How do i help my gf?

[X-ecution]

guys, this is sort of a serious matter, so no wise-ass posts

my girlfriend is really depresed lately. she has so many things to do, so much responsibility, and i don't think that she can handle it all. it's kind of getting to her, and she not as happy anymore because of it. she was a very happy person this summer when school was out and we just chilled all day, but it seems ever since school started she's been down in the dumps. probably doesn't help that's she's 2 hours away from me either

however, the work load stress is understandable. however, she seems to have some deep self-esteem and insecurity issues that. she's thinks very lowly of herself and it's now starting to concern me alot. she thinks that she is doesn't deserve to be happy, and that she is doomed to be alone forever. this may be due to the fact that she has had some failed relationships in the past with *******s who cheat on her and guys whom she found out were only using her.

she also thinks that she is an awful person, and a horrible gf. I got angry at her for doing something stupid today and she really does not take my anger well. she thinks lower of herself and proceeds to think that she is indeed a horrible gf. she feels like she doesn't make me happy, and that no one really likes her. she calls herself a slut because she's dated alot of guys, and has higher numbers than me.

sometimes it's odd, because she is a really nice, outspoken girl who doesn't take crap from anyone. it's wierd to know that someone so bold really thinks that way about herself. she's done so much for me AND my familiy. and i don't see why she would think that she doesn't deserve to be with me.

now is know you guys wold just say to go find another girl who is more confident then her, but you have to understand that i really want to help her because i care about her. and it hurts me alot to know that she really thinks so low of herself when she is a really great person. i just wish she would see it like everyone else does.

thanks guys.

 

[KontrollerX]

You think she's suffering some form of depression severe or moderate or do you think she's just going through a phase where she's feeling down?

Anyway you can't really help a person unless they first want to help themselves but if you think this is serious enough where she might continue the downward spiral and attempt suicide or something like that see if you can organize an intervention or something.

If its not that bad just be supportive and someone she can lean on who listens to her.

 

[X-ecution]

^^^ good point. i think it might be alittle bit of both, because even this summer she was saying things about how i was so great and she doesn't derserve me and all that. having so much work only seems to have made it worse


i'm very supportive of her and she really appreciates it. she loves me and always thanks me for being there for her. but she's still unhappy

maybe it's something she might have to get over herself. i just want her to be happy and to see herself in the same light that i do.

 

[sav]

being there for her is really all you can do....

she seems to make you happy, you should do little random things to make her happy .. randomly.... might snap her out of her daily routine that is making her so miserable...

 

[DJDamage]

This may be due to the fact that she has had some failed relationships in the past with *******s who cheat on her and guys whom she found out were only using her.

Hypocrisy at its best. Let me tell you something about girls who claim to be used up by *******s, players and cheaters..... They never learn. You can't blame all those men for her plight, this is the type of guys she is attracted too and if she can't learn from her mistakes she is bound to repeat them. Those so called *******s might also be good guys who decided not to be exclusive with her and that is why she is calling them such.

I have seen this attitude and depression before in women and what usually happens is that they dump the nice guy in their life and run stright to the arms of a bad boy to fulfill the chaos and drama missing from her life.

 

[sav]

Hypocrisy at its best. Let me tell you something about girls who claim to be used up by *******s, players and cheaters..... They never learn. You can't blame all those men for her plight, this is the type of guys she is attracted too and if she can't learn from her mistakes she is bound to repeat them. Those so called *******s might also be good guys who decided not to be exclusive with her and that is why she is calling them such.

I have seen this attitude and depression before in women and what usually happens is that they dump the nice guy in their life and run stright to the arms of a bad boy to fulfill the chaos and drama missing from her life.

well put....

some girls never grow up... life will teach them one way or another if they arent smart enough to learn by themselves.

 

[X-ecution]

well put....

some girls never grow up... life will teach them one way or another if they arent smart enough to learn by themselves.

i dont think she's blaming these men. because some of them were actually good bf's, but decided to cheat on her because she wouldnt do something like give head. some of them were also hyper possesive and acted like they didnt trust her. and most of these men were nice guys, not badboy types

because she's failed with like 8 men she thinks that there's something wrong with her. and that she is a slut for being with so many guys, when the truth is that they fvcked up. i dont even care about that because she was dating just like i'm doing and i try not to hold double standards

also suprisingly she is an alpha chick. a natural leader, and has never been dumped. so it's not the guys she's blaming, she blames herself for wasting time with such men.

i keep telling her that she needs to put the past behind her, but she feels like i will do the same to her, i know it.