How do I proceed? Next her?

[green69]

Met a girl 1.5 years ago at a lounge, we hung out a few times. Nothing really happened between us and I wasn't feeling a good connection so I stopped talking with her. Bumped into each other here and there at school, but last week we actually set up another meeting. We agreed to meet up for coffee. It went really well actually we had a lot to talk about - I had a good time.

She texted me a few days ago saying "Last time was really fun we should hang out sometime soon!!" so I asked her if she wanted to hang out Thursday, she said she was busy at school. So I suggested Friday night we go to a comedy club. She texted back saying she was busy Friday but we should go for coffee Monday . Am I just wasting my time? I feel kind of disappointed being downgraded to a Friday night date type even to a weekday coffee get together. I told her I might be able to but I'm not sure yet...

 

[Igetit!]

She texted me a few days ago saying "Last time was really fun we should hang out sometime soon!!" so I asked her if she wanted to hang out Thursday, she said she was busy at school. So I suggested Friday night we go to a comedy club. She texted back saying she was busy Friday but we should go for coffee Monday . Am I just wasting my time? I feel kind of disappointed being downgraded to a Friday night date type even to a weekday coffee get together.

So you two had a date,then the next two times you asked her out,she gave you excuses. Hmmm.


My first question would be what the heck happened on the date?



According to you it went well,but if she keeps giving you reason after reason why SHE CAN'T see you again,maybe it didn't go as well for her as it did for you.



And going for coffee? I guess that's ok,but that's usually what women do to catch up/chat with each other. It's not usually "romantic".



I say to CALL HER (don't text),and ask her out again,however,you'll have to give her emotions CPR first.



Another thing:you said you didn't like being "downgraded" from a Friday night date to coffee.



Well it was your fault you got downgraded.

You're the MAN here. It's your job to lead,to control,to take charge.


When she suggested coffee,you should have been like,"No,we're not doing the coffee thing again. That was ok,but I have something better in mind".


Anyway,you can next her if you want,but I'd call her one more time,talk for a little bit,pull out the jumper cables for her emotions and give them a jolt,then ask her out.


If you can ask her out WHILE she in the middle of feeling an emotion,your chances of her saying yes should increase.

 

[tafakna]

She texted me a few days ago saying "Last time was really fun we should hang out sometime soon!!" so I asked her if she wanted to hang out Thursday, she said she was busy at school. So I suggested Friday night we go to a comedy club. She texted back saying she was busy Friday but we should go for coffee Monday . Am I just wasting my time? I feel kind of disappointed being downgraded to a Friday night date type even to a weekday coffee get together. I told her I might be able to but I'm not sure yet...

This happens over and over here. There's the PUA goal and the 'I wanna date this nice girl' goals, and they are completely different. By what you wrote, it's safe to assume you fall in the latter. So forget the fast track to sealing the deal here, it won't help you.

The girl is not running from you, she's running from the obligations and hassle implied by you sounding too anxious.

You tried to schedule a Friday Night Date and she came back with a Monday Afternoon Get-Together. NO TRANSLATIONS should be needed but they always are so: 'I've liked hanging out with you and getting to know you, so let's do it again. Just please don't pressure me by trying to extract any sort of commitment so soon'.

That's all there's to it. Besides sounding like having no social life, you sounded desperate to escalate things. TRUST ME, that's not how things happen. Men decide in a matter of seconds what girls they want, girls also have first impressions but they ignore it in favor of what's called a 'memory trail' (i.e. a collection of what she experienced with someone).

Keep things moving without appearing desperate. Go out with your friends and play the field so you don't cling to this girl. And keep going for coffee and talking until she gets more confident that you're dating material.

Good luck.

 

[thedude4242]

she asked to hang out again which is a plus. it is yours now not to mess it up.