How do I reply to her message?

[El Payaso]

This morning, she got out of the shower and put her wet towel on the bed and laid on it. I told her I don't like having wet towels on my bed. She argued it wasn't wet. I wasn't about to get into an argument about something I can clearly see is wet so I told her to just take it off and she ignored me and picked up her phone.

So I said, "Well, that's the last time you'll be getting my bed wet" and I calmy walked out. She got mad and said she was leaving. I didn't say anything. She left. A few minutes later, I got a text from her saying "You're such a d!ck". I didn't respond. A few minutes later, I started getting hounded with calls from her. I ignored them and routed all of them straight to voicemail.

A few hours later, I get a half-apology email from her saying she really likes me and started listing like 20 reasons she likes from me then she said "I really like you El Payaso but sometimes you annoy me...just the way you say things...very rude. Especially this morning...I feel like you like to do that a lot. Hope you have a nice day."

I'm inclined to keep ignoring her. I know exactly this kind of power play. She wants me to apologize for calling out on a behavior I didn't like so she can play victim. She was also expecting me to beg her not to leave. Lol. I'll kindly show any woman the door any day. If there is something, I've learned, it is that always be ready to walk away from $h!tty behavior.

Anyway, do I keep ignoring until she actually offers a real apology or do I reply back to her?

 

[GotED?]

THIS IS WAR - the first few months of being with a woman...

Be careful of each battle you fight... this is the fight for who's frame is going to be dominant.

Sounds like this woman is a bit b!tchy by nature anyways to challenge you.

Your response depends on:

1. How long have you known her
2. What is her potential and end result in your mind (nothing, HO, LTR material (doesn't seem like it at this point LOL))
3. Can you walk away (or are you emotionally phucked)
4. Do you have other women to focus on.
5. Were you really rude.

You been here long enough, make a good decision and let us know how it goes.

Exodus

 

[El Payaso]

THIS IS WAR - the first few months of being with a woman...

Be careful of each battle you fight... this is the fight for who's frame is going to be dominant.

Sounds like this woman is a bit b!tchy by nature anyways to challenge you.

Your response depends on:

1. How long have you known her
2. What is her potential and end result in your mind (nothing, HO, LTR material (doesn't seem like it at this point LOL))
3. Can you walk away (or are you emotionally phucked)
4. Do you have other women to focus on.
5. Were you really rude.

You been here long enough, make a good decision and let us know how it goes.

Exodus

1) I have known her for just a little over a month.

2) Her potential? I see LTR but she is constantly teating me to see how much she can get away with. They're little things like she'll ask me can she take a snack as she's leaving. I'll say yes. Then she'll say can she take the whole pack. I'll say no. She'll smile and beg. I stay firm. She'll kiss me and try to seduce me and I'll say you know that doesn't work on me, right? She'll be like wow, you're so strong. I like you. Just stupid stuff like that. But you know that saying, I can't remember the exact words but give a woman a mile and they'll take 10 miles.

3) I can always walk away. She's way too invested in me.

4) More or less.

5) I wasn't really rude. I felt she was the one who was rude when she ignored me and picked up her phone to text. All I said was "Well, that's the last time you'll be getting my bed wet".

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Oh women, women, women and the test they throw at men!

Note: rarely are they consciously testing guys - at this point it's wired in their DNA to do these things from time to time. Surprisingly with good reason (not always, but most of the time): to test and see how a man handles himself in an argument with her. She needs to see if (a) you'll stand up for yourself, (b) how much you'll allow her to get away with, and (c) if you're going to be the kind of guy to slap her and beat her to death or handle a situation calmly while still asserting yourself.

The fact that she wrote you anything means she recognizes, on some level, that she messed up. But she probably won't just come out and say "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong." Nor should you need to feel the need to hear these words from her - what's MORE important is her actions going forward: if, the next time she sees you, she doesn't place a wet towel on your bed, that's her way of saying "you were right last time, my bad."

In answer to your question: whatever you do, do NOT write or text her back anything. If there's one thing I've learned over the years it's that women have a way of using the things you typed to her against you later, and because it's documented you can't really argue it. Anytime you think there's an argument or discussion that needs to happen with a woman, do it in person or via an actual phone call. A few things:

1. Do NOT apologize for wanting her to move the towel. That's YOUR bed, and she was being disrespectful towards it.

2. DO, however, apologize for the way in which you handled the situation. There was no need to say "that's the last time you'll be getting my bed wet" - it sounds halfway like a tantrum, and it's pointless since you know you'll be wanting her back over at some point in time. Realistically, you could have gotten her another towel, or taken the 1 minute of time it would have taken to explain to her why you didn't want the towel on the bed. THEN, if she gave you a snotty attitude you could have politely asked her to leave instead of being passive-aggressively sarcastic.

