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How do I stop trying to impress girls and being needy?

nelysses

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I know the title is ridiculous but for some reason it sounds like girls don't want boys and only us as boys want them.

That's why I feel like I'm trying to impress someone, pick them up, rather than having a relationship with someone. And of course it usually fails. Because I act too needy. But I can't get over it.

We had the same experience with the last girl I liked. The girl's personality is not like me at all, and on top of that, she is not very interested in me. Therefore, I feel like I need to make an effort for it. Like I have to convince him.
I can't accept that we are both different characters and that if we are for each other, we will have a relationship, if not, we won't.

I heard recently that she has a boyfriend. In fact, she would even go to the gym with her boyfriend so that she wouldn't talk to others.
So I know Girls hav emotions too :D But how can i fix that with me?
 

nelysses

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This includes stalking etc. So sometimes it really feels feminine
 

BPH

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Ok, you've made 3 or 4 threads in the last couple of days so I'm gonna stop you right here.

1. Shut the **** up. You've been asking the same questions in different threads, clearly not taking the advice given.
2. Start going to the gym and working out.
3. Go somewhere OTHER THAN WHERE YOU LIVE and start talking to girls you find attractive.

Learn to cold approach IN PERSON, develop some confidence, stop being weird, and get in shape.
 

nelysses

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Ok, you've made 3 or 4 threads in the last couple of days so I'm gonna stop you right here.

1. Shut the **** up. You've been asking the same questions in different threads, clearly not taking the advice given.
2. Start going to the gym and working out.
3. Go somewhere OTHER THAN WHERE YOU LIVE and start talking to girls you find attractive.

Learn to cold approach IN PERSON, develop some confidence, stop being weird, and get in shape.
I told my friend about this forum and he wanted to use my account. So some of them aren't my posts if they are same. Sorry for that.
 

Gamisch

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I know the title is ridiculous but for some reason it sounds like girls don't want boys and only us as boys want them.

That's why I feel like I'm trying to impress someone, pick them up, rather than having a relationship with someone. And of course it usually fails. Because I act too needy. But I can't get over it.

We had the same experience with the last girl I liked. The girl's personality is not like me at all, and on top of that, she is not very interested in me. Therefore, I feel like I need to make an effort for it. Like I have to convince him.
I can't accept that we are both different characters and that if we are for each other, we will have a relationship, if not, we won't.

I heard recently that she has a boyfriend. In fact, she would even go to the gym with her boyfriend so that she wouldn't talk to others.
So I know Girls hav emotions too :D But how can i fix that with me?
You NEVER stop trying to impress women.

That's the blackpill biggest mistake imo. A man is put on this earth to multiple by fecking women. If you let go of this, you might as well chop off your weener.

Its a numbers game. Remember that. You might go on a date with a woman who doesn't want you, period. Anything you do after you realize that = chipping away from your own confidence and self image.

Lets allude to the last sentence; if you KNOW a woman doesn't want you, but you like "feck it imma shoot my shot yet AGAIN ", then be prepared to take a mental hit. You THOUGHT you might get p00sy and the price is you are getting rejected and making a post out of sadness.

You gotta find a place where you are trying to impress YOURSELF. Once you KNOW you are impressive, you'll carry yourself as such. A date with a woman then becomes more of a business negotiation instead of a job interview. You are doinh job interviews where you are dependent upon "miss p00sy CEO" to hire you for a minimum wage.

I told my friend about this forum and he wanted to use my account. So some of them aren't my posts if they are same. Sorry for that.
Thats just weak. Anything written under YOUR account is said through YOUR mouth.

Here, we have law that if you street race with my car I'll get legal troubles even if I wasn't there. Take accountability over your account let your friend make his own account.

You got a long way to go mon ami. And I say that with love.
 

nelysses

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You NEVER stop trying to impress women.

That's the blackpill biggest mistake imo. A man is put on this earth to multiple by fecking women. If you let go of this, you might as well chop off your weener.

Its a numbers game. Remember that. You might go on a date with a woman who doesn't want you, period. Anything you do after you realize that = chipping away from your own confidence and self image.

Lets allude to the last sentence; if you KNOW a woman doesn't want you, but you like "feck it imma shoot my shot yet AGAIN ", then be prepared to take a mental hit. You THOUGHT you might get p00sy and the price is you are getting rejected and making a post out of sadness.

You gotta find a place where you are trying to impress YOURSELF. Once you KNOW you are impressive, you'll carry yourself as such. A date with a woman then becomes more of a business negotiation instead of a job interview. You are doinh job interviews where you are dependent upon "miss p00sy CEO" to hire you for a minimum wage.


Thats just weak. Anything written under YOUR account is said through YOUR mouth.

Here, we have law that if you street race with my car I'll get legal troubles even if I wasn't there. Take accountability over your account let your friend make his own account.

