montybrown said:
I'm worried about what she thinks or wants because I like her.
There's your problem, man. If you get too into a girl too quickly (i.e. after a one night stand), you're headed right back down the road to AFCville. Which is what it sounds like you've done.
You should be just as casual if not moreso about the encounter than she was. Act like it was no big deal. Like you do it all the time and that she's not any different from any other girl you'd take home and do the same with.
You're giving her too much value too quickly.
Also, a cardinal rule of being a man is NEVER care what a woman thinks or wants. It sounds shìtty, but by just being unapologetically you, you can actually tell a woman what she thinks and wants. Not in actual verbal terms but in actions. You subcommunicate it. And she actually prefers this over having her own thoughts and desires. I promise you. It's the ultimate act of dominance to get inside her head, and she will love you for it. But you have to have all the power at all times to accomplish this. You CANNOT afford to give away any of it by worrying about what she's thinking or feeling. Ever!
Know, don't think, but know that whatever decisions you are making are ones that she will enjoy, and she will respond accordingly. Women are mirrors. They simply reflect what you project.
Now, since your friend pointed out that you were there, and she specifically said she didn't want to talk to you, that means she's not interested. The fact that she contacted you afterward and mentioned that she heard you were there is just to gauge/re-kindle your interest level. Women do this even with men they are not into.
If you want insight into how women act, I recommend becoming good platonic friends with a few females. Not just any females but decidedly girly ones. You will learn volumes about how women operate. I recommend developing such a friendship with an ex. A lot of guys will advise against this, but it's been my experience that it actually works better to befriend an ex because all of the sexual tension has been dispelled already. You never have to worry about awkward moments. My best female friend is someone who I dated when we first met a few years back, and now we're like brother and sister. We're so comfortable with each other that I don't even notice when she's naked anymore. She'll get out of the shower and carry on a full conversation with me while she's butt ass naked, and I'll look her straight in the eye the whole time. I don't even notice her girlie parts anymore.
But being friends with her has opened my eyes to a world of things that didn't make sense before. Such as why women will act interested in a guy when they are not. They like attention. If they know they have an admirer, even one they aren't into, they'll make sure to maintain his interest just to boost their ego. Yet another reason why you should never show a woman too much interest. It gives her all the power and puts you in a position to be the sucker.
As for this girl, I wouldn't even respond to her message. I'd just ignore it. She'll either leave you alone, and you'll be fine without her, or she'll get frustrated that she's losing your interest and try harder to win you back over. Which shifts the power balance back in your favor.
