"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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how do i play this???

matt428carr

Don Juan
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hey guys...have a question i need some help with....

so i met this chick on POF....sent a few emails back and fourth...kept it light not to show too much intrest...gave me her # without me asking...

so we talk on the phone for an hour(i know,my bad)and she seems pretty interested.so we text a bit back and forth as well over the next few days(keeping it to a minimum to not show too much intrest)and she invites me to come see her at work(shes a waitress).so i go down there and shes all cool with me,eating off my plate,sitting down and having a good time.she says shell call me when she gets out of work...

no call....

now i dont call or text her at all....the next day she text me like nothing ever happened...saying whats up and stuff...i play it cool,never say a word about it(hey im a busy dj right?:)...a couple more days go by...i tell her that im free tonight and want to see her...she says she cant but shell call me the next day...

bet you can figure it out...

so i see her last night(out with my buddies at her place of work...we go there sometimes)and i approach and say hi,chat very briefly and i eject to my friends....never mention once about her flakyness...she never comes by to say hi to us...so were leaving and on the way out i say "see ya" and she grabs my hand with a big pouty lip...i just smile and keep walkin....


so whats the deal here?should i just tell her to beat it?did i play this right?should i cut all contact till she contacts me?ive been really good about that to this point...i am back new to the game and workin hard on dumping my AFC mentality...

come on guys help a brother out here....
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Scars

Master Don Juan
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Looks like you're doing everything right. Just keep the busy mentality in your head, and be completely unreactive to her bullsh!t. It sounds like it was just a test, and so far you're passing. The solution here is to start spinning more plates. Don't go out of your way to talk to her, if you see her again just do exactly like how you did. Don't ignore the fact that she is there just continue being friendly. If she flakes then shrug it off, you're going to have other plates so who gives a fvck? Stay busy, keep the confident frame and start seeing other chicks and watch this girls IL sky rocket.
 
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