"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How do I respond to this?

ckdon

Don Juan
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you're making the same mistake as me, by not texting her first or calling, or not initiating things first at least sometimes she's gonna end up thinking YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Piers Nivens

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TheWolfMan said:
Dude, I'm gonna have to agree with HB 9.5 on the whole "idiot" thing...if the shoe fits wear it. Anyway you screwed up, but it's salvageable if you want to, it might be better just nexting her, as one of the other posters said you guys have a communication issue. This chick is lost and you refuse to get her directions and ignore her? The hell is wrong with you boy? Listen, I'm all about trying to maintain control and playfully tease girls that one talks to, but you gotta learn there's a time and place for that sort of thing. I mean you know this chick is sensitive right? Keep that in the back of you're head when you're texting her, once you know her better and she gets more comfortable then she will pick up on you're humor and or teasing. The second thing you did wrong was take her texts back as being serious, it sounded like she was just teasing you back with the smiley face at the end. Sounds like you got a little bit of "you can dish it out, but you can't take it" sort of thing goin on there. I'm not saying to bow down to the girl, but learn when to stand your ground and when to give in. This situation was not one of the those times. Tough call on the NC thing, if you guys haven't talked yet, I'd hit her up with with something along the lines of what DonJuanabe said, but keep it playful.

I didn't ignore her man. I said hold up let me get to my laptop and I'll get back to you later. She said ok call me when you are ready. Now, the house was packed with guests. I couldn't call because it was noisy. So instead I texted her "ok what is it? " asking her where are you, etc. She tells me I'm an idiot because I didn't call like she asked me to, that I texted instead.

1. I don't think she was out there in a car anyways. I think she just wanted to talk or something.

2. She is STILL texting me normally; she keeps saying let's not talk and when I agree she shakes up and just cannot stop talking to me. Today she sent me two messages, I ignored her. She just doesn't want to drop contact, and I'm happy with that because I don't want to either.
 

Piers Nivens

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ckdon said:
dude what the hell. do not listen to any of these no contact boasters.

TEXT/CALL HER ASAP AND SET UP A DATE ASAP. DO NOT LOSE HER if she has shown so much interest. ive been in this situation before.

if you play ur cards right, she's a keeper man.

you are acting like a jerk it seems. the whole "why are you so mean to me and the you dont have to hurt my feelings" thing proves that she has feelings for you and cares and when in return you dont, she feels hurt and ourtighr said it to you.

arrange a date with her asap man.
You're right man. I'm going to make sure we go out this week 100%.
 

Piers Nivens

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Slickster said:
"I told you to call idiot" = It's over! Never talk to her again.
So she called me an idiot once, while she was panicking alone in another state at night while it was raining, means I never talk to her?

Despite the fact she shows very high interest? Always contacts me first and always is willing to meet?

Yeah, no thanks. I'm not going to lose her just because of one word.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Fly By Night

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If you don't want our advice, just say so. I hate it when people ask for advice, then completely ignore the answer they get back because it's not what they want to hear. I still think she will just be wasting your time. Only thing I see she is good for now is just a good effing. Her religious background will pose a huge barrier, but if you get her horny she will want to eff you anyway. As far as relationships go... sounds like a bad idea.

Piers Nivens said:
I have great healing skills (i..e gettting back on track).
Yeah, that's cool and all, but you would be wasting time. Unless you, of course, have the power to turn back the hands of time... Then by all means, keep using your time on her.

With this said, I am assuming that you are still willing to continue contacting this girl fully knowing that it is probably going to blow up in your face, correct?

Can someone say "YOLO"?
 
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