thing and make her want to pursue the ball that you leave in her court when you dont follow the date with a call.
That's my problem, no girl will ever call me unless I call her first. Like if never called her again she won't call me.

I guess I just want to have one less thing to worry about, I don't want to keep wasting my money on a chick that will keep going out wtih me but is not really that interested so by telling her the next move is her's it'll save me a lot of trouble.

First few dates went well, I'm kindof a quiet/reserved guy but this upcoming date I was going to up the kino a little bit, so she'll know I'm interested by the time I drop her off.
 

belividere

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why dont you just pursue the "other" one then? If this is your 3rd date where have you gotten so far?

If you haven't gotten any girls to call you after the first or second dates then that is direct indication of their interest levels. Spending money on the first couple of dates/months is an indirect signal of how much you desire her. Dont go to expensive places unless she qualifies herself to you. For me that takes about a year but I have commitment issues. If you start spending money on a girl she will feel obligated to continue going out with you. This isn't a good thing. Keep the first couple dates/month cheap and let her prove to you that you should be dropping money.

Again, I dont know how far you have gotten but if you have at least kissed then what good is kino? If you haven't done anything by now then you are probably in the friend-zone. Kino ain't going to get you out. Really it will just make you look like a creep who doesn't understand your place in the situation.
 

SamePendo

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A woman who is interested in a relationship brings it up first. Don't bring it up. Continue dating other women.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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