You got a long way to go mon ami. And I say that with love.
First of all thank you all guys.
Actually, this is exactly the problem. But I don't know how to solve it. I don't know, maybe it's because I only had 1 girlfriend before.
But sometimes I can act very needy. Actually it's not needy but I don't know the right word.
I just feel like I have to forget that it's a two-way conversation and interaction and get the girl.
If this is a girl I met on Instagram, it's not a big problem. But if she is a beautiful girl I meet in daily life (for example, at school), it can be a problem.
Moreover, it was the first time in my life that I had so many feelings for someone. At first, I was even embarrassed to go and talk. Now I only have 1 month to talk to the girl. Then we will be in the same city but different schools.

Normally this is not a pborlem, but unfortunately we don't have any conversations or mutual friends outside of class.

I have long way to go but I'm 21 and I feel sometimes late. Because I'm too unexperienced with girls. As I say I had just a gf before and after 1 week broke up with her..
Actually I don't know what to do now. Also I can't go other city now. I'm here for universty for 3 or 4 years more.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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I told my friend about this forum and he wanted to use my account. So some of them aren't my posts if they are same. Sorry for that.
"Just asking for a friend."
 

BPH

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First of all thank you all guys.
Actually, this is exactly the problem. But I don't know how to solve it. I don't know, maybe it's because I only had 1 girlfriend before.
But sometimes I can act very needy. Actually it's not needy but I don't know the right word.
I just feel like I have to forget that it's a two-way conversation and interaction and get the girl.
If this is a girl I met on Instagram, it's not a big problem. But if she is a beautiful girl I meet in daily life (for example, at school), it can be a problem.
Moreover, it was the first time in my life that I had so many feelings for someone. At first, I was even embarrassed to go and talk. Now I only have 1 month to talk to the girl. Then we will be in the same city but different schools.

Normally this is not a pborlem, but unfortunately we don't have any conversations or mutual friends outside of class.

I have long way to go but I'm 21 and I feel sometimes late. Because I'm too unexperienced with girls. As I say I had just a gf before and after 1 week broke up with her..
Actually I don't know what to do now. Also I can't go other city now. I'm here for universty for 3 or 4 years more.
Bro.

Get off the forum and start talking to girls.

What kinda answer are you hoping for?

"Yeah man your situation is normal and fine, just send a couple hundred more DMs and I'm sure she'll fall in love with you."

Also, I can't believe you're 21 and really pulled the "that was my friend who said that" in 2024...like I said, stop being weird, work out, talk to people, and stop asking the same ****ing question in 4 threads.
 

nelysses

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Bro.

Get off the forum and start talking to girls.

What kinda answer are you hoping for?

"Yeah man your situation is normal and fine, just send a couple hundred more DMs and I'm sure she'll fall in love with you."

Also, I can't believe you're 21 and really pulled the "that was my friend who said that" in 2024...like I said, stop being weird, work out, talk to people, and stop asking the same ****ing question in 4 threads.
Actually I noticed that most of my problems about not being social and living in a small town(I cant move on now cause of university.) but Thanks man. I really noticed that it looks i deified some girls.
Also I look my situitation and it's sh*t. Just sitting here and saying "i love her but she has a bf bla bla.."

Really big thanks..
 

BPH

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Actually I noticed that most of my problems about not being social and living in a small town(I cant move on now cause of university.) but Thanks man. I really noticed that it looks i deified some girls.
Also I look my situitation and it's sh*t. Just sitting here and saying "i love her but she has a bf bla bla.."

Really big thanks..
You don't love her. You just don't have any options, so you've overvalued any girl that shows you attention. You dated a girl for ONE WEEK, you don't even know what love is.

Self-improve. Go to the gym, stop messaging girls on Instagram, and have actual human conversations with girls you're interested in WITHOUT BEING THE WEIRDO TALKING TO EVERY GIRL HE SEES.

Your situation is easy to fix by way of "exposure therapy", but the way you talk makes me think I'm wasting my time and you're looking for some Contra code or some ****.
 

corrector

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First of all thank you all guys.
Actually, this is exactly the problem. But I don't know how to solve it. I don't know, maybe it's because I only had 1 girlfriend before.
But sometimes I can act very needy. Actually it's not needy but I don't know the right word.
I just feel like I have to forget that it's a two-way conversation and interaction and get the girl.
If this is a girl I met on Instagram, it's not a big problem. But if she is a beautiful girl I meet in daily life (for example, at school), it can be a problem.
Moreover, it was the first time in my life that I had so many feelings for someone. At first, I was even embarrassed to go and talk. Now I only have 1 month to talk to the girl. Then we will be in the same city but different schools.

Normally this is not a pborlem, but unfortunately we don't have any conversations or mutual friends outside of class.

