Brighty said:
Like, its hard for me to say, but I try and spend so much time impressing women and trying to look good that I think its a turn off when I'm talking to women. Like, I always try and make myself look attractive in every facial expression (probably due to the fact that I was an ugly kid growing up and I felt like I had to do it to seem passable to girls) and I think I generally have a misconception of how to talk to girls. Like sometimes I'll try and be dominating but I'll overdo it and girls will get turned off, or sometimes I'll try and tease them and I take it too far (im in high school btw).
Is there like an instructional video for how to talk to girls? Reading about it is one thing, but seeing people do it is another and I think it would stick with me better.
Brighty, this all comes down to you not accepting yourself.
Since you are not accepting yourself you are putting on a fake mask to try to 'fit in' and BE 'accepted' and gain 'approval'.
Mature, masculine men do not do this sh*t.
SInce you have deep rooted isssues of inadequacy and needing validation and approval, you are in a pretty bad frame of mind to be dealing with women who have innate abilities to sniff out poseurs, and fakes, and players, etc...
You need to be honest with yourself even if it is not pretty.
Why do you NEED to impress females? Did you know that women are NOT impressed by guys who are TRYTING to IMPRESS them???
Why do you NEED their Approval? Did you know that women are NOT attracted to men who NEED their (the female's) approval???
Why are you trying to be dominant? Is it because you are so insecure that you have to be domineering and imposing??
NO ONE wants to be around someone who is always imposing their will on others and domineering in every action and interactions.....
Lose that 'domineering' sh*t.
When males TRY to 'be dominant' it MEANS they are passive and submissive, and insecure males....
Guys who are naturally dominant are only dominant to the people they are interested in. Their reality does not include people who dont contribute something or people that the man doesnt want to give some value to.
IN other words, the dominant man is dominant only to the ends that it pleases him in circumstances where he feels he NEEDS to.
If you HAVE to 'use' dominance, then by the very nature of the action........you are NOT dominant. Dominance is a recognized POWER.
No one likes people who ABUSE their POWER over them. Thats why the
ABuse of DOMINANCE is 'Domineering' which is IMMATURE and a Win/Lose propostion.
SImply being domineering in EVERY single circumstance is fake and shows deep insecurity and a need for ATTENTION.
Mature masculine men DONT NEED attention, man.
They dont NEED approval.
They dont 'act' or 'try to be' dominant, because he is naturally dominant at THE RIGHT TIME...he is NEVER
DOMINEERING.
That is being self obsessesed and ARROGANT...people HATE guys like that..dont BE ONE.
Mature masculine men are comfortable with themselves. They dont look for people to 'accept' him, in that HE Does NOT MANIPULATE to get 'accepted'.
Either the person accpets you or they dont, you live with it.
If they dont accpet you , you move on.
If the do accept you, then you decide to stay and how much involvement you want to give.
Learn how to build your
Self Esteem.
And let go of trying to get REACTIONS to you.
Live your life, man.
Live your life and live the life that
you want.
Either people come on board or they dont.THAT'S LIFE!
That IS How LIFE
WORKS!!!
Stop trying to get reactions or seek approval.
Start focusing on the
IMPORTANT things in a Man's Life.
Good luck
