How do I NOT have a "friendly" date?

[Reaper]

Hey all! I used to be registered under another account, which for some reason has had it's posting privleges disabled for whatever reason. Anyhow, it's really been a while. Havn't been here in about 2 years. What can I say, I havn't needed you guys, the advice on this site was just too good the first time around.

Anyway, what finally brings me back around other than nostalgic reasons is, yup, you guessed it, a girl. Since I've gone on hiatus, I havn't really had to much trouble with girls, dating and all that hoopla and still don't to this day (which I have my fellow DJs to thank for). However, I've come upon a situation that I thought I might share to possibly get some advice from some who may or may not have had a similar experience. So the story goes as follows:

There's this girl who I am very good friends with that I've always been attracted to (both physically and personality wise), but I have never really made a move because her boyfriend was a work buddy of mine and blah blah blah, bros before hoes and all that jazz. They wound up breaking up a few months ago (not the most pleasant of break ups) and she basically got me in the divorce. After this whole event, we started hanging out on a regular basis. At this point I didn't try to move on her either, I was simply being a friend and just hanging out and having a good time. I know what you're all thinking, "WTF is wrong with you!", but I was never hard up on her and in all honesty it didn't even cross my mind... at first. Eventually, when our "get-togethers" became more frequent I began noticing a lot of subtle "signs". She was always really excited to see me, always touchy-feely, constant "I'm so happy you came", etcetera and so forth. But then the next day she would be rather indifferent. Not being a fan of flaky girls I decided to test the waters before jumping right in. We wen't out on a few "friendly" dates. I took her out for drinks, out to the club, she took me out for lunch (a reschedule after she missed a dinner date). During all these she was always giving off "that vibe", but then whenever we would go out with other people, she'd just kind of became a little more distant. This flip-flopped around for a little while and eventually I got tired of guessing and walked away. I could have just went for it and found out for sure, but I figured it'd be best just to stay friends and move on to better and bigger things.

Fast-forward to the present. Due to busy schedules of both parties, we havn't seen each other that often in past months. Until recently where we've been hanging out more frequently again. And it wound up starting to be more of the same. Privately I get very "positive" signals (intriguing conversations full of kino, "pleasant" little txt msgs), but around other friends, not so much. But this time, I went the other way. I got sick of playing games and asked her out. So to make a long story even longer, we're going out this weekend.

Now here is where I ask for advice (finally ). I've taken plenty of girls out, but not in the "traditional" romantic date sense. This time I am going for that. The triple D; Dinner, Drinks, and Dancing. What I'm asking from you guys is any ideas to keep that "friendly date" vibe out. Considering we've pretty much done all of these at different intervals in the past, I gotta try to be original about it. I want to get that "traditional" date point across without being too cheesy or cliche. I figured I'd start out the night with the good ol' single flower at her doorstep just for fun (I know, I know, cheesy and cliche. What a hypocrit I am ). I was going to take her to a nice Italian restaurant, then to some type of lounge for some drinks, and finish off at a classy club to shake some booty.

A few issues that I'm concerned with: Conversation topics. I'm not exactly getting to know this girl, we're pretty well familiar with each other. I kind of want to avoid friendly banter. Also, just not sure how I should go about a k close, if at all. I don't want to pull it at her door at the end of the night, but I'm gonna need some decent intimate conversations during the night to get her vibing so I can find a window to go for it.

Anyway, that's it. Any suggestions? I'm sure it's the little things that'll count.

P.S. It's good to be back fellas.

 

[Bible_Belt]

escaping the friend zone

You are deep in friend zone territory. You can't buy your way out with Italian food.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=97506&highlight="friend+zone"

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=96086&highlight="friend+zone"

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16942
linked from:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=95339&highlight="friend+zone"

A couple of the posts on this last thread say it well:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=93326&highlight="friend+zone"
Don Juanabbe:
view all women as objects of sex and pursue any interactions in that manner from the get go. Avoid being her emotional tampon and you will be fine.

WesCottII:
As Pook would say: "I have enough friends thanks."

 

[Reaper]

Meh. Normally I'd agree with you as I've been in plenty of "friend zones" to realize when it's a lost cause (what can I say, I'm a friendly guy). However, this one does have a chance, otherwise I would not have even considered it. I'm not buying anything with Italian, I just like the food. Plus it has a nice, romantic atmosphere.

Thanks for the reply, but I already know where the situation stands. It may or may not work out, doesn't bother me one bit either way. Just need some good ideas now is all.

 

[Macgyver]

The only reason a girl would put you in a friendszone would either be:

1. you're too ugly for her
2. you're too eager for her
3. (if she's smart) you're incompatible with her

Trying to avoid it or go around it is never going to work. That's like a really ugly or fat chick trying to smooth out a deal between me and her to have a relationship, I feel nothing for her!

 

[Bible_Belt]

I think it is because you have not kissed her. She would not spend so much time with you if she did not see something. She is probably frustrated, too, at your failure to make a move.

