How do I stop thinking of myself as a boy and become a man?

[CJDragon]

OK so here's the general outline of my situation; I'm 19, at uni where I live in a private house with 2 mates. I'm from the UK so I go to pubs and bars and stuff. My problem is that, for some reason, I still pretty much think of myself as a kid in spite of all these things. It probably stems from the fact that everyone tells me I have a "baby face" so I look pretty young and get IDed everywhere I go. However I really want to change my attitude to myself as I think it's really holding me back as a DJ.

I've started an exercise routine and that seems to be helping quite a bit, the muscle is making me look more "manly" and therefore helping the way I see myself. I've recently changed to doing compound exercises only, such as squats and bench press, which is meant to increase testosterone levels, but this'll take time to have an impact.

I know many people would probably be thinking "You're a man, stop whining that you look young and just be a man dammit!" and yeh, I'd agree with you, lol. But basically does anyone have some tips just to help me speed up the process of changing my image of myself, from small things like watching Fight Club to bigger things like taking up a particular activity. Cheers in advance

 

[Larversurus]

Have you tried dressing more "manly"?

 

[CaptainSaveAHo]

being manly to some may be getting lots of testosterone and showing off muscles...like some gay guys do.

being manly may be making lots of money or having lots of sex with different women...and gets stds/paternity suits.

being manly seems to always be one man comparing himself against other men and seeing if he can either be the same with one or swimming against the current.

 

[WC2]

You say you want to feel like a man and be perceived as one?

Going to the gym may help you as being perceived as a man, but the only way to believe in yourself is to do it.

Do you trust your instincts or do you constantly go on others instincts?

Are you a leader or a follower?

Do you take care of your problems on your own or do you look for help at the first sign of trouble?

Do you need others to keep you occupied or are you perfectly fine with yourself?

Once you start answering these questions the right way and doing the right thing, then you'll start perceiving yourself as a man.

 

[AKA FLEX]

OK so here's the general outline of my situation; I'm 19, at uni where I live in a private house with 2 mates. I'm from the UK so I go to pubs and bars and stuff. My problem is that, for some reason, I still pretty much think of myself as a kid in spite of all these things. It probably stems from the fact that everyone tells me I have a "baby face" so I look pretty young and get IDed everywhere I go. However I really want to change my attitude to myself as I think it's really holding me back as a DJ.

I've started an exercise routine and that seems to be helping quite a bit, the muscle is making me look more "manly" and therefore helping the way I see myself. I've recently changed to doing compound exercises only, such as squats and bench press, which is meant to increase testosterone levels, but this'll take time to have an impact.

I know many people would probably be thinking "You're a man, stop whining that you look young and just be a man dammit!" and yeh, I'd agree with you, lol. But basically does anyone have some tips just to help me speed up the process of changing my image of myself, from small things like watching Fight Club to bigger things like taking up a particular activity. Cheers in advance

Have you been laid yet?

 

[ready123]

what a wierd fvckin question

 

[gottiwill]

I get like this sometimes..
Jst watch 300 over and over and over.
it helps me.

 

[Furyguy]

Nineteen year old college students are still kids, you might just have to wait a little while and get older.


I'd suggest getting a job, or getting promoted to a managerial position, or growing a beard, or becoming a lumberjack.

 

[antoine_a_z]

19 year old man, is still kind of young, however my advise to you is try to hit on younger girls by 3 or 4 years old and they will look at u as an plder person, so u will feel the manly and maturity side in you.

This had worked fine with me over years, because I also have baby face, but believe me kiddo , some wild girls love this look, so u should be happy about it and think about when u get older, u will still feel young.

 

[Deadly_Assassin]

I can relate to this, because I was looking at myself the same way at 19. Well, till I was nearly 23 I did not stop thinking of myself as a man. I still do it now at times, but I quickly realise what I am doing and push those thoughts away.

First thing, every time you start to think of yourself as a kid, push those thoughts away and think like a man.
2nd, go out into the world. Travel a bit. Get out of your comfort zone. Get to know people of all kinds of ages and races. This really changed me a lot. When I travelled to India, I made friends with airforce Wing Commanders to Auto-rickshaw drivers. I even changed my looks when I was there. I grew a beard and cut my hair really short. When you learn to stand on your own two feet, when you realise that you can do anything in life if you put your heart to it, when you reach your goals, you will feel like a man. It will come from within.

no3. learn to ride a motorbike and ride and explore. Just like when you were a kid and you got ur first pedal bike. You wanted to ride into the unknown. I borrowed my Uncle's bike and went exploring places in India. I would only be gone for a whole day, but I had a lot of fun.

 

[CJDragon]

Thanks for all the ideas and general positive feedback, I was worried asking a question like this would degenerate into people insulting me en masse, but you've all been helpful.

In response to Deadly Assassin, that's good advice about traveling and getting new experiences. I've got 3 months off uni and very little work so I'm planning on doing lots of stuff I've never done before. I'm making sure I do at least one new thing a week. For instance I'm going paintballing, kayaking, wakeboarding and anything else I can think of, I'm going to new bars and clubs rather than going to the same ones i've always been to and so on. Any ideas for activities to do are much appreciated.

 

[CJDragon]

Last night I was out at a bar, standing in the beer garden talking with my mates when a pretty cute girl comes up and asks one of my mates if he could move so she could talk to me. I was thinking she must have thought I was cute or something to come over and talk to me, but the first thing she says are those words I've come to dread... "How old are you?". So I say I'm nineteen, to which she replies "Really? Wow, 'cause you look much younger than that" and then she just left! Not the best end to my first week of trying to shake the feeling of being young, but it could have been worse, she could have tried to make me show her my ID to prove it...

 

[shinko]

I can relate on many levels with you mr man. I get ID checked even when im with my girl and im 24. You learn to laugh at it and have your driving licence out even before you get to the door, haha.
seriously though, the way you view yourself is how others will learn to perceive you. Being a man means different things to different people, but it is utimately what you think a man should be is what counts. For me it means taking responcibility for my actions, being confident in my choices, being focused on my goals and maybe the most important being comfortable in my own skin. So thats what i do, further i suspect your worry about feeling young stems from a lack of experience and not being sure of yourself. i definitely felt that way when i was your age and so with some guidance i began to put myself in situations i was not comfortable with or talk to people i wouldnt normally assocaite myself with. Sort of as a test of character but also because it did widen my experience. You cant rush experience but the more things you try, experiment with the sooner you find where things fit into your world view. By experiences im not adovcating multiple women, drugs and drink ****tails but rather actually getting a handle of just how varied and interesting this world we live in truely is.
Dont worry about your looks your'll come to love it in a few years when you look better than everyone else and dress up smarter than others your age if you want to counteract this. Another thing you can do is try and learn something new everyday, it'll make you more interesting as a person and in turn the conversations your have with others.
Also check the company you regularly keep, if they act like kids some way or another they will rub on you, that doesnt mean get rid of everyone you hang out with, but perhaps you might want to consider cultivating new friendships with dudes who are abit further down the road than you who wouldnt mind you chilling out with them. just a thought.
Good luck.