"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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*****How do I respond? Please help ******

way2smart

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Hello fellow DJ's

I met a new chick and have been in contact since.
She is initiating conversations 90 percent of the time.
I can see that she is very very interested. She says that I'm a player and I am not capable of love etc etc. Asked me if I cared about her etc.

So today she initiated a text convo as she usually does and the conversation has been going well, until this:

Her: Can you send me a short video of yourself?
Me: Ok, I will do that some time
Her: Can you do it now?
Me: Can't do now, but you can if you want.
Her: That was my idea first :)
Me: Well I'm not rejecting
Her: Okay will send it sometime :)
Me: And by the way, I still haven't seen you without clothes.
Her: :) That's not funny
Me: I am not being funny :)
Her: Why do you want to see me naked? You already have many girls, let me just stay a secret.
Me: Whatever you want, it's just that my interest increases visually
Her: If I am not interesting to you in a conversation, then don't text me.


Is it some kind of power play here? If I say, no you are interesting, I would be submitting to her and giving her the power, right?

I haven't replied yet.

But I am thinking of replying, "I don't like your tone"

How should I proceed? I would appreciate your input>

EDIT: I have met her in person, she is a solid 8.5.
I just asked her for nude pics.


******UPDATE***********
Here is what happened after that convo

Me: I don't like your tone
Her: I feel hurt
Me: If you weren't interesting I wouldn't have spoken with you
Her: I don't know, it feels like I am nobody to you. And you are looking down on me.

I confess, she has been doing the most of the chasing, that's why she probably sent that last text. Which is actually a good thing I guess. It could mean that she wants more and is very interested.

I am planning on not replying to that last text. I will just wait for her to initiate again. Do you guys think that's a good idea?
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Yorkex

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Say by crazy chance I decide to take a chance and marry you ...will you still love me when I'm fat ?
 

way2smart

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Yorkex said:
Say by crazy chance I decide to take a chance and marry you ...will you still love me when I'm fat ?
I met her in person and she is not fat. She is a very nice looking girl.
Her reply was to my request for nude pics.
 

Yorkex

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way2smart said:
I met her in person and she is not fat. She is a very nice looking girl.
Her reply was to my request for nude pics.
Never push for nudes. Try to see her in person.
Some of the best nudes I got were sent randomly :yes:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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way2smart

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Yorkex said:
Never push for nudes. Try to see her in person.
Some of the best nudes I got were sent randomly :yes:
I didn't push. I just hinted at it.
So how should I reply to her last message?
 

jurry

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Short video of yourself? Wtf? Lol

I dont like your tone seems solid
 

Yorkex

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Stick to your first thought. Add a funny flair to it.
You are right , changing your words mean you submit.
 

Onion

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If you reply to the last text in any way, then you're acknowledging her tone and giving her the power. I would completely ignore she even said that and continue with a random text 'so when are you free to get together' or something in that nature. Indifference my friend, indifference.
 

LondonTowers

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What Onion said. This is a sh1t test with a bit of anti-slvt defence thrown in.
Just start a new conversation.. maybe even leave it a day and just send a " fancy a drink on _day?".

Any kind of response could shake the frame and if her interest is high, the day's silence would make her doubt herself as taking it all too seriously and the prospect of losing you.. thus your meet up offer would be greeted with more receptivity.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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G_Govan

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Honestly, I think the whole thing is silly. However, there was no need for you to get so serious. If you want to see her with her clothes off, you take them off when you're actually with her. Why couldn't you just joke it off?

I actually like when women play innocent, until I make my move. If she puts up too much resistance then that's a separate issue.

You took this somewhere it didn't need to go.

You haven't replied so there's already tension/drama. Let it go and contact her another day like it never happened. Don't bring it up.
 

El Payaso

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DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT RESPOND. Whatever you do, DO NOT REPLY.

Leave things as they are and pick up a few days later.
 

Atom Smasher

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I agree. No reply. In a few days act like absolutely nothing happened.

I would have responded to the initial question along the lines of "What are you in the mood to see? A western? A comedy? A good drama? Let me know what you're in the mood for.

That could open up a world of possibilities.

At least I think I would have said that. It's easy to say when I'm not the one in the trenches in this case.
 

way2smart

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Atom Smasher and El Payaso, I think that would have been the best thing to do. However I replied to her last text, which led to more texts.
I update my original post. What do you guys think?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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way2smart

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jurry said:
Short video of yourself? Wtf? Lol

I dont like your tone seems solid
That's what i replied with. I update my original post
 

LondonTowers

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See.. This is why so many of us said ignore and come back later like it never happened. Now you're getting into some bad emotion territory when you should be in fun excitement territory. I think this all began with the lack of subtlety in your sexual escalation (that should of waited until date night). She now has her defense up in not feeling respected. The good news is I think she actually really likes you and you may just have over done the player vibe. I would send an ambiguous text before bed "You're different, I like that. Night" That kind of cleanses the palette. Then in a few days text her to meet up for a drink.
 

