"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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How do I recover from this one?

A

Adam B

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So, I broke up with my girl like a week ago, because I liked this other girl a lot better. So the other girl wants me to go see Wall E with her and I accept.

Things were going good. We held hands in the movie and cuddled a little I and all that jant. We get outside the theater and there's hardly any people and we were talking for a little while. I was thinking about kissing her and giving her my little "that's all you get tonight" kiss tease routine thing that I always do. But I never really had an opening because she jsut kept on talking. She finally shuts up and I realize that I can kiss her now, but there's a problem. I spent so much damn time thinking about kissing her that I built it up a little too much in my head and when I finally did go for it, I started shaking. I ****ING STARTED SHAKING! WTF? My lips, my hands, everything. Shaking. So of course she pulls away. Then she says, "you're twitching. Adam, I'm not gonna kiss you if you're twitching like that." or something along those lines.

Literally right after that happens, her dad pulls up to take us home. While we're talking to her dad in the car about the movie and shit, she text me and says, "Sorry. Next time?" and I reply with "Mos Def." I was trying to stay as cool as I could, given the very uncoool situation.

Ok, I know what I did wrong and I'm pretty sure I know what caused the shaking, but how can I recover from that? I feel like I made her feel like the prize, by shaking. Like, I know she's just gonna tell all her girlfriends and they're all gonna be like, "Aww, poor Adam." And I simply can not have that **** because I know some of those girls and they're pretty damn hot.

So is there anything I need to do to redeem myself? What can I do to reverse the whole "her being the prize thing"? How do I make damn sure that it doesn't happen again?

Sorry if this post seems a little rushed and isn't written bvery well. I've been out driniking and just got home.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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T

TheBucketOfTruth

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Ouch man tricky situation. You could have played off the shaking a bit with a joking excuse like "the film was just so moving that I'm overcome with emotion" or something like that even if you both know it's a lie.

Fortunately for you, from the sounds of things (her response, specifically the text), I think she let you off the hook on this one. It may have knocked you down a bit, but I think you're still good. Just assume that by her saying "I'm not gonna kiss you if you're twitching like that," that she would have kissed you had you not been shaking. I say just go out with her again and use all the tools available to you. Go in for the kiss next time knowing that she'll reciprocate (even if you don't).

PS: Just be happy you're still young doing these things. When you're older and out in the "real world," one can get nexted for far less.
 
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Adam B

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TheBucketOfTruth said:
Ouch man tricky situation. You could have played off the shaking a bit with a joking excuse like "the film was just so moving that I'm overcome with emotion" or something like that even if you both know it's a lie.

Fortunately for you, from the sounds of things (her response, specifically the text), I think she let you off the hook on this one. It may have knocked you down a bit, but I think you're still good. Just assume that by her saying "I'm not gonna kiss you if you're twitching like that," that she would have kissed you had you not been shaking. I say just go out with her again and use all the tools available to you. Go in for the kiss next time knowing that she'll reciprocate (even if you don't).

PS: Just be happy you're still young doing these things. When you're older and out in the "real world," one can get nexted for far less.
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Haha yes. I'm totally gonna use that excuse, next time I talk to her. She'll love it.

And I know for a fact that she would have kissed me had I not been twitching. But now I'm afraid I'm gonna do it again, since it's already happened once. It just really scares me, because it's never really happened before and it decides to crop up now.

She'll probably end up thinking it's "cute" though. Could that work in my favor?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Bling

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Don't worry too much about it. She wants to see you again. Man up, and you'll be fine. Take it as an experience. :up:
 
T

TheBucketOfTruth

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Adam B said:
And I know for a fact that she would have kissed me had I not been twitching. But now I'm afraid I'm gonna do it again, since it's already happened once. It just really scares me, because it's never really happened before and it decides to crop up now.
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The more you worry in advance about it happening again, the more chance it'll actually happen again. Just don't sweat it, and you'll be fine. Knowing for sure that she'll kiss you should be enough to kill your nervous shaking.
 
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