How do I loosen up/have fun?

[AlphaNoob]

It's very hard for me to really enjoy myself in certain situations. I take life really seriously.
Like at a party (college) I'm someone that stays away from the center of attention. I don't do good in group conversations. I talk to people one on one most of the time and even then it seems like I can't make the conversation fun. Before when I used to drink, even getting drunk would not loosen me up. In the end I still feel inhibited.

I think this inhibition comes from the fact that me and my mom immigrated to America and life was hard for her. I remember one time she cried because of it and I really hated seeing my mom that sad. It was so sad for me that I didn't want to look her direction. She made me promise her that I'll really do something with my life and I think that's why I take life so seriously. The circumstances that I was brought up in made me mature really fast for my age. And I think from there on was when I started wanting to become better, stronger, and not be weak. I'm a pre-med right now and all I do is study. It's the only thing I know how to do. When I do go to parties, I don't find myself enjoying them. When I'm at a party all I can think of is how I could be utilizing my time to study. But I want to be able to go to parties and enjoy them. (It's not only parties, it's almost all the social interactions that I have) I want to bring that part of me out again, but it won't come out. Or has that part of me already died?

So how do I fix this? I'm not growing socially and I feel like it's actually keeping my back. How can I loosen myself up?

 

[backseatjuan]

You need to relax and loosen up, stay cool, use your head before your mouth opens. What is your weight height?

 

[speed dawg]

You sound very introverted. First step is, realize that you are OK and your concerns are the same that many others have. Read the book Introvert Advantage. You'll need to learn how to manage your energy levels as to maximize them when you know you'll be at parties and such.

The only way to be more interesting is to learn more things and gain confidence. You are who you are.

 

[Atom Smasher]

It's because you're a reactor and a taker. You feed off the energy around you.

Make a point every day of making light-hearted small talk with people, both male and female. Shift to genuinely caring about their well-being. Think of yourself as providing a little bit of fun and cheerfulness into their lives.

That is the cure for your problem, if you are smart enough to recognize it.

In a nutshell: Provide fun to yourself and others. Don't receive fun... provide it.

 

[Korrupt]

It's because you're a reactor and a taker. You feed off the energy around you.

Make a point every day of making light-hearted small talk with people, both male and female. Shift to genuinely caring about their well-being. Think of yourself as providing a little bit of fun and cheerfulness into their lives.

That is the cure for your problem, if you are smart enough to recognize it.

In a nutshell: Provide fun to yourself and others. Don't receive fun... provide it.

Great post here. I'm quite introverted and earlier in my life I was extremely shy. I still feel the "remnants" today. I notice that in conversations I'm less of a talker/story teller and more of a listener and reactor.