How do I handle this situation?!

[JDFK22]

Hi all, my gf and I have been going out now for 8 months. This past month, I encountered problems with my cell phone provider I was unable to resolve. She took it upon herself to suggest that I go under her plan. I didn't want to burden her like that but she was very insistent on doing it, so I did.

However, lately she's watching me like a hawk even though I have nothing to hide. The one day she goes "Who's this *** number that texts you day in and day out?" and when she quickly found out it was a long time friend that moved away she's like "Oh, I wasn't sure if it was him or not. Ok just curious" So fine, then a girl I know that lives a few hours away messaged me one late night recently, and the very next day she goes "Why is Emily texting you SO late at night?!" , and at the time, I didn't even think to question "How does she know who it is" because I figured maybe she just googled the area code and put 2 and 2 together. Then I figured phuck it, two can play this game. Just for fun I decided to check the bill and see who she is texting. Saw it, and quite frankly, don't care. But one number did stand out, it was emily's number. Which means she texted her to find out who she is

 

[Mr Wright]

Get your own cell provider ASAP. She's got way too much leverage over you, she can just check your personal business, she can probably cut off your phone or whatever.

Your phone. Your facebook account. Your twitter. Your motherfvcking pink fluffy ring-binder.

These are your things. Your business. She has no right to see these things, if she demands to see these things, tell her straight up that you aren't being shady but these things are your business and that if she's that insecure about it, it's her problem not yours.

 

[Ids]

Passing the limits in my idea. Even if she's jealous she shouldn't look at your phone or who you're talking with.you have to put boundaries and also she should apologize to you.

 

[TheException]

I didn't want to burden her like that but she was very insistent on doing it, so I did.

Another example of the pu$$ification of men.

Since when is anything a woman "strongly insists" ever a good thing "game" wise? They strongly insist...
-you buy them a drink
-that we dont have sex tonight
-that she doesnt give bl0wjobs
-etc etc

A woman's "insistence" should never play into our decisions. You essentially gave her the key and she opened the door to your phone...shocker.

Dont even say anything to her...just go out. Get off of her plan and find your own. When she brings it up(most likely in a fit of rage), you just deflect and say something like "Its no big deal....I needed my own plan" and leave it at that.

I do question the worth of this girl though....screen better folks. This is low quality behavior and very close to the grounds for breaking up...if it was me.

 

[Don_Dom]

Yeah, an ex and I almost did a joint plan because there would have been a major savings involved. REALLY glad we didn't because it would have been a mess to sort out when we split up...was enough of a mess as it was. It was a serious relationship of several years and I dont cheat in relationships so had nothing to hide, but even then you are really just asking for problems doing this with a girlfriend. The only time it makes sense is when you are married and have kids and get a family plan, IMO.

Honestly, your most immediate problem is now, if you do want to get your own phone, she is going to be very suspiscious of why. Which is fine, but it will unnecessarily put strain on your relationship and that could have been avoided. The key thing to remember when making any "together" decision with a girlfriend like this, moving in together, etc, is you cant go backwards without straining your relationship. So think things thru before you leap. I had an ex propose getting a joint bank account once...Had no reason to think we would split up at that point but I saw no advantage for either of us to doing it, lots of potential for all kinds of problems, and politely said "Thats something we can do after we are married."

Personally, what I would be most concerned about is her actively checking up on you. If you have never done anything before that should give her grounds for being concerned, why is she? Some people project their own bad behavior and get very paranoid that their partner is cheating because they themselves have been cheating. Irrational inexplicable suspiscion that you are cheating = no bueno. I would keep an eye out, bro.