3. Be open to criticism. Again, she was wrong, but she may have a point about you coming off rude to her. You may not THINK the way you're saying things is rude, but definitely take a look back at some of the conversations you've had with her. We don't know the way in which you said you wanted her to move the wet towel off the bed, but it could have been delivered to her in a way that didn't sit well with her.

4. Lastly, if the girl has done something like this before - i.e. not respecting you when making a request about her handling your items - you may want to consider moving on to someone else. I always self-analyze the things I said or did when a situation or argument arises, but if I feel as though I'm being regularly disrespected for no reason I'm inclined to bounce vs. stay just to have somebody.

That's all I got - hope this helps!

 

[El Payaso]

Oh women, women, women and the test they throw at men!

Note: rarely are they consciously testing guys - at this point it's wired in their DNA to do these things from time to time. Surprisingly with good reason (not always, but most of the time): to test and see how a man handles himself in an argument with her. She needs to see if (a) you'll stand up for yourself, (b) how much you'll allow her to get away with, and (c) if you're going to be the kind of guy to slap her and beat her to death or handle a situation calmly while still asserting yourself.

The fact that she wrote you anything means she recognizes, on some level, that she messed up. But she probably won't just come out and say "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong." Nor should you need to feel the need to hear these words from her - what's MORE important is her actions going forward: if, the next time she sees you, she doesn't place a wet towel on your bed, that's her way of saying "you were right last time, my bad."

In answer to your question: whatever you do, do NOT write or text her back anything. If there's one thing I've learned over the years it's that women have a way of using the things you typed to her against you later, and because it's documented you can't really argue it. Anytime you think there's an argument or discussion that needs to happen with a woman, do it in person or via an actual phone call. A few things:

1. Do NOT apologize for wanting her to move the towel. That's YOUR bed, and she was being disrespectful towards it.

2. DO, however, apologize for the way in which you handled the situation. There was no need to say "that's the last time you'll be getting my bed wet" - it sounds halfway like a tantrum, and it's pointless since you know you'll be wanting her back over at some point in time. Realistically, you could have gotten her another towel, or taken the 1 minute of time it would have taken to explain to her why you didn't want the towel on the bed. THEN, if she gave you a snotty attitude you could have politely asked her to leave instead of being passive-aggressively sarcastic.

3. Be open to criticism. Again, she was wrong, but she may have a point about you coming off rude to her. You may not THINK the way you're saying things is rude, but definitely take a look back at some of the conversations you've had with her. We don't know the way in which you said you wanted her to move the wet towel off the bed, but it could have been delivered to her in a way that didn't sit well with her.

4. Lastly, if the girl has done something like this before - i.e. not respecting you when making a request about her handling your items - you may want to consider moving on to someone else. I always self-analyze the things I said or did when a situation or argument arises, but if I feel as though I'm being regularly disrespected for no reason I'm inclined to bounce vs. stay just to have somebody.

That's all I got - hope this helps!

Thanks for the advice. She's a good girl. Cooks, cleans and is very much into me but like you said, she's heavily wired to throw tests at me all the time.

So basically, avoid passive aggressive sarcasm and do not talking to her about this over text or email. I had a hunch not to reply over text/email because of how bland it is and how easily it can be misread.

I know I might sound clueless but what frame do I take and what do I say when she calls me again. I want to keep this about her disrespectful behavior and absolutely do not want to find myself apologizing for calling her out. I'm a nice guy and never say mean things to anyone unless they act disrespectful.

 

[JoeMarron]

This whole situation seems pretty trivial so I wouldn't bother bringing it up again. At the same time it actually isn't trivial at all. She's actively acting against your wishes and being a b!tch for no reason. It would have been a simple common courtesy for her to take the towel off your bed but she chose to argue with you about it. LTR material? Bullsh!t, she sounds like a bratty sixteen year old. Keep her in the sex only zone.

 

[donking]

Calibration is key. Next time just tell her "hey can you make sure to keep the wet stuff off my bed" and say that with a smile and wink. She'll be more likely to do things when you she wants to earn your approval. Women HATE to be told what to do, but if you do it with a playful manner, they'll be more likely to do it.

There is a time for showing anger for sure, like when she goes out with a guy "friend" regularly, and a time for playfulness.