 

[brenbaus]

seems like one chick i am really good friends with, we hang out alot, go on friendly "dates" (her bf dosent care, cause he knows i will not make a move on her). She still gives me the same signs that you are getting, when we are alone, she is on top of me, telling me how glad she is to have me around, blah, blah, blah. Here is the moral of the story, when we first started getting real "friendly" i grew a set of balls and asked her to be my gf. She said no cause we didnt have "chemistry." To this day we remain friends, and that is all we will ever be. Sometimes the chase is more interesting than the kill, this may be one of those cases.

 

[Reaper]

Yeah, that's pretty much the case. I figured I'd give it a shot just to lay it to rest once and for all. If it turn's out she doesn't want what I do, we will definitely still remain friends.

She is probably frustrated, too, at your failure to make a move.

Hehe, yeah, and I'm frustrated at her for not being more obvious. But that's just how it goes I guess.

 

[JMillion]

This is obviously a good opportunity and you're obviously looking at her as a possible girlfriend. Fine.

But why the dinner date? Moving out of the friendzone takes escalating physical contact. You can't do that from across the table at dinner.

This dinner thing you're planning should happen after you've atleast kissed her.

And for the love of God, stop being a f*cking cliche. A loose rule of thumb is never buy a girl flowers until after you've slept with her. It applies in this case.

 

[Reaper]

But why the dinner date? Moving out of the friendzone takes escalating physical contact. You can't do that from across the table at dinner.

Fair enough. But can you give me any better suggestions?

I was planning on getting to that later with drinks and then even more so with the dancing. I didn't think it entirely necessary to come bursting out of the gate.

And I was only toying with the flower idea for the pure ridiculous cheese that it is. But if you really think it's that bad of an idea, I'll just skip it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Yes, skip the flowers.

And plus, she is on the rebound from a ltr. She probably wants a good lay more than she does romance. Newly single people tend to be more skeptical of romance, because they are jaded from the breakup.

 

[BuckwildNYC]

Alcohol, kino, and eye contact is what you need to get out and stay out of the friend zone. Like a couple guys said above me................... skip the flowers :flowers: and the dinner, they are not gonna help you at all with this chick.

You have to take her to a lounge with couches. Preferably with not too loud music and dim light. You need to have this girl right next to you on the couch like you are in your living room. Then get the alcohol rolling in. If she orders some sissy-mary girlie drink then you need to up the ante and order some shots. Something strong like tequila or maybe some Bacardi Limon.

Now just let your personality fly. Make her laugh. The alcohol should be kicking in about now so she should be relaxed and open. Just wait for her signs of interest. If she starts leaning on you or putting her hands on your knee then you are in like flynn. Make sure to keep the convo light and fun. If you guys have some serious kino going on then start making more and more eye contact. Keep her gaze and give her a sexy smirk. If shes smiling and giggling at you then shes ready to be kissed. While keeping eye contact go in slow. If you warmed her up right then theres very little chance that she's gonna turn her face. O and ease up with the tongue killa. This is the first kiss. Just give her all lips. And not little tapp kisses. Just one long (bout 5 second) warm, soft, senual kiss. Then say something cute and chill. After a lil while she'll be all over you.

This is my MONEY first date. I don't know where you live but there should be a place this somewhere near you unless you live in OHIO. Remember alcohol, kino, and eye contact...................this is of course assuming you look good, smell good, and don't have the personality of a door knob of which then I can't help you

 

[Reaper]

Alcohol, kino, and eye contact is what you need to get out and stay out of the friend zone. Like a couple guys said above me................... skip the flowers :flowers: and the dinner, they are not gonna help you at all with this chick.

You have to take her to a lounge with couches. Preferably with not too loud music and dim light. You need to have this girl right next to you on the couch like you are in your living room. Then get the alcohol rolling in. If she orders some sissy-mary girlie drink then you need to up the ante and order some shots. Something strong like tequila or maybe some Bacardi Limon.

Now just let your personality fly. Make her laugh. The alcohol should be kicking in about now so she should be relaxed and open. Just wait for her signs of interest. If she starts leaning on you or putting her hands on your knee then you are in like flynn. Make sure to keep the convo light and fun. If you guys have some serious kino going on then start making more and more eye contact. Keep her gaze and give her a sexy smirk. If shes smiling and giggling at you then shes ready to be kissed. While keeping eye contact go in slow. If you warmed her up right then theres very little chance that she's gonna turn her face. O and ease up with the tongue killa. This is the first kiss. Just give her all lips. And not little tapp kisses. Just one long (bout 5 second) warm, soft, senual kiss. Then say something cute and chill. After a lil while she'll be all over you.

This is my MONEY first date. I don't know where you live but there should be a place this somewhere near you unless you live in OHIO. Remember alcohol, kino, and eye contact...................this is of course assuming you look good, smell good, and don't have the personality of a door knob of which then I can't help you

Well, this is pretty much almost exactly what I had planned (lucky me that she likes tequila, heh, she'll probably suggest it before I do ). However, I'm still going with the dancing afterwards and I'm still going with the dinner beforehand. Truth be told, at this point, I'm just really ****ing hungry.

Anyhow, thanks for the quick tips guys. I gotta go sh!t, shower, and shave and then I'm off. Wish me luck.