Atom Smasher

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Texting about the relationship (or about anything of importance for that matter) is playing with fire, and almost always ends up dismantling the relationship.

Look what's going on... She's having all these emotions based upon all sorts of speculations about you and about a potential relationship with you. It's out of your control and out of hers.

Very few men understand the damage that excess texting can do. A woman's mind is a swirl of emotions and speculations. Our job is to funnel those emotions into wondering what you're doing while she's away from you and thrilling to the thought of a possible LTR with you.

I've learned the hard way that texting about important matters always deteriorates those matters even further.

Does anyone really think that men and women speak the same language? Virtually every sentence will be assigned different meanings between men and women when vocal intonation and body language are absent.

When a man releases a sentence into the wild, it no longer contains the intended meaning and motivation behind it. It is now subject to her own interpretation, and she will NOT hear what you are actually saying.

Texting is for making plans and for an occasional pot-shot of friendly banter, which should only be an exchange of two or three texts. Anything else is counterproductive, if not today then cumulatively.

Having meaningful conversations via text will work against a man 100% of the time. Like I said, texting can do enormous damage or it can be harnessed by the WISE MAN to steer her emotions to excitement about you.

Texting is a tool for you to use to use to mold and shape her perception of you. The vast majority of a woman's falling in love with a man is accomplished in his complete absence. Our job is to subtly steer her thoughts and emotions to where we want them to go.

I'm carving a carousel horse at the moment. If I make one excess cut, I've damaged the piece and must go into repair mode, mixing filler and molding it to cover the excessive use of my blade. It is far better for me to make minimal, PURPOSEFUL cuts, and then to walk away and come back with a fresh perspective. I can always trim away a little more in order to achieve my desired end, but it is difficult and time-consuming to effect a repair.

Minimalism is the key to any craft. It is the harnessing of time to work with your action in order to attain something that adds pleasure to life.

He who has an ear, let him hear.
 

El Payaso

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LondonTowers said:
See.. This is why so many of us said ignore and come back later like it never happened. Now you're getting into some bad emotion territory when you should be in fun excitement territory. I think this all began with the lack of subtlety in your sexual escalation (that should of waited until date night). She now has her defense up in not feeling respected. The good news is I think she actually really likes you and you may just have over done the player vibe. I would send an ambiguous text before bed "You're different, I like that. Night" That kind of cleanses the palette. Then in a few days text her to meet up for a drink.
What London said. Just reply with what he suggested and don't push for nudes until you've had a couple of dates or even sex. You can also push for nudes if you're both sexting.

Personally. I would just keep things ambiguous and short. Let her imagination do the rest.
 

way2smart

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Atom Smasher said:
Texting about the relationship (or about anything of importance for that matter) is playing with fire, and almost always ends up dismantling the relationship.

Look what's going on... She's having all these emotions based upon all sorts of speculations about you and about a potential relationship with you. It's out of your control and out of hers.

Very few men understand the damage that excess texting can do. A woman's mind is a swirl of emotions and speculations. Our job is to funnel those emotions into wondering what you're doing while she's away from you and thrilling to the thought of a possible LTR with you.

I've learned the hard way that texting about important matters always deteriorates those matters even further.

Does anyone really think that men and women speak the same language? Virtually every sentence will be assigned different meanings between men and women when vocal intonation and body language are absent.

When a man releases a sentence into the wild, it no longer contains the intended meaning and motivation behind it. It is now subject to her own interpretation, and she will NOT hear what you are actually saying.

Texting is for making plans and for an occasional pot-shot of friendly banter, which should only be an exchange of two or three texts. Anything else is counterproductive, if not today then cumulatively.

Having meaningful conversations via text will work against a man 100% of the time. Like I said, texting can do enormous damage or it can be harnessed by the WISE MAN to steer her emotions to excitement about you.

Texting is a tool for you to use to use to mold and shape her perception of you. The vast majority of a woman's falling in love with a man is accomplished in his complete absence. Our job is to subtly steer her thoughts and emotions to where we want them to go.

I'm carving a carousel horse at the moment. If I make one excess cut, I've damaged the piece and must go into repair mode, mixing filler and molding it to cover the excessive use of my blade. It is far better for me to make minimal, PURPOSEFUL cuts, and then to walk away and come back with a fresh perspective. I can always trim away a little more in order to achieve my desired end, but it is difficult and time-consuming to effect a repair.

Minimalism is the key to any craft. It is the harnessing of time to work with your action in order to attain something that adds pleasure to life.

He who has an ear, let him hear.
Great post. Repped!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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