 

[El Payaso]

Can't bang her. She's on her period.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

That's probably why she wanted to keep the towel on then, so she wouldn't bleed on your bed, lol

 

[MtnMan]

Can't bang her. She's on her period.

does not compute

 

[JoeMarron]

Can't bang her. She's on her period.

A chick that won't let you bang on her period has low interest. Next that ho! (semi serious)

 

[El Payaso]

A chick that won't let you bang on her period has low interest. Next that ho! (semi serious)

I already banged her the first day of her period (I didn't know at the time) and there was blood all over my sheets. I'm not that hungry for pu$$y. I'd much rather wait till it's over.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Crimson tide time is best enjoyed under a running shower IMO and I've known chicks that will be excessively *****y during that time out of a need to get some serious beef injections besides the usual emotional stuff.

 

[_sideways_]

This whole situation seems pretty trivial so I wouldn't bother bringing it up again. At the same time it actually isn't trivial at all. She's actively acting against your wishes and being a b!tch for no reason. It would have been a simple common courtesy for her to take the towel off your bed but she chose to argue with you about it. LTR material? Bullsh!t, she sounds like a bratty sixteen year old. Keep her in the sex only zone.

Lol beat me to it...its trivial...she turned it not trivial because she couldn't say...my bad...and moved on with life. My ex was like that...I was like OK...I'm done for today see ya.
Then the texts came and the games and finally the I'm sorry.... I always act and say...oh that.. I totally forgot about that...I'm over it you know I don't waste my energy being anything but positive. Word for word... Stops her dead in her tracks. But until she comes back with the apology I maintain radio silence and enjoy my freedom.

That's what u should do. Give them nothing...but take from them everything lol jk..

Point is ur too grown and awesome to play that game.

 

[El Payaso]

So just to give you guys an update on what happened. It's a tad bit lengthy but bear with me.

After her email, I got another text from her telling me to check my email. I called her and told her I got her email. I told her that I didn't like her behavior that morning and something else she did a few days ago (I bought something for her and she left the trash on my bedroom floor even though I told her to put it in the garbage.)

She said "Really? That's what this is about? That's so petty". I told her "Well, it's not petty to me and it was disrespectful. I don't like disrespectful behavior. You do realize how old you are, right? She said "Yes". I said "You're the same age as my youngest sister and she would never do something like that to me. Telling me to pick up her trash".

She said "Oh, so you're dating your younger sister now?" I said "That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is your behavior was very disrespectful and us dating doesn't mean you should take my kindness for weakness".

She said "You do know that I've dated people far older than you, right?" I said "Yes". She said "And none of them have ever addressed me this way". I said "Good. Maybe they like disrespectful behavior but I don't". She said "Okay" and there was a long silence then we hung up.

A few minutes later I got a call from her and she said "I'm sorry. You're right that was disrespectful." I accepted her apology and we hung up.

When she came over last night, she was all over me than usual. Being way more affectionate than she usually is (and she's very affectionate). She cooked fried rice and chicken for me. We didn't have sex because she's still on her period.

What got me though was that I was in the bathroom when she left and when I entered my bedroom, the bed was laid and the empty bottles of water on the floor (I like to drink a lot of water before bed) were gone. She even put the clothes I was going to wear today on the bed for me. I was a little shocked and pleased.

 

[GotED?]

:trouble:

Way to go, BIG BOY - you just ESTABLISHED your frame with her and she complied.

This is an excellent example. WAR...... (and never be afraid to walk away)...until she falls in line with your frame.

That was a major sh!t test, but women NEED and WANT to be dominated - but sometimes it ain't easy to get over that B!TCH HILL. (she sounds quite dominate/masculine/b!tch-like from what took place)

Thanks for sharing.


Exodus

 

[El Payaso]

:trouble:

Way to go, BIG BOY - you just ESTABLISHED your frame with her and she complied.

This is an excellent example. WAR...... (and never be afraid to walk away)...until she falls in line with your frame.

That was a major sh!t test, but women NEED and WANT to be dominated - but sometimes it ain't easy to get over that B!TCH HILL. (she sounds quite dominate/masculine/b!tch-like from what took place)

Thanks for sharing.


Exodus

Thanks. Reading everyone's posts and the guides outlined here have really helped me.

At this point, it's my frame going on. Anytime she misbehaves, I just have to state my displeasure with it and keep it at that. She will understand what I mean and if she doesn't change her behavior, I will simply pull back my attention and affection until more drastic actions are required like dumping her.