I have long way to go but I'm 21 and I feel sometimes late. Because I'm too unexperienced with girls. As I say I had just a gf before and after 1 week broke up with her..
Actually I don't know what to do now. Also I can't go other city now. I'm here for universty for 3 or 4 years more.
Are you seeing OTHER guys that are close ot her? What is your competition like?
 

nelysses

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You don't love her. You just don't have any options, so you've overvalued any girl that shows you attention. You dated a girl for ONE WEEK, you don't even know what love is.

Self-improve. Go to the gym, stop messaging girls on Instagram, and have actual human conversations with girls you're interested in WITHOUT BEING THE WEIRDO TALKING TO EVERY GIRL HE SEES.

Your situation is easy to fix by way of "exposure therapy", but the way you talk makes me think I'm wasting my time and you're looking for some Contra code or some ****.
I have OCB, reported by psychiatrist. So yes probably it isn't love. Maybe an obsession.
Also my psychiatrist said I'm too perfectionist so I jsut waiting the right time, right place, right things to say...

Actually, my problem isn't with being weird. I was the nerd guy sitting in the back row in middle school, with glasses. Also good at math but bad at people. I wasn't love talking too much so now I want but can't. I don't talk weird but I'm mostly silent beecause I don't want to say weird or wrong things :D
Now I'm in med school. I'll be a doctor but still bad at socializing. Not just about girls. totally bad at socializing If I'm not comfortable there.
For example 2 weeks ago I go on a date with a girl and We talked 6 hours(2 days after she learned I'm younger than her so rejected :D)
But generally I couldn't things to say with people. also a little bit nerveus with new people.

The reason for this is probably because I stayed at home and focused on my hobbies throughout my high school life and did not like social environments. While my friends were going to the club, I was sitting at home trying to make beats or writing my own lyrics. In short, I was working with a computer.

Today, I can do basic coding, I have a little knowledge of everything from photography (and photoshop) to making songs, but I can't go and talk to a girl the way I want.
Sociality and the human brain are weird.

I hope you read all of this paragraph. I wasn't lying I'm really 21. I understand if it looks I'm wasting your time or you guys don't want to help me. But thank you all!
I was worse but being better with this website, also with book of pook.
 

nelysses

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Are you seeing OTHER guys that are close ot her? What is your competition like?
No guys near him. Everybody says "She is terrible with people and socializing. She don't know how to talk etc etc". I just saw he 1 time with a guy(her bf. I learned 2 weeks later because she isn't good with her bf too. They Just sit next to me in a cafe and Just looked their phones 1 hour.)
 

corrector

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They Just sit next to me in a cafe and Just looked their phones 1 hour.
They look at, their own phones, together (in proximity). How did that make you feel? Were you jealous?
 

nelysses

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They look at, their own phones, together (in proximity). How did that make you feel? Were you jealous?
I saw her with another guy so yes I'm very very jealous :D
I think it isn't about just this girl. You want something /somebody and one guy gets it. I think everybody feels jealous. Even it's a car :D

But I don't know this time feels different. I want her so bad like love stories and I want to chase her but then It feels like oneitis and I don't have self-esteem.
Felt sad because someone makes her happy and he isn't me :D
 

nelysses

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Somedays I say whe must be mine and some days say if she is happy without me, then she must be without me.
 

nelysses

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Turn off the computer and go outside.
Rest assured, my friend, I have a life. I'm just bad at the social part of it. The reason, as I explained, is that I live in a small city.

Have you ever lived in a place where the only social activity was cafes? Or in a place with only 4-5 streets? A place without any bars, clubs, pubs, courses etc. You'll see what I mean.
You probably think I'm someone who can't leave the house and has severe social phobia, but that's not true. Do I have social phobia? Last year I was mentioned throughout the class. "He try to speak every girl.."

I can't find a place to socialize and I'm trying to find out what people in similar situations do, but you keep telling me to go out. There is no activity I can do outside, but I don't understand why I need to go out.
I used to boxing before injured. I'm not really the person you think of in your head :D
As I said, I'm just bad at the social part of the job and I don't know how to improve myself.
It is not possible for me to move to a new city for 3-4 years. Therefore, I only have the option of a daygame in a cafe. But this time, there are people who say don't make daygames in small cities.
 

corrector

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I saw her with another guy so yes I'm very very jealous :D
You are in good company.

nelysses said:
I think it isn't about just this girl. You want something /somebody and one guy gets it. I think everybody feels jealous. Even it's a car :D
Nah, women are different.

nelysses said:
But I don't know this time feels different. I want her so bad like love stories and I want to chase her but then It feels like oneitis and I don't have self-esteem.
Felt sad because someone makes her happy and he isn't me :D
Have you tried looking at youtube videos of nice looking women talking about nice topics when you encounter situations like that so at least you don't feel so bad? That is what I do to cope when I feel that way and you are seeing the girl with another guy. I mean you have to tune-out of that mentally somehow right?

I'm really encouraged to read your thread. I thought I was the only guy feeling this way in here. It really sucks when it happens.
 
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