"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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How do I handle this?

notorio

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Hello, I'm new to the fourm but I've read extensively into the DJB and have done my fair share of searching.

This is the background... My g/f is overseas and the impossible has happened--she cheated on me. I've NEVER EVER thought she'd be the type of girl that would cheat. She comes back in 10 days. The guy she cheated with--she says she doesn't like/love/want him and never did. She says she wants me back and that she truly loves me. I don't know what to believe anymore, but I do think she's going through some sort of mid-life crisis. However, this will not stand on my part--I am going to do the right thing and NEXT her. I don't need this. I plan to make her wait and do this when she gets back.

Now my problem... What do I do about this guy? He has already apologized to me for cheating. I don't want to let him think he's gotten off this easy though. I won't lie, I want to smash his face in with a baseball bat, but I'm the alpha male here. He's agreed to call me and I want to know what to say to this guy after he apologizes again.

Should I even bother? Advice please, fellow gurus...
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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08aisaac

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Ditch the ***** and tell the guy he can have her. I think she put him up to appoligizing. Just next and forgive him and continue with your life.
 

OneArmDeeJay

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Sounds to me this is another person posting “I know what to do but what should I do?” just do what you feel like. We can’t tell you what you should do only what we would do if we were you in your situation. Ultimately the choice is yours so with that here goes my 2 cents.

First I personally don’t see what the problem is,

GF Cheated on you = F*ck off b*tch and NEXT her a$$ right then and there. And then move on completely.

Plain and simple

What about the dude?

He apologizes and didn’t know she was taken, fine, let bygones be bygones. If he is your friend which from your post sounds like just some random dude I say f*ck off. No true friend of mine would do that to me so the two of you can go to h^ll.
 

NSUballer

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Give her another chance. SIKE!!!

Once a cheater always a cheater.

Or you could do one better and fuk random chics to get back at her and see if she still wants you.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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darth yoda

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It doesn't seem so impossible now, does it?

Cut off all contact with her, and don't take your anger out on the guy. It's your exes fault, she obviously wanted him to bang her.

Oh yeah, don't bother talking to the guy either. Waste of time. Move on quick or else this could get drawn out even further.
 

notorio

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Thanks for the responses guys.

The guy is not my friend. Random tool. No banging was involved--kiss and sleep over. What I meant by "Alpha Male" is that I'm better and won't stoop down to his level. He knew she was my girlfriend. She did tell him to apologize because I told her to. I just need some ideas of what to say or not to say when he calls me to apologize again.

Thanks
 

darth yoda

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He just kissed her and slept over?! You really believe that?

Regardless, why are you going to waste time talking to him for, especially if he isn't anything to you.

Don't pick up the phone. Make a clean cut from all this drama.
 

notorio

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Originally posted by darth yoda
He just kissed her and slept over?! You really believe that?

Regardless, why are you going to waste time talking to him for, especially if he isn't anything to you.

Don't pick up the phone. Make a clean cut from all this drama.
Yes, I know for a fact. You can say I have insiders...

So, u think I should just ignore his phone call when he does call?
 

darth yoda

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What will you gain by talking to the guy your girl cheated on you with?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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BigMike

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Originally posted by NSUballer
Give her another chance. SIKE!!!

Once a cheater always a cheater.

Or you could do one better and fuk random chics to get back at her and see if she still wants you.
"They say you cant turn a bad girl good
but once a good girl's gone bad,
Shes gone forever, Im gonna mourn forever.
Dude you gotta live with the fact she did you wrong forever"

Jay-Z (Song Cry) changed a bit for the poster
 

BigMike

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Also let me say that the dude didnt cheat on you. She did.

He's a pimp/playa/alpha whatever you want to call it. Dont be mad at him, IMO.

If he's your friend thats another issue.
 

notorio

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BigMike--READ THE PREVIOUS POSTS--thanks for being captain obvious. I'm dealing with the phone call situation that is going to happen in the near future, not getting over her/him, etc, etc.
 

Tazman

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Now my problem... What do I do about this guy? He has already apologized to me for cheating. I don't want to let him think he's gotten off this easy though. I won't lie, I want to smash his face in with a baseball bat, but I'm the alpha male here. He's agreed to call me and I want to know what to say to this guy after he apologizes again.
I personally don't understand this. So what if he apologizes? It's meaningless, he got what he wanted and he's moving on, no skin off his back. It makes you look really weak to ask for an apology from a guy you don't know, who might I add, didn't put a gun to your girls head and force her to do anything. She did it because SHE WANTED TOO. Now she's coming home to her "backup" plan.................YOU!
 

notorio

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Originally posted by Tazman
I personally don't understand this. So what if he apologizes? It's meaningless, he got what he wanted and he's moving on, no skin off his back. It makes you look really weak to ask for an apology from a guy you don't know, who might I add, didn't put a gun to your girls head and force her to do anything. She did it because SHE WANTED TOO. Now she's coming home to her "backup" plan.................YOU!
Yep, you're right. I don't really care about his apology. It's the fact that he is GOING TO CALL AGAIN. I just want to know what to do about that.

In other news, I've already hooked up with this girl I work with... :)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Tazman

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In other news, I've already hooked up with this girl I work with...
:D

If he calls just say it doesn't matter anymore, cya!
 

Melvin

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Well, the important thing is that you say you moved on with another girl. I'm going to hope for your benefit that you're telling the truth.

What to do when he calls back?
Answer: Don't pick up the phone.

Avoid all problems. End of story.

Stop being so naive about what these two did though. "Slept over and kissed?" Are you kidding me? Come on now, you're a guy right? Since when do you sleep over with a chick and just kiss? I don't care what sort of sources you have. I don't care if you have video footage of the night they had together with the Pope holding up a sign in the background that reads: "They're just kissing", with her parents and his parents sleeping in the same bed in the same room. You still couldn't pay me enough cash to believe that story. Come to terms with reality here my friend.
 

italostud

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Originally posted by Melvin
I don't care if you have video footage of the night they had together with the Pope holding up a sign in the background that reads: "They're just kissing",
LMAO.

Actually, this whole thread is teh gay. You told some guy from overseas, who probably banged your gf, to call you to apologize? Is this some kind of joke? Methinks so...
 

notorio

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Wow... A fellow DJ comes and then gets thrashed? What a warm welcome.

italostud--you're gay. She's on a study abroad trip and this guy is from the US (like me and my g/f). I might see him again here in the states. Don't assume what you don't know.
Melvin--don't act like you know my life story and situation. You know nothing. You don't know my name, you don't know my age, you don't anything. How about YOU stop being so naive?

Seems like you two pathetic chumps are just whiney nay-sayers. Has the world mistreated you two special people? If so, I'm sorry. Just know the world is not against you--it's what YOU make of it.

I came for advice--not to make situations worse. If you have nothing helpful to say, fvck you and stay away.
 

Melvin

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notorio: Relax, I'm not bashing you at all. Sometimes the truth isn't easy to absorb.

As a DJ you seem to be doing fine, much better than I am at the moment, trust me. You seem to have no problems getting laid so for that I commend you. Keep doing what you're doing but don't sweat the minimal stuff like wondering what to do about this guy calling you. Either don't pick up the phone or if you pick it up let the guy know it doesn't matter and be on your way. Simple.

Good